04/30/2021 - Día del Niño

I so love April 30th. In old Mexico, 

we celebrate this day, Día del Niño,

(Day of the Child). It is a glorious

celebration of innocence, childhood

glee and joy abounding.

This got me to pondering on my own

child within. Me thinks we're so often

busy being responsible adults that we

forget our own child. And, this child 

does exist, make no mistake.

She sings along, at top voice, when

alone with the car radio. He kicks

something when things don't go right.

She sneaks that midnight bowl of ice

cream, chuckling to herself all the while.

He swears, she cries; we all giggle.

So, what would be wrong with simply

acknowledging this kid, an actual 

part of our psyche?! Recognizing that

we all have childish moments, kid-like

whims, that little bit of immaturity 

sneaking out?!

Once the child within is let out of the

closet, it's easier to deal with our own

silliness, whims and longings. So

what if you feel like an ice cream

bar around midnight?! Why does it

matter if you break down and cry over

a stubbed toe? Enjoy that fun video

game in the middle of the afternoon.

Let's celebrate our children!

Hey, my name's Mathilda . . . Come

on over and play . . .

missing my childhood

need a rest from adulthood 

longing for timeout

04/29/2021

It's too hot; no, it's too cold. He's too

tall; she's too short; too bad we can't

put them in the blender. I'm too fat;

but, she's too skinny; wish I could

look better . . .

Are we never satisfied? Do we always

complain about the weather? Or, our

weight, our years, our health? I fear 

it gets worse with age! I find myself

wondering if I am somehow turning

into a proper complainer!

How does one beat the stereotype?

How do we seek contentment and

acceptance? What's to be done in

order to lose all the negativity that

goes along with our complaints? 

Gratitude may be one answer. High

time we sat back and had a damn

good look! Remember when mom

used to say, "Eat your oatmeal right

now; there are starving children all 

over the planet!"

Frankly, everywhere we were to

look, there are people in far better

and far worse situations than us. 

So, what's the answer, already?!

Acceptance might be another answer.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't grow

or long for improvement . . . but,

never Bill Gates will we be! I would

hate to think if I ducked out of the

rat race on the morrow, that my last

thought would be, "Why couldn't I

have had more of this or more of that?"

Let's enjoy life! Let's live rather than

exist! 'Tis time to grow up already!

im fab as i am

heres me dancing in the now

bring on that music

04/28/2021

Weather is such an interesting

phenomenon! 

Today, we sat by the fire, enjoying 

the sun coming through the windows,

blue skies and drifting white clouds.

Then, as if a magician had waved

his wand, the sky began to darken.

It was almost palpable! Bright blue

to light gray to darker grey to dark!

Thereupon, the rumbles began. 

Hadn't heard thunder like that in 

forever! Lightening zigzagging 

across the sky twice over in both 

windows.

Expecting a proper downpour, 

we were suddenly pelted with

hail. Small, but deadly. I wanted

to feel it! I stepped outside the

door for just an instant . . . and

paid the price. O U C H !!!

Rain followed and continued.

Funny how I don't find the rain

nearly as depressing as snow!

Go figure!

nature in a mood

mother being capricious 

enjoying herself

04/27/2021 - Walking Sticks

I find walking sticks a great joy.

Somehow they speak to me in

a kind of comfort, if you will.

Whilst on walks in our nature, 

a perfect walking stick may 

await you. It's important to keep 

an eye out for that special find.

Go for about 5' to 5.5' in length.

The limb or stick needs to be as

straight as possible to bear your

weight safely. An inch and a half

to two inches is a good width.

Once home with your prize, all

knobs and protrusions can be

lopped off.  Sever the bottom

end straight across for greater

security. The same may be done

to the top unless it is particularly

interesting.

Stand the stick straight up for a

measure. About shoulder height

or a tad lower, drill a hole through

and through. A double length of 

leather can be threaded through 

and knotted for a perfect hand 

hold.

At this point, decor can begin.

a special stone or crystal can

be glued in a crevice at the top.

A thin copper wire can be

spiraled round and round your

stick if appealing. Symbols of

choice can be carved at different

points. A tuft of feathers can be

glued into the top. Anything goes!

I like to take mine out in Mother

Nature, show it off and silently

as for her blessing for my walks

in her bounty and beauty. This

would be a personal choice of

course. Happy walking . . .

