12/31/2020

I know we're all hoping and praying that

tonight will bring, not only an ending to

2020, but a new beginning in 2021 . . .

Literally and otherwise!

The logistics are there, tried and true, but

it doesn't mean we'll awaken to a plague

free world, or violence will have ended,

or all have secure jobs and happy families.

Must mean, somehow, that it's up to us

to make 2021 a better place to be. I don't

actually think I'm talking about New Year's

Resolutions . . . It's more about the DOING

rather than just the SAYING.

Donations to the tried and true? I don't 

think so. Certainly, wonderful charities

never have enough shekels . . . but, what

about the family down the street with

children and no jobs for six months? A

couple of bags of groceries on their

doorstep, perhaps? What about the old gal 

across the street who has had no visitors 

lo these many moons? Bet a sweet note

and a bundle of flowers would make her

day.

Yes, I want to be a better person in 2021,

but me thinks the important part is getting

off my ass and doing all that would actually

make me a better person . . .

heres to the doing

time to get down to business

enough of saying 

12/30/2020

Today awaits, with all its promise of  

plans and upcoming events. There will 

be the usual . . . the planning for New 

Year's Eve, cleaning house, laying in 

stores. Obviously, there can't be a proper 

celebration, the plague has seen to that . . . 

Nonetheless, it is customary to prepare 

for the upcoming year.

Tonight is a full moon, the Cold Moon,

as it happens. I like the idea that the 

year ends on a full moon and begins its

demise the following day. Significant

somehow. 

So, what's the meaning of all this? A

full moon, one year ending, another

soon to begin, resolutions to be made.

I do tend to read into things, so why

not make it work for me?!

That's me, always looking for that new

beginning to urge me onto bigger and

better things. Wish I didn't need them,

but why not use them when they come

around?!

So, tonight whilst I honor the full moon,

I will ponder this up and coming new

year and what I wish to achieve . . . 

Here's praying for the wisdom and strength 

to uphold my own promises . . .

lunar lady love

pray hear my plegarias 

send much needed strength

12/29/2020

"Within every woman there is a wild 

and natural creature, a powerful force,

filled with good instincts, passionate

creativity and ageless knowing. Her

name is Wild Woman, but she is an

endangered species."

~Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Boning up on my Clarissa Pinkola Estés

of late. I love her sense of passion and

urgency. Rather makes me want to get

my boots on. On the other hand, booting

up can easily tire me out to the point I

just want to sit back down again.

Still, she leaves me pondering; the new

year is upon us, after all. Not sure what

to ask . . . the age old, "Who do I want  

to be when I grow up?" Or, "What do I 

want to work on this year?"

As I'm beginning to lose hope with the

whole growing up bit, 'praps I'd better 

be thinking about what to work on. 

There's always the losing weight bit as

well as the cutting down on the drinks.

But, that's not the kind of work I'm

talking about. 

I want to be real, to be me, never any

cover up. I want to grow, grow every

day, and never give up . . .

so need my courage

this old dame learning to be

challenge after all

12/28/2020

Here's to those pesky 'in between days'.

A holiday sandwich if you will . . .

The bread, Christmas and New Years,

the filling, the days in between.

I find myself thinking I should clear up

the leftover x-mas mess . . . And then

I think, it'll just get messy again at New

Years. Better wait 'til after.

So, what to do with the 'tweeners' as I'm

wont to call them?! Thank you notes . . .

Right! I'll get right on that. Or, take the 

x-mas packages to the post office . . . 

You know, the ones you were too lazy 

to stand in line for an hour to send. Me 

thinks the cabin could do with a good 

clean; start the new year out right!

But, I'm too tired from the holidays!

Maybe those 'twixt and 'tween days are

meant for a sack out and rest period.

Watch those holiday movies you missed

whilst getting ready for x-mas. Snack on

the leftovers. Might be a good idea to 

face the new year rested!

need to get busy

wishing for some sack out time

do it tomorrow

12/27/2020

Interesting how we've only just had the

x-mas holidays and still one begins to

think about the new year. Guess there's

nothing wrong with that; lot's to think

about really!

Where do I go from here? What do I

want to accomplish next year? What

do I intend to strive for? Who do I 

want to be when I grow up? Does any

of this even matter?

Funny the thoughts that pop into one's

head when thinking about serious things.

Of course, all of this matters! I imagine

our choices are limited as the world

around us determine a great deal of the

outcomes. 

