09/30/19

Today's the day! 'Tis the day
I begin to live in the now as I
promised myself. Funny how
today has 24 hours. Here I am
thinking that at 11:00, we travel
to see my niece; alas, I haven't
seen her in several years. So,
as it's 9:00 and I look forward
to seeing her at 1:00, does this
mean I'm not living in the now?
How far does this whole business
of living in the present go? You
hear the expression, "living in the
moment". How literal is that?
I need to have a look-see at how
far to take this business. As I tend
to take things to extremes, this is
going to take some serious thought.
What a difference a day makes!

living in the now
or living in the moment
have i lost all time

09/29/19

It seems to me that I regularly
address the entire yesterday/
today/tomorrow thing. The bad
part, as I am wont to say, is that
I tend to look left and right rather
than straight ahead. I'm ever
looking back, to either enjoy a
memory or to critique an arguable
action. And the future is there . . .
just like that old Ward's catalogue
from my childhood . . . paging,
looking, hoping, yearning . . .
and mostly never happening. If
not now, when am I going to begin
to address the present?! My new
year's resolution for my birthday,
as it were, is to get on the PRESENT
train and stay there!!! To hell with
the past and future!

down with yesterday
leaving tomorrow ever
longing for today

09/28/19

Friends are truly the gifts we give ourselves.
Rather makes me question why we bother
with any other kind. True friends know your
angsts, your sorrows, your overcomings and
your once in a while glories. They are the best
calorie-free box of chocolates you'll ever receive!
Of course, I love cards in the mail, that sweet
unexpected present, that perfect surprise . . .
But, I've come to realize that the gifts that truly
matter are along the lines of quality time spent
together, real words shared (lose the inanities!)
and quiet moments in which those real words
are completely unnecessary. I love growing older
(the hope of accruing wisdom never dies), but
I do think I'm coming to understand some of
those universal truths that once escaped me.
Pray, send me some wisdom in a box for my
birthday!

need to comprehend
a different kind of gift
pray enlighten me

09/27/19

Have you ever been hungry? So hungry
you don't even know exactly for what?
I find I'm ravenous of late. I search my
mind, hoping for a clue of what might
satisfy, suffice . . . a sunset at the beach,
a quiet walk in the woods, a sit down at
the canyon's edge, a long, intense talk
with my dearest friend. I'm terrified I'll
starve to death; the ache in my gut tells
me the deprivation is killing my soul. I
sit beside the deathbed, watching the
last hours of my famished heart, wishing
I'd had the courage to make different
choices at the gourmet banquet of life.
Alas, I die empty . . .

choices surround me
so longing to be sated
tis courage i lack

09/26/19

I think sometimes we momentarily
forget we have choices . . . a choice
to live rather than exist, a choice to
love rather than hate, a choice to be,
to actually BE! It drives me crazy that
I have to reach nigh onto 70 to be
reminded of these truisms! What the
hell? I'm old enough to know better!
I wish . . . to wake up each morning
and choose to be happy, to live, to
experience, to embrace joy! What has
it taken me so long to suss out this
truth?! I believe I will gift myself
these positive choices for my 70th.
High time I got on the happy train
and stopped messing around in my
own fears and tears . . .

a light in my dark
moments of true clarity
embracing happy

09/25/19

I had forgotten the pure joy of sitting by
the fire late into the night talking over
so many things . . . beliefs, sorrows,
tragedies, wonders, memories, hopes
and dreams. I often enjoy the marriage
of silence and fire, but the words simply
stumbled out of my mouth unaided. We
used to call it . . . "Solving the world's
problems." Most likely, giving vent to
our own thoughts, saved the day for us.
I have so miss you . . . missed us . . .
when will I see you again?

a gift from the gods
the wonder of a bestie
ever so grateful

09/24/19

Anticipation has to be one of the greatest
feelings ever known to mankind! My bestie
from yesteryear is flying in this afternoon
for her early celebration of my 70th. I can
hardly wait to see her! This got me to
thinking about the word itself; anticipation.
We look forward to ever so many things . . .
a birth, that much needed raise, the arrival
of summer, a special dinner invite. And, in
thinking about said word, this makes me
realize that anticipation adds a great deal
of pleasure to those things long awaited.
Me thinks I'm going to start paying more
attention . . . anticipation many surprises!

