Dec 18, 2019

12/18/19

I find it both interesting and amusing
to look at the life I've lived from the
other end of the aging scale. Obviously,
I was never going to grow old, be older!
I was always going to be young . . . Still,
I see it happens in the best of families!
My mom used to say, "Me and my teen-
age husband . . . and you're not far
behind." I know what she meant about
the former, but not sure about the latter.
I am indeed older; i act older, some of
my ideas have changed and I see that
I am treated differently by some. There
is deference and there is condescension.
The first honors he who defers, the second
is vomitus any way you look at it. Sooooo,
now I need to have a look-see at how I am
feeling about my older self, how I am
treating this woman I never thought I would
be. Do I respect her? Tolerate her? Defend
her? Do I sin on the side of condescension?
Me thinks the answer has to do with creating
in myself a woman who deserves honor. I'm
working on that, ever growing . . .

who i want to be
growing up or just growing
striving to become

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