I'm not talking predestination, just those

pesky little deets like . . . "I can't decide

if I should go for groceries today or

tomorrow." And then you learn that

there's an accident in front of your home

at exactly the time you would have left.

So, here's to pondering . . . going to do

some thinking for a couple of days and

answer my own questions. I want, nay

NEED, for 2021 to be different from

2020.

its all about new

new year ideas chances

a new me perhaps

12/26/2020

Aa a child, Christmas Eve was for getting

our new undies. Christmas Day was for

that one special toy and eating the best

feast of the year. Then came the morning

of the day after, as it were.

We were expected to help with a bit of

Christmas clean up and we all enjoyed

the Christmas feast leftovers. But, the day

itself was spent playing with our new

toys.

New toys, new escenarios, imaginations

running high . . . can't get any better

than that. Now, as an elder, I love

experiencing that joy through the eyes

of the grandchildren. Rather adds to

the whole reminiscing thing!

Speaking of reminiscing, how do those

days of yesteryear apply to today?! Me

thinks for starters that we'd do well to

somehow keep hold of that childish jo.

It's such a shame that we tend to lose

it as we age.

So, here's wishing you joys, NOT joy.

I wish you the joy of living rather than

existing. I wish you the joy of love

rather than like. I wish you the joy of

sharing rather than having. Life, real

life, is here for the taking . . . let's do

some taking!!!

remember to live

loving me the gift of life

alas, we forget

12/25/2020 - Christmas Day

Me thinks everybody loves Christmas.

Well, maybe Scrooge would give it a

miss, but not likely anyone else.

I've loved watching our young families

in the midst of such joy. One of the gals

starts buying her gifts little by little right

after Thanksgiving. Talk about being in

the spirit!

The family invests in toys, and I do mean 

invests. Wow! They could run their own

toy store. You should watch the glee on

the faces of the grandchildren. I do find

it quite touching.

I find myself much moved by our uncle

in residence. He must have spent a month

of Sundays searching for those perfect

gifts. He's then great at explaining them

to the kids, putting the toys together

and playing with them afterwards.

For me, it's all in the watching. I feel a

part of the family, it's just that looking

on this amazing scene is quite moving.

There truly is love, joy, sharing, just

like it's supposed to be at Christmas.

merry merry us

so brings out the glee in me

love our family

12/24/2020

We were driving down the road, minding

our own business, when all of a sudden . . .

I spied a pizza joint. Me thinks I squealed

like little kid on a mission. My guy pulls 

up a bit sharply and says, "What the hell

is the matter?" 

When I suggested, nay demanded, that 

we pull on in, I'm not sure whether he 

was amused or annoyed! Bottom line, 

we went in and ordered . . . absolutely 

the best pizza  either one of us had ever

tasted. It can truly pay to go to those 

small unknown places . . . all under the

guise of being supportive, of course!

After the silence that ensues culinary

contentment, burning of the mouth, 

and consuming way too many slices, 

we fell into conversation about what 

had happened. We grinned, getting

a kick out of doing a bit of the crazy. 

I say, "Bring on the nuts!!!"

Bottom line, we decided we're going 

to do a whole lot more of that in the

near future. There's an old tavern on

the way to our daughter's . . . we've

always sworn we're going to stop

there. That may just be the next

installment; SPONTANEITY 2021!

spice up the dreary

try some naughty on for size

enjoyment ahoy

12/23/2020

I'll admit I've had some down days this

winter, even though winter has only just

begun. So, I turned to a wondrous book

a girlfriend of mine gave me, Fear Not. 

It's a sweet little tome, but what makes 

it rather beyond amazing is that she went

through the book and wrote comments

on almost every page. Example:

"You gain strength, courage and 

confidence by every experience 

in which you really stop to look

fear in the face. You are able to 

say to yourself, 'I have lived 

through this horror. I can take the 

next thing that comes along'. You

must do the thing you think you 

cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt                                                                                                                   

"Your strength has gotten you 

through so much". ~Alice

I like the book and so appreciate the

much needed advice . . . but, it's her own

sweet words that cheer me every time!!!

Let's think outside the box when it comes

to presents this unbelievable 2020. Share 

a gift from your own home. Write a much

needed letter of encouragement. Bake 

something. Make that phone call you've 

been putting off for so long. 

No need to hit the mall! 'Tis that personal

touch that means so much just now.

whats under the tree

looking for encouragement 

pray its what i need

12/22/2020

Alas, 'tis morning of the day after . . .

and I awoke with sweet memories of

yesterday and the question, "What

happens now?"