anticipation
longing for my surprises
i can hardly wait

09/23/19

How I love to read . . . to study . . . to learn!
I find myself wishing to pour out my gratitude
to those wondrous authors who have enriched
my life! I worship at their feet; alas, they will
never know. I can still remember as a kid, my
goal was to read all the books ever written.
When I came to understand the impossibility
of my dream, I was beyond heartbroken. So
many years, I read a book a day and loved
every minute of it. I'm enough of a purist that
I don't consider my work on the computer as
reading. Still, I am beyond grateful for the
written word. Blessings and thanksgiving to
my teachers, amazing writers and those
glorious fields of study!

give me books and books
for tis storytelling time
let us read and read

09/22/19

I admit that in hearing the news,
reading the newspapers, listening
to tales told out of school, it's easy
to dwell on the negative. In fact, it
can be quite scary! Then you have
a day like yesterday where friends
gather and you're lucky enough to
be invited. The guitarist is divine,
the band and singer amazing, the
food abundant and delish . . . and
above all, the people are phenomenal.
Once again, my faith in people is
restored; the world may not be such
a bad place after all.

my heart often hurts
so love me some good people
need the reminder

09/21/19 - Mabon, Second Harvest

I sin on the side of loving summer
more than autumn . . . still, there
may be no greater beauty in this
world of ours than fall colors, apple
cider and campfires with friends. In
the Pagan world, today marks the
first day of autumn and the sabbat
Mabon. In it, we honor yet another
cycle of the seasons lasting six weeks.
In fall, we grasp onto the last vestiges
of summer and the remembrance that
family gatherings such as Thanksgiving
await us. I find myself nostalgic for
summer already, but I'll hoist a glass
of spiked cider and toast our upcoming
celebrations. Here's to hearth and home,
family and friends: happy Mabon!

come join the campfire
tis a bit chilly today
so lets huddle up

20 de septiembre del 2019.-

De verdad que hoy es un día difícil. Marca
el aniversario en el cual el amor de mi vida
pasó por los portones de perla. Tantos la
quisimos, muchos la adoramos, demasiados
la necesitaban . . . entonces, porqué los
que dioses la tuvieron que llevar? Se supone
que estamos aquí en este mundo malvado
para traer un poco de luz a la obscuridad.
Todos haces lo que podemos . . . pero
ella? Ella era un cielo de estrellas y luna
llena, brillando su gloria y esperanza . . .
Ha de ser que los dioses estaban celosos
y la llevaron de pura envidia! Pasan los
años de su ausencia y jamás la olvidaré.
Jamás!!!

extraño su luz
existimos sin ella
pero no vivimos

09/19/19

I find myself reminiscing of all things
maternal; my mother, me as mother
to my children, my own daughter
mothering her sons . . . I awoke from
slumber with these thoughts niggling
at my brain. I obviously wondered why
and then it occurred to me . . . it had
to be because I had just visited my
mother's home of yesteryear. What
an amazing woman she was too. Born
in a tiny burg and educated there, she
nonetheless left home at 18 to go to
college in the big city. 'Twas WWII era
and a boarding room to be found. No
question of a car, had to walk to and
from the college every day as well as
working every available hour at the
local five and dime. Did I say amazing?
I recognize that I've had some struggles
in my own life, but I look at my mother,
a childhood of poverty, her insistence
of an education at any cost . . . and yet,
none of this compares to her enormously
difficult adulthood. I find I am humbled
and truly grateful for the sacrifices she
made for our family. Wow! What a woman!

been thinking of late
hats off to moms everywhere
mine is first in line

09/18/19

Me thinks daughters may be the gods loveliest
gift to we mothers! Obviously, our sons as well,
but for today . . . my daughters are on my mind
I am blest to be spending some time with my
own sweet girl this week. And, although I share
my other two with their mothers, I find myself
missing them. One of my dreams for my 70th
birthyear is to have all three of them together
for a ladies only celebration. Might be fun to see
just how naughty we can be! So glad I get
to be a bad influence on them before I go to my
unrest! Sooooo, here's to those wondrous women
I am fortunate enough to have in my life. Pray
think of me every time you are being wicked;
my hat's off to you . . . you mischievous three!

