Sick unto death for nine hours yesterday.
The sickness, illness is not important; still,
it bears reflection . . .
I get that the unwavering pain was beyond
anything I had ever experienced. What I
find interesting, now that I'm pain free, is
that I would have done anything, and I mean
anything, to end the pain. I'd have acceded
to any demand, any request, no matter how
extravagant or unrealistic. My values, my
code of ethics, would have had no bearing!
Nothing mattered, except ending the pain.
I actually cried for hours, wondered if I
should go to the hospital, sang out to the
gods to save me, tried everything at my
disposal to end this torrid pain. I swear the
queen of England could have come to visit
and I would not have been able to attend
to her.
Interestingly enough, we find ourselves
criticizing, judging, the actions of others.
We chuckle, shrug our shoulders, make
faces of disdain . . . and declare for all
and sundry that we would NEVER,
EVER commit such atrocities. And yet . . .
Yesterday proved to me that I am NOT
capable of withstanding torture, or the
resulting pain. I pray I am never tested
beyond my ability to withstand . . .
pain as the teacher
learned about my deepest fears
am beyond appalled
"Pain is always there, but suffering
is a choice." realtalkkim
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