04/26/2021 - Moon Water

I'm not certain as to the magick of

Moon Water. Still, I find myself 

attracted to the ceremonial part of

the entire venture. 

I like to choose a special time for

exact reasons. For example, a New

Moon might serve for the beginning

of a new project. A Full Moon would

perhaps represent the completion

thereof. For me, from New Moon to

Full Moon is a time of acquiring,

whereas the Full Moon to the New

Moon is a time of letting go.

So, were I to begin a special project

around the New Moon period, I'd

wash my grandmother's blue canning

jars, fill them with water along with

three specially selected crystals and 

put them outside at sunset. I would

get up at dawn to bring in the jars at

what would be moonset and sunrise.

What would I do with the water once

I brought it into the house? I like to

water ailing plants with this special

brew. If I find myself hurting for any

reason, I like to drink a small glass

during my meditation. If I find I have

something unwanted on my face or

body, I like to wash it with Moon 

Water.

Is this important? Is it real? Does it 

work? All I know is that I much

enjoy the procedure. If there is a bit

of magick to be had, all the better.

This works for me and I love it!

Thoughts?!

04/25/2021 - Smudge Sticks

"In addition to warding off insects

and disease, shamans commonly

burned sacred plants and used their

smoke to ascend their intentions

to the heavens; a way to connect 

the material and spiritual worlds."

wikipedia

 

Smudge Sticks are one of the tools

I find endearing in my celebrated

tradition. I'm enamored from their

historical incipience to their modern

day usage.

Every summer, my guy drives me

up above the New Castle area to

collect fresh sage from the side of

the road. I only collect a wee tad

every few feet and make certain

not to touch the roots. It would be

evil to diminish Mother Nature's

bounty.

Arriving home, I shower, change

and enter a state of meditation to

begin working with the sage. The

sticks must be created whilst the 

sage is fresh. 

I take an appropriate amount of 

sage, hold it tightly as I wrap it 

with natural hemp string up one

side and down the other. Once

wrapped, I trim each end and lay

it out to dry.

I play with a bit of art in the third

round. Sometimes, I'll insert a bud

just before wrapping. A different

color herb makes a nice contrast.

I've even used a cinnamon stick.

I choose to gift these as I believe

they stray too far from the spiritual

for my purposes.

I am ever so grateful for sage; 

make no mistake . . .

04/24/2021 - Sacred Ash

What is Sacred Ash?

Sacred Ash, depicting its name

perfectly, is a specially prepped

ash to be used in sacred purposes.

How is it prepared?

1) A specifically sacred day for

the burning and prepping must

be chosen. Earth Day is perfect.

2)The pit where the ash is to be

prepped and garnered, must be

cleaned out in its entirety. 

2) Virgin wood, consisting of 

limbs and small pieces must be

gathered. No other woods are

acceptable.

4) Any fire starters used, must

be of the same ilk. No papers

or other foreign objects may be

used for this purpose.

5) The following day, cull the

ashes through a sifter. Remains

in the sifter may be returned to

the fire pit for later burning. A

couple of tablespoons of ash 

may be placed in a small, sealed

bag for later use.

How is it used?

Place a dot of sacred ash on the

forehead prior to meditation, I

like to add it to the soil used in

planting grandmother's violets.

It serves as fertilizer and growth

stimulant. I rub the ash on my

hands prior to any garden works.

How is it disposed? 

As I make it every year, I like to

dispose of any leftover ash the

day before Earth Day. I test the

direction of the wind and let it

sail away.

Note: Whether or not the sacred

ash has any special qualities is

not the issue. After going through

the process, one tends to be more

mindful of it use and meaning. I

find I pay a lot more attention to

grandmother's violets when I'm

caring for them in such a special

manner.

04/23/2021 - Morning of the day after . . .

Oh my God, an Earth Day never to be

forgotten! I would be the first to admit

that for once, the prep was nigh onto 

as much fun as the celebration.

Upon awaking at o' dark thirty, I came

downstairs and spent an hour or so

cleaning out the fire pit so that we'd

have a virgin fire. Out to the trash w/six

bags of ash and 5 or so inches snow.

A sweep and a cleanse, a lighting of

candles, a selection of special music,

and I called down my guy to make 

the fire. You can have no idea just 

how difficult it is to make a fire w/

wet virgin wood, bark and all. The 

idea  was to keep the fire as original 

as possible for collecting the sacred 

ash on the morrow.

