Dec 9, 2019

12/09/19

Getting a new tat brings pain to mind.
There are ever so many kinds. I deeply
recall the pain of childbirth and the joy
following. I will never forget the pain of
losing my father . . . never to heal, never
to be forgotten, simply a part of me now.
I am reminded of the pain and relief I felt
when my brother was finally granted the
peace of death. No one should suffer so
greatly! I know the pain I feel when I
realize the pain I have inadvertently
caused others. In looking at pain recalled
and remembered, I see they are mostly
emotional pain. So, where does that leave
me with tat pain that I brought on myself?!
I do know I'm not a masochist, so why the
need for the tats? For me, it's a kind of
returning to self. I lost me during the
caring for mom years. I lost me during
the unexpected ensuing grief and I must
find me again, ere I die! I've been so lost
of late . . . and I find that the tats are a
bit of a pathway back to me. I pray I find
me somewhere at the end of this pain.

they say pain is real
then why do we seek it so
my own confirms this

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