naughty awaits us
gals lets have some fun
yearning to be bad

09/17/19

Let's hear it for silence . . . now there's
an oxymoron if I've ever heard one!
Like it or not, we live in an era of . . .
"We need to communicate more. Let's
talk it out. What I really meant was . . . "
Perhaps, we need to hark back to that
time honored truth, "Silence is golden!"
Clearly, there is absolutely naught wrong
with talking, with stating, with making an
all out effort to understand one another.
But in thinking about it, perhaps that's
overdone. What would be wrong with
listening more than talking? Is there no
virtue left in the quiet? And/or, have we
mistaken chatter for real communication?
I've said before, "I'm the most unbalanced
libra I've ever know." Still, I suspect this
is all about balance. If we find ourselves
incapable of quieting down, perhaps we
could still make a stab at listening more
than blathering on and on.

communication
hearing speaking listening
all part of the whole

09/16/19

The morning of the day after . . .
any morning, after any day . . .
it's tantalizing to mull over the
memories created. It's delicious
to revel in the remembering.
Don't give into reinventing, to
re-thinking, to, "Oh I wish I had
done that," or, "That might have
worked better." Just enjoy what
was, rather than give into what
might have been. The day was
good. Let it be!

learning my lessons
will i ever get it right
its never too late

09/15/19

In reading Buddhist quotes of late,
I was particularly struck by this one:

"Be where you are; otherwise
you will miss your life." ~Buddha

Pondering this sentiment, it occurs
to me that I tend to live from holiday
to holiday, from special occasion to
special occasion. I'm not truly present
on an ordinary day, I'm simply getting
ready for the next celebration. There
is food to be prepped, rooms to be
cleaned, invites to put together, etc.
Heaven forbid I should simply enjoy
the sun rise on a given day, pay
attention to that special phone call or
thrill over the pages of my book of
choice. It's all about what's happening
on the morrow. Obviously, I'm not a
Buddhist, but I would like to learn to
living in the now before having to learn
to live in Never, Never Land. I would
like to learn to enjoy those precious
moments in present time. I pray I
learn how before it's too late. Well,
I must away . . . have to sweep
before the gals arrive this morning . . .

forgetting to live
tis feeling hopeless i am
must learn to enjoy

09/14/19

Saturday the 14th, morning of the day after . . .
I find it amazing how the morning of the day
after is always a bit of a let down. One looks
and watches with such gusto for an arriving
date or event. It finally arrives . . . and such
joy! Such joy!!! The next day, one is indeed
filled with memories, chuckles and those aha
moments . . . but the loss of it all being over
is discernible. Nothing will impair the joy I
found in celebrating the long-awaited-for
Friday the 13th. Still, I find myself missing
something today . . .

always looking back
delicate things memories
leaning towards forward

​09/13/19, Friday the 13th . . .

 . . . has finally arrived. My kind have
long awaited its arrival since we last
enjoyed this phenomenon in October
of 2000. In this new millennia, we have
already experienced many special dates
from the monthly joys of the new and full
moons, to the vast sorrows of Nine Eleven,
to the true Coming of Womanhood as we
are appreciating it today. For eons, it seems
that Friday the 13th has resonated in the
minds of the people as a time of bad luck,
and with that mindset, I imagine it is.
Nonetheless, the number thirteen is nothing
shy of pure magick. 'Tis a date in which to
buy that special lotto ticket, ask that lovely
goddess out on a first date, enjoy all those
devious machinations the Universe has in
store for us. Fear not! Simply bask in the
surprise party that awaits us . . . for 'tis a
long, long wait until the next Friday the
13th in 2049! And, If I live to be a hundred,
I'll be there!