My sweet man purchased and gifted

fresh grapes for our outdoor friends.

Birds of all kinds, chipmunks, black

squirrels . . . and a mapache (raccoon) 

that is driving him absolutely batty!

Me thinks, they adore him!

Then, began the sharing of messages

with friends of like lovings of Mama

Earth! Those thoughts, memories,

poetry shared and longings . . . naught

like it! I am ever so fortunate to have

women such as these in my life!

I have to laugh at our digging through

over a foot of snow to find that odd bit

of natural wood to bring to the fire.

Thank the gods that the fire was hot 

enough to burn thoroughly wet wood!

And, what a gorgeous fire it was the

entire day . . . ashes await the morn!

Will there ever be another Earth Day

such as this . . . I wonder?! I pray, I

be there . . .

my dear mother earth

me so loving our lady

pray tell how to serve

04/22/2021 - Earth Day

Earth Day, an annual event on April 22

demonstrating support for environmental

protection. First held on April 22, 1970,

it now includes a wide range of events 

coordinated globally by earthday.org

including 1 billion people in more than 

193 countries. Wikipedia

I was 20 years old and living in Old Mexico

when Earth Day came into play. We were all

beyond thrilled. Frankly, I don't believe any

one loves Mother Earth quite the way the 

Latin American countries do. I know that all 

over the world, there are issues with littering, 

mal use of inappropriate products, waste and

disrespect to our Mother in many ways.

The thing I keep telling myself, "Let it never

be me!" Because, it all starts at home, doesn't

it?! And, if each and everyone of us does our

bit, those phenomenal concentric circles

emanate outwards, often over crossing and

bringing her the satisfaction that we're paying

attention to business!

Perhaps, I'm not of an age to march, carry 

signs and make speeches. However, I am of

that ever perfect age to recycle, never litter,

re-use and donate. There are so many ways

in which we can honor our Mother. Let's

each celebrate her every way we can!

loving mother earth

hostess to our residing

pray be a good guest

04/21/2021

Coming home . . . what an experience!

One tends to forget. In the space of just

a few hours, so many weather changes.

Sooooo wasn't expecting . . .

From blue skies and clouds . . . go to 

skies so dark, it felt like the end of the

world.  Not only that, we couldn't see

in front of our faces . . . not even the

red or green traffic lights. We'd come

right up to them before they revealed

themselves. Talk about, not only going

slow, but still slamming on brakes . . .

all the way!

Hours later, when we finally rounded

the corner to home, sweet home, it

rather felt apocryphal. We made it!

Wow! Quick, get the most essential

items in; it's starting to snow!

Trip after trip, only bringing in that

which couldn't be left out in the travel

trailer. Hurry! And, it had snowed 8"

whilst we were away . . . no path to

the cabin!

Finally in . . . cabin looks a mess, but

so be it! And then, "Oh my God, I just

remembered . . . " Deal with it, what

ever 'it' was . . . and then, "S--t, I just

thought of something I should have

done!" Whatever, three separate times

and I am sooooo hoping there are no

more remembrances!!!

Loved our long weekend with fam!

Not quite certain just why I love the

coming home as well! It's all good!

what an adventure

so love me some family

ever and always

04/20/2021

I know my dad used to repeat that old

adage, "If you don't like the weather

in Colorado, wait 15 minutes!" But,

this weekend took the cake.

We traveled in high winds; snow began

upon our arrival and left its three plus

inches behind. Next day, we were able

to sit out in the sun and today we awake

to fog so dark it feels like the end of the

world! Just to be Colorado!

I saw a jest on our infamous FB about

a gal packing for a Colorado vacation.

In her suitcase, she had clothing for

every eventuality and even then was

questioning whether she had packed

for all occasions. Again, that would 

be our Colorado.

We're going to try and make it home.

Not. sure if we'll have to camp out, 

say 15 minutes from home, but it is

an idea to be considered!

Love being retired and not having a

nervous breakdown every time some

thing doesn't go my way and I'll be

late for work. Come on guys, get your

retired hat on, your fishing gear in the

truck and let's party!

I'll bring ice cold brewskies and snacks.

Sorry, I don't cook anymore! Wish I 

didn't eat anymore either!!!

course you're invited

im fun and games retired

want to come and play

Learn to pronounce

04/19/2021

Exciting day . . . got my 14th tat! I'm

going for 13 wild cat tats and 2 pan

tats and 1 redone! If you can overlook

the pain involved . . . 'tis an amazing,

several years' project! 