At 7:00, we're off to the dealership to

spend 8 hours while they fix my car

in a recall. My bones are already sore

in the thinking of sitting around for

the requisite time.

I suggested we walk to our fave café

and drink margs all day. Somehow, my

guy didn't think that was a good idea.

Now, isn't this the same man that

opened a bottle of champagne at o' dark 

thirty yesterday morn by the fire? Gasps

aside, I'm glad there's someone in the 

family with their head on straight.

Sooooo, today is indeed the morning 

of the day after and life returns to what

passes for normal. 'Tis off to the dealer

we go, but we'll always have yesterday!

missing yesterday

morning of the day after

still have memories

p.s. I'll take another piece of yesterday,

please . . .

12/21/2020 Yule, Winter Solstice

Oh my God! Oh my God!! Oh my God!!!

At o' dark thirty this morning, my guy

awakens me and asks me to come down

stairs. Half stumbling around in the dark,

I had to comply. Magick was afoot after

all!

I sleepily wend my way down the stairs

and find a fire,  candles, and champagne!

As I truly awaken, he raises his glass to

me, to Yule, to the Winter Solstice. I know,

there is NOT another man in the Universe

his equal! 

Many think of Yule as just another  holiday

and a Pagan equivalent to Christmas. Rightly

known, Yule came first, a holiday to celebrate

the lengthening of days. What do I mean by

that? Today is the shortest day of the year!

This marks the beginning of the return of

light. 

Each day, from now on, will incrementally

elongate and begin that long journey into

Spring, three months from now. This truly

helps, especially feeling the way I do about 

Winter!

I raise my glass, salute my man . . . 

Let the light begin!!!

longing for the light

trudging through the cold the snow

pray bring down the light

12/20/2020

five four three two one . . .

swore

he

would never

hit her 

again

seems

he 

just couldn't

help himself

suffering 

at the hands

of his rage

this time

she's gone

murderer

*Dedicated to my sisters

suffering in silence

12/19/2020

Memory issues most interesting . . .

Obviously, I recall perfectly that I lost

approximately 17% of my memory when

I fainted and cracked my skull open at

o' dark 30 three years ago. But, this is

a tad different. Me thinks this is aging

at its best!

What I find a bit amusing is how my

guy and I spin off of each other with

the memory issues. It simply seems

that I recall what he has forgotten 

and he what I have left behind. You'd

laugh if you could see us taking turns

down memory lane.

He'll say, 'I don't remember where xyz

is.' and I'll tell him exactly where to go

and how to get there. Next time, I'm

clueless and he straightens me out just

perfectly. Can't help but wonder if the

gods matched us up in the whole sharing

of memory thing.

We get quite a kick at looking back at

when we had the same caregiver, dear

old Grandma Bruchner, at 3 and 4 years

of age. Shyest of friends in elementary, 

and our first kiss  at 14. Perhaps it was 

in the stars for us to bring our wondrous 

offspring into this dreary world and 

reconnect at 50.

Will wonders never cease . . . 21 years

together on January 1st. Wow!

sing me a sweet song

not certain ill remember

let the chords ring out

12/18/2020

I find it both interesting and hilarious

how we're retired and we still keep 

to that old working schedule . . .

Still shower at o' dark thirty, still go 

to bed early so I can get up and go 

to work, still observe all the holidays 

with their allotted breaks as if I were 

still teaching.

What's the issue here? Is it that habits 

are ingrained to the point that they 

can't be broken? Is it that it's easier to 

follow an old time honored schedule? 

Me thinks I'd better sign me up for  

a new me in 2021. Or if not new, 

perchance a bit of a makeover is 

warranted. Not bloody likely I'll

start going to the gym any time 

soon or eat a whole lot healthier.

Having said that,  I do want to add 

some spice to this interesting life 

I'm living.

Perhaps a couple of new recipes, 

an added piece to my all black

wardrobe, a short trip down south.

Bet these could count as a bit of

salt and pepper.

needs me a new dish

a bit tired of the old

ever so hungry

 

12/17/2020

Sooooo fun . . . my x-mas pressies arrived 

this a.m. from my man . . . oh such delight!

CDs from all his fave Country Western 

Singers; obviously, I've learned to enjoy

them nigh onto as much. After all, I did  

go to see Marty Robbins; I was barely 

weened