has been a long wait
gather ye all magicians
lets party hearty

09/12/19

Me thinks I've painted myself into a corner;
sooooo, where do I go from here?! I survey
my surroundings, look to see if by some
miracle there's any way out. Alas, there are
no hand holds, no windows and superman
doesn't seem to be coming any time soon.
I pray, I swear, I scream, I dream . . . but
nothing seems to work. How long can I keep
standing in my corner? I'm so tired, so worn
out and hope is fleeting. If only I could sleep
for a little while, but I'm fearful of letting go.
If I can just stay awake a little while longer,
maybe help will come.

awake or dreaming
must be that thing of nightmares
so afraid to sleep

09/11/19

Today is that day in our personal
histories, a day of such vast sorrow
from which we will never recover,
nor ever forget. Each of us can say
without hesitation, where we were
when the horror erupted, drowning
our very souls. The awe of that initial
moment left us open-mouthed,
speechless, paralyzed in disbelief.
Our minds simply could not assimilate
a reality in which the Dean Koontz and
Steven Kings of this world truly existed.
We cannot accept. We cannot believe.
We are forever changed. Pray history
does not repeat itself.

tis beyond belief
our horrors notwithstanding
the stuff of nightmares

09/10/19

Reminiscing through my own poetry of
yesteryear . . . I found myself inundated
with sorrow, no longer having the courage
to face life and longing for death with the
peace I believed it would offer me. Only
the vast love for my children kept me alive.
Today, I suffer immensely from SADS and
winter forces me to draw courage from the
depths of my being. Now, i bow in thanksgiving
that somehow I survived. The love I have for
my own is now coupled with a deep respect
for the people they have chosen to become.
I look at them, the battles they have faced,
sallied forth and conquered . . . and they
lead the way for my continued living, winter
or not . . . there are simply no words . . .
Bless you and bless you again!

how i love mine own
those children gifts from the gods
how do i give thanks
 - - -

Balada de Una Suicida

Caminé por mi desierto al amanecer

A paso velós y sonrisa alegre.

“Tengo sed, compañero,” le dije con afán.

“Dame del agua que traes ahí.”

“Esta agua,” me dijo a mí, “No es para dar.

No la sé servir y no la sé tomar.”

Y lentamente la derramó

A las arenas del desierto en frente de mí.

Caminé por mi desierto al medio día

A paso lento pero fas serena.

“Tienes vino tinto, dame a mí.”

Le dije ante alegre bohemio que encontré ahí.

“Bella Dama, puedes coger la botella,

Más ya la he compartido y mucho no le queda.

Al fin y al cabo me la has de devolver

Porque familia tengo y la he de mantener.”

Cogí la botella, saborié su olor

Acaricié su forma y deseé su sabor.

Más en hora buena recordé su deber

Y aún sedienta, se la devolví.

Caminé por mi desierto al atardecer

Con paso vacilante y mirada vacante.

“Tengo sed,” susuré al patriarca digno,

“Sálvame os ruego, que me desmayo, me muero!”

“Tengo champaña para tal noble reina.

Será de Vuestra Merced, os lo juro, lo juro!”

En copa de plata, incado con respeto,

Me sirvió la bebida, perlas de vida.

Temblorosa la bebí, restaurada, salva al fin.

Sabor sin par, colirio para mi alma,

Musité al instante, “Os amo, os adoro.”

Y dichosa de delirio, se me resbaló la botella.

Caminé por mi desierto a la media noche.

Desmayada por momentos, llorando mi pena.

“Mi árido desierto, fiel amigo mío,

Me entrego a tí, me muero sedienta!”

~Linda-Dale Jennings,

6 febrero 1986

09/09/19

so love me some of those early
morning gifts of the gods . . .
the sun leaking in my windows,
the first bird chirpings, the odd
flutter of a butterfly, the turning
over in bed for a snuggle . . .
and that wondrous promise of a
new day, new beginnings, new
opportunities, even new failings
 . . . and yes, the chance to begin
again on the morrow. I adore old.
If it's not at least 120 years old,
I'm not interested . . . but still,
those new early mornings are
indeed without par!