Since the wild cat is my totem, it's been

fun selecting different cats to immortalize

on my bod! My tattoo artist, Archie, has

done a phenomenal job! He tells me, this  

is the first time he's done a full body of 

work in wild cat heads. I also quite like 

the two symbols he's done on my upper 

arms, thus representing my core beliefs.

I've heard a rumor a couple of times or

three, that tattooing can become addictive.

Not certain I have the right to opine, but

me thinks 'tis most likely true. It's simply

been killing me to await my next tat

whilst this damn plague has been playing

itself out!

If Winter ever ends, and yes, I know

Spring was eclipsed, I'm going to have

to get in a wardrobe that shows off 

some of my tats. I've been dressing in

nothing but black for so long, can't

even visualize me in color. Maybe,

I'll continue the black and throw in

the odd colored scarf or some such! 

so love me some tats

saddens me wrong era born

fun at any cost

04/18/2021

There is something to be said about

being able to watch the sun go down,

slowly but surely, the rays stretching

out along the mountain range . . .

 . . . Perhaps, only surpassed by the

incomparable beauty of the sunrise,

rarely seen in my tiny cul de sac.

It's made me think, there are many

sunrises and sunsets in the days of

our lives, we just have to see them,

watch for them.

There is a sunrise in the smile of

every happy child. There's a sunrise

in promises offered and kept, in rare

and unexpected phenomenal days.

Sunsets occur at the end of amazing

days, highlighting precious moments.

But, sunsets can also mark the end

of battles fought and won, the end

of sorrow.

Me thinks 'tis good to pay attention

to those unexpected sunrises and

sunsets . . . lessons to be learned

as well as honored . . .

sunrises begin

sunsets somehow never end

rising and setting

04/17/2021

Seeing the children brings me once 

again to the realization of just how

important these connections are.

There's always a sense of anticipation

whilst preparing for that . . .

"Let's go see the kids this weekend!"

I find the excitement growing as we

pack, get out the pressies for the kids,

leave arrangements and finalize plans.

It doesn't matter if we always do the

same things . . . go pick up groceries,

order in pizza, make a few margs,

watch a fam movie . . . it's always

rather wondrous!

Now, here's something I've never 

quite understood; as our time together

comes to an end, my anticipation for

returning home grows. Guess it must

have sometime to do with the age old

adage, "There's no place like home."

Move over Judy; got the message!

adage tried and true

maybe there's no place like home

loving me my place

04/16/2021

CWpoet posted a note this morning,

"just love" . . .

I think about love a great deal, all its

different kinds and meanings. The

three basic, best known . . .

    Eros - romantic 

    Philia - affectionate 

    Agape - unconditional 

We tend to think of eros as that love

between spouses and couples, whereas

philia is that which we feel for family

and friends. Agape, that holy, perfect

love, a godly love, perhaps the love a

mother feels for her children.

Dr. Carol Morgan has further broken

down philia, which she calls love 

between friends, into philautia, our self 

love. Many of us grew up believing not 

to indulge ourselves in ourselves. Today, 

we understand that it is important to love 

and care for ourselves in order to better

love, and serve others.

Morgan refers to storge as that parental

love towards children, thus separating

it even more from philia. I can actually

appreciate the love I feel for my own

babes being in a separate category. Me

thinks there is no greater love than that

for one's own.

I like pragma, that enduring love twixt

and tween those who have loved forever

and a day. I sooooo get this! I have those

childhood friends of fifty and sixty years.

I have friends I have learned to love in

my 35 year sojourn in the U.S. There is

a kind of adoring that goes on in these

long-term friendships.

I see ludus, playful love, as the beginning

of eros. I also get that not all playings in

the puddles of romantic love, go on to end

up in the oceans of eros. A lot of us like

to play a while before returning home

from vacation, as it were.

Perhaps, the one to watch out for is mania,

an obsessive love that can come to no good!

To be completely honest, we all have bits 

and pieces of mania . . . but, we try to watch 

out for them . . . we've all seen the movies, 

after all! 

Sooooo, when I tell you, "I love you six

ways to Sunday," watch out . . . you'll 

have no idea which of these eight I'm 

talking about!

so love me some friends

loving me my family 

my own even more

04/15/2021

If you happen to be nigh onto a hundred

years old like me, you may well remember

Ann Landers and Dear Abby.

These two advice columnists were twin

sisters, each working for opposing dailies. 

We received The Daily Sentinel and our

neighbors, The Denver Post. So as a kid,

and getting a kick out of such things, I

managed to grow up reading both sisters.

The gals were adroit in choosing which

letters to post and answer.  There was

always a serious note or two. Usually,

there was one somewhat hilarious, and

yet other times, they would post a hoax.

Both sisters were clever in their answers

and delighted the masses.

As a country kid budding into bras and

periods, I was able to learn the odd thing

or two about the world without having to

continuously ask my parents embarrassing

questions, although I did plenty of that . . .

"How old will I be when I get my first kiss?

Do I have to stay in this religion? Who do

I have to be when I grow up? How will I

get the money for college? Do I ever get

to move away from here? Can I get a job

now? Will I ever get to see a movie?"

Looking back, I must have driven my

parents more than a bit nuts. But to this

day, I'm still asking questions and they

aren't around any more to answer them . . .

"Will I ever grow up? How much longer

do I get to live? Will I ever understand

life?  Why can't I get it right? What do

I do with all this sorrow? Do Heaven

and Hell really exist or are they just

pseudonyms for things we go through

here on earth? Will I ever stop weeping?"

Sometimes, I so wish my parents were

here to answer my questions. I'd even

settle for writing to Ann Landers or

Dear Abby, but they've entered their

own pearly gates by now.

Pray, who oh who, will answer all my 

questions?

ever on our quests

tis don quixote and i

want to go with us

04/14/2021

"April showers bring May flowers."

Me thinks someone in charge of the

weather up there has gotten mixed up! 

Promise, cross my heart, it's the white 

and fluffy I'm seeing out there this morn 

and has naught to do with an April wet!

I'm going to make my best effort not to

get into a funk over this. However, we

were hoping to visit some of our kids

over the weekend and my daughter-in-

law and I have tats scheduled! Damn!

Maybe there's a clue here somewhere.

My guy insists that a 4-day snow might

just mean I'm supposed to get my ass

in the kitchen and make some of this

mole I've been writing about. Claims

his mouth is watering!

Here's to those wondrous winter sports, 

happy families and me sitting by the fire!

look out the window

angles at the pillow fights

so not in the mood

"April showers bring May flowers."

*Part of a poem recorded in 1610,

Wikipedia

04/13/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 4

Now, I think we should have been able

to not only try the mole, but as women

involved in a three-day saga, we should

have made a proper meal of it at the end

of the day. Alas, not so . . . and frankly, I

felt my mouth had already been watering 

for several days.

This particular morning was all about

getting ready for the familial banquet.

One of the aunts was all about getting

both brown and black beans ground, 

seasoned and re-fried. Yet another tía 

was prepping all the ingredients for 

guacamole. And, not to forget three 

different kinds of rice; white, yellow 

and red.

There were three chickens on the bake,

being basted and assessed on a regular

basis. I may be a vegetarian, but I could

much appreciate the scents coming from

all directions!.

Family members began arriving. Some

brought flowers, others a bit of vino and

cervezas. Due to the numbers, the fiesta 

was going to be held outside. As people

settled into seats, the tías began bringing 

out plates with mole drenched chicken,

accompanied with rice and beans, guac

and salad. Me thinks the last supper pales!

Mexican people love family and friends,

eating together, playing music and sharing.

The oohs and awes being uttered around

the card tables were most likely music to

the aunts' ears! I would say that the banquet

went on for a couple of hours, but the fiesta

lasted well into the late evening hours.

Not sure whether I'll be allotted a place in

the celestial realm, but I do know I've visited

for several days . . .

04/12/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 3

Me thinks there will always be a bit

of magic in day three of anything. I

completely 'get' that there has to be

prep work in the worthwhile. And,

the prep work for the mole left me in

a state of anticipation barring none.

The ingredients favored by each chef

have to be the secret in the sauce, as

it were. Each of the women brought

and contributed different bits and

pieces of everything . . . from bread 

crumbs to herbs and spices.

By now, there truly was no space in

which to place things. Still, you could

tell that these gals had done plenty of

the same before. Things were moved

closer together and space created. The

different pots of pure chile sauce were

still in the back room.