needing me some new
promise of another day
hope for we naughties

09/08/19

'Tis my last day on solitary (skip that
confinement part). I've enjoyed it . . .
had forgotten just how amazing solo
time could be. Add in the surprise
visited upon me by friends yesterday
afternoon and we're talking perfection.
And now, I'm longing to see my lover's
face. Sometime life can be absolutely
P E R F E C T !!!

life is a secret
so just waiting to happen
whisper in my ear

09/07/19

Living in the mountains in a 120 year old
cabin has its complexities and issues. Alas,
mice are perennial, but can be dealt with;
it just takes time. But this time, I have a
pesky chipmonk. I've been live-trapping
him for three days, to no avail. He saunters
in, helps himself to a nice supper and
slithers right on out through the wires. I'm
so angry with him, his chutzpah . . . I toss
treats to our surrounding animalia every
single day . . . but NO, that's not enough
for this guy . . . his sole mission in life is
to drive me even crazier than I already am.
I give up! I surrender!! I'm moving out!!!
Help!!!

yes loving nature
yes adoring mother earth
no not in my house

09/06/19

I've been gifted with a day on my own.
I find myself thinking, "What shall I do?"
I ponder the menu of plausible activities
and nigh onto drown in them. I want to
do them all . . . sans carriage . . . I find
I'm overwhelmed, can't think, decisions . . .
too much work. Me thinks I need therapy.
Want to come on over and sit under the
tree with me?

my own day to play
i simply cannot decide
pray send ideas

09/05/19

We've rested from our travels and
now it's time to sally forth and conquer.
Alas, there are bills to be paid, groceries
to be purchased, errands to be run . . .
and worst of all . . . a visit to the bank
(to find out if there are any funds left!)
Too much work and more than a tad scary.
Me thinks I'll just stay home and eat green
beans with apple jelly as that seems to be
the only things left in the larder!

never want to leave
do so love my hearth and home
not leaving ever

09/04/19

'Tis always amazing to me, no matter
how glorious the mini-vay, it's ever
lovely to come home. My own be,
smaller though it may be, the noise of
traffic going by . . . and crème de la

crème, we had a bear last night. What

a glorious mess with the whole trash

debacle. Still, I'm home and all's right

with the world! Y'all are welcome any

time . . . you bring the beer and I'll

bring the wine!

theres no place like home

in your sweet arms i shall rest
dorothy and me

09/03/19

I feel as if we've been in a sort of adult

time out. We've eaten when we've felt

like it, drank our adult beverages, told

tales out of school, stayed up late and

slept in, searched for those precious

stones to take home as mementos and

generally been living the perfect fairy

tale. There's part of me that never wants

to go back and yet another that is ready

to go home. Go figure! Bottom line, our

souls are sated, our heads ache from

misbehaving and we will carry these

precious memories with us for the rest

of our days. Bless our children for a

bestest mini-vay ever!!!

fun and games to share

adore our adult children

see them in new light

09/02/19

'Twas just the tiniest slice of deep,
deep yellow near the horizon. Truly,
I've never seen anything like it. Our
entire troop stood in wonder before
her magnificence. I have to smile. I've
been watching our lunar lady for nigh
onto seventy years and I find I am
still undone by her timeless beauty.
Alas, it wasn't long until she slipped
away to bring joy to other dreamers.
What is it about this magic orb that
so moves us?! The world over, we all
await her, watch her, wish upon her,
depend on her nightly beauty . . .
a true gift of the gods.

majesty most royal
lady luna hear my cry
pray guard my secrets

09/01/19

Back on the road again . . . Willy and me!
We've traveled into the flatlands . . . an
entirely different world from the mountains
we're used to. They have their own beauty;
whereas the mountains are majestic, the
flatlands have a mystery all their own. The
winds blow, awakening those eerie feelings
of shivers down the spine. We've already
collected and washed a bag of interesting
stones . . . not something I had anticipated
doing. Standing in one spot, slowly turning
and turning, flatlands, waving grasses and
blue, blue sky as far as the eye can see. I
feel ever so small and inconsequential. 'Tis
enlightening and thrilling all at the same
time. Today, as some of the clan ride, I
think I'll indulge in a tad of red and bask
in the wonder of it all.

tis timeless beauty
as far as the eye can see
tears steal down my cheeks