Then began the discussion of which

ingredients would be used along with

all the whys and wherefores. For 

example, some of the women wanted

to use anise, a licorice flavored seed.

Those not caring for this particular

taste were quite against it. Again, I

could see that this very discussion 

had happened often before. I think 

they settled on using just a very little.

Fresh herbs were placed together next

to one of the blenders and the aunt in

charge got to work. Dry herbs were

in another corner of the room with yet

another blender and another aunt.

One aunt began straining different juices,

liquids and broths. Vegetable broth, beef 

and chicken broth were used to enhance 

flavor in the mole. I found it interesting 

that no bean broth was used. I did ask

about it and was told that the flavor was

too overwhelming.

I stood and watched, mouth agape and

hardly able to take it all in. Clockwork

would have paled in comparison to

these women at work. I wish I could

have seen it all in slow motion. I wish

the entire event could have been filmed

for the duration. I wished and wished . . .

It wasn't long before I was put to work.

I did everything from fetch and go, to

grinding bread crumbs in an age old

molcajete. Huge vats were brought out

and slowly but surely, chile and other

ingredients were mixed with long wooden

spoons.

Then the tasting began, and with the

tasting, bits and pieces were added until

each of the cooks were satisfied. Our

three day prepping and cooking was

over . . . and the eating was just about

to begin.

04/11/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 2

The second day, I awakened to the 

anticipation of 'fem fam' and mole 

preconceptions. Me thinks I was as

excited as my wedding day! We had 

a quick coffee and some of Mexico's 

famous Pan Dulce and we were off. 

Pots sitting on ever orifice were now

getting all the attention. I imagined

we would drain the water but not so.

A couple of cups of both soaked chiles

and water were put in the blender. 

Once processed, the contents were put

through a tight strainer and then back

into the blender to be processed over

and over; once again strained.

There were so many pots of chiles that

one blender would have burned up with

so much usage. Looking back, I think

each of the women brought their blenders

so they could be traded off and rested.

Indeed, it took several hours to process

each of the different pots of chiles. 

No way, could all of the pots, now filled

with pure strained chile, been fit into any

normal refrigerator. So, they were placed

on the floor of a dark back bedroom and

covered with upside down lids. This way,

ice could be placed in each lid without

running off onto the floor.

Again, I felt the rigors of the day and 

looked forward to a rest, an eat and some

shared stories. I must say, there is no

experience that can compare to a group

of Mexican women, comfortable with

each other . . . laughing, jesting, and

telling tales out of school. I may or may

not have joined in, but mostly I sat there

in awe and wanted to be just like them

when I grew up.

It was a hot, hot day and as the evening

cooled off, there was porch and Corona

time. As much as I was enjoying, the

floor and my sleeping bag awaited me. I

fell asleep, smiling with the anticipation

of what the next day would bring.

04/10/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 1

The story behind the scenes . . .

I was a newlywed 19 year old when

the women of my husband's family

requested I come and meet with them

for three days. This was such an honor

and I was quite touched. Add in that

my spouse wasn't invited and the

suspense was almost unbearable.

Turns out that as the newest member 

of the family, I was to be taught the

age old family recipe for making mole.

Wow! Just W O W !!!

First of all, I had to promise that I'd

never share the recipe with anyone

other than my daughters. Secondly,

it was explained to me that this was

a three day process and I would learn

as we went along.

Ever so fun; there were several fam

women present. We sat in a circle

around the kitchen table and began

'plucking' dried chiles. By this, I mean

break off the stem, shake out as much

of the seeds as possible, throw it in

an awaiting pot of water and onto the

next.

We sat, plucked, shared tales out 

of school, all of which made the 

never ending process doable! At 

the end of the day, looking around 

us, I could see pots of all sizes 

filled with water and dried chiles, 

just waiting to be turned into magic!

I was exhausted . . . so not used to

sitting for six hours or so, bending

over the chiles . . . stem, shake,

throw in a pot of water, over and

over again! 

And then I sneezed, my eyes watered

and you can guess what came next.

I swear, I screamed. With six or so

hours of chile on my hands, you can

imagine what it must have felt like

when I rubbed my eyes. Once I

recovered, we all had a good laugh,

but even to this day, this still happens.

Tonight, the chiles will soak; tomorrow

begins the saga of Day 2! 

To be continued . . .

p.s. No, I will not be breaking my word.

No recipes will be shared . . .

04/09/2021

I was finding myself a bit down . . .

SADS is interesting; you never quite

know when it's going to hit you. And

when it does, watch out!

I've learned to be somewhat proactive,

so I built a fire, lit some candles, put on

some music and served myself a small

glass of wine. Scene set . . . and me at

the ready to feel better pronto!

And then SHE arrived. By 'she' I mean

my bestie. Once in a while she's able to

travel from parts unknown, spend some

time with me and virtually save my life.

We sat by the fire, wine in hand, the 

words simply pouring out of us . . .

should have been difficult to even

understand, but somehow it all made

sense.

We'd laugh, tear up, interrupt each

other, remember something and stick it

in the conversation one way or another.

What an evening; I pray I never forget it!

Frankly, I'm coming to the idea that I 

need to redefine those precious words;

friend, friendship. I get that we all have

our ideas, definitions, meanings of the

words. Still, when an amazing friend

of three decades encompasses every

idea you've ever had about friendship,

'tis time for a look see . . .

 . . . her name is Alice!

need me some friend time

friend by any other name

makes life bearable

04/08/2021

It all started with my guy feeling

peckish. Add into that, he'd been

thinking of family, home and

childhood treats . . .

He came up to bed with his fave

cereal bowl. In it, he had broken

up an ice cream sandwich, added

proper ice cream and covered in

all in milk, if you can believe it!

He said it was nothing; he grew

up with Miracle Whip 'n banana

sandwiches.

Rather made me think of my own

childhood crazies. Have you ever

had a dill pickle and peanut butter 

sandwich? Then there's the comfort

food of mac 'n cheese with Velveeta

cheese . . . and don't forget peanut 

butter filled celery sticks with raisins. 

I know! I know! It's all about being

kids . . . But wait, I seem to recall

being pregnant and yearning for

some of these . . .

Yikes! Yuck!! No way!!! NO!

Wouldn't be caught dead . . . 

crazy fetishes 

a walk down memory lane

color me yearning 

04/07/2021

Feeling lucky . . .

I got to see my friend today. She hales

from my home town. We even got to

teach together for three years.

She is amazing! Friendship means so

much to her. She blows me away with

her commitment. It shows in every-

thing she does.

She thinks nothing of driving several 

hours to visit a bestie. She makes a 

point of staying in touch by making 

and sending handmade cards. She 

telephones from time to time. She

gardens and cans and shares. Wow!

In looking at our lives, the important

parts, me thinks we would do well to

realize that joy shared is the greatest

of all gifts!

We all live in that busy, busy, busy

state of mind. I rather like the idea

of stealing a few moments a day

from all that busy. 

It probably takes 15 minutes to write 

and stamp a postcard. An e-mail, a 

text, a phone call might rob you of 

a few minutes, but any of those will 

make someone's day!

Bet it will be fun to come up with

a couple of ideas for shining bright

on the dark days!

You are my inspiration . . .

so needs me some fun

tis a cold dark winter world 

lets invent some sun

04/06/2021 - Courage 4

I so enjoyed turning 70! Especially as 

my doc and three specialists gave me

only a couple of months to live after 

I cracked my skull open in a fainting.

But somehow, 71 brought down this

crashing reality . . . I'm in that last

quarter of the human life-span in

which I could go on the morrow or

live to 99. Frankly, it's hard to know 

just what to wish for . . . and God,

does this last round ever require

courage!!!

I forget things, important things! I

ask myself, "Is this from my cracked

skull accident in which I lost about

17% of my memory? Or, does it 

have to do with me being about 100

years old?"

I have black and blue marks on my

bod that I have zero idea when and

where I got them. Sleeping patterns

are now nonexistent  . . . If I have a

cup of coffee, that night is out the

window . . . although I usually sleep

about 10 hours the next day!

I'm in that place where I tell friends

a story and I can see in their eyes

and reactions they've only heard it

about sixteen times! I find myself

longing, nay . . . NEEDING to see

my children more often, something

to do with my fear, I suppose, that 

I'm on my way out!

So, me thinks 'tis time to leave my

thoughts on courage and get off my

duff and enjoy whatever time the

gods decide to gift me! And, maybe

you should come and visit and I'll

regale you with a few tales out of

school for the sixteenth time!

bring on the courage

ill take it at any price

cannot go out lame

p.s. Thanks Pat, guess I needed this!

Here's to courage for both of us!

04/05/2021 - Courage 3

This walk down memory lane 

has been hard, really rough . . . 

but, I'm not sorry for having 

taken a look see . . .

I so thank the Universe that 

I was able to land a teaching 

job in the US. Not only was 

it my saving grace, teaching 

is truly the love of my life!

My children, my own babies, 

will ever and always be my 

first love. Having said that, 

other people's children will 

always come next.

There is nothing in the whole

wide world like teaching . . . 

a sacred commitment to open 

the doors and windows of the 

universe for our young people.

Taking teens by the hand and

leading them into the wonders

of a heretofore unknown world

must be the greatest challenge

a teacher has ever been given. 

All kids deserve a teacher who

says, "I am not going to let you

fail because I see more in you

than you see in yourself. I will

go to the end of the earth to

make sure school is what you

need it to be." Bored Teachers

Perhaps, it takes a modicum

amount of courage to face a

classroom each and every day.

For me though, the courage

needed was to leave the class-

room after 41 years of teaching.

Nearly broke my heart . . . 

 . . . I miss it every single day 

of my life!

To be continued . . .

04/04/2021 - Courage 2

My memory takes a peek at those two

small children, my children . . .

In a strange country, not knowing the

language, having no friends and missing

their papi. Sometimes, in the middle of

the night, I find myself actually quaking 

at the audacity I had to ask, nay 'make' my

own children go through this experience.

New school, bus rides, language learning

and I can't even begin to imagine the fear

they must have felt at every turn. Now,

think of that awesome word COURAGE,

and I will show you courage!

'Tis beyond the pale what these two kids

endured due to their mother's caprice to

return 'home'. And no, we weren't home.

We had left our home behind. Once in a

while, my little girl would catch me in

tears. She would ask, "Estás triste mami?"

My God, out of the mouth of babes . . .

what right did I even have to be sad when

my own children lived from one clueless

moment to the next?! ~!@#$%^&*()_+

So, here's to real courage, the courage

that must be dredged up from the bottom

of the soul when faced with scenarios

not of your own making. I bow to my

children; I kneel at their feet. I have 

never, ever witnessed courage such as

they displayed . . . ever so young . . .

To be continued . . .

04/03/2031 - Courage 1

"Please tell the story of how you were

courageous enough to stick around 

Mexico as such a young woman and 

how you gained courage to start over 

while carrying responsibility for your

children back in the states." ~Pat Salas

I have to smile as Pat Salas, District 14

Counselor and Colleague, is one of the

most courageous souls I've ever met!

Pat refers to my 20 year sojourn in Mexico.

I was there from 17-37, greatest adventure

ever! Having finished high school in three

years, I took what would have been my

senior year, at a parochial boarding school

in Mexico. Vastly different from anything

I had ever encountered, it was interesting,

fascinating, amazing and I wouldn't have

missed it for the world.

What I didn't expect, was to be courted,

engaged, married, educated . . . and best

of all, to become a mother. Somehow, I

found each and every experience to be

phenomenal. When the children were

still pre-school, we moved further south 

to teach at a university. My father came 

down and built our home . . . and, we 

were set for life.

Alas, the unexpected can happen in life,

and the time came to return to the US.

This is where courage came into play. 

I returned to the known, as it were. Yet,

I found everything to be so different, so

changed. I no longer knew the idioms,

the nuances of language. I didn't know

dress and styles. I didn't understand the

social realm. I was lost in my own land.

To be continued . . .

04/02/2021

Today marks a year since my

good friend's passing. Her man

wrote this morning, honoring 

her and missing her.

They were great friends as well

as partners, having been married

some 65 years. Theirs was a fine,

strong relationship, one most of

us have yearned for. And yet, he

wonders if he knew her as well

as he might have.

I wonder why we hold ourselves

back in our relationships?! Is it

that we want to keep a bit of

ourselves for ourselves? Is it fear?

Is it pride? Are we protecting our

hearts in case of the ultimate hurt?

Obviously, I'm somewhat on my

way out; but, it's never too late.

I am determined to share every 

last bit of myself with my lover 

now, before it's too late. And . . .

why not be just as open with 

friends as well? 

Me thinks there's so little to lose 

and ever so much to gain . . .

so want to know me

ever learning my lessons

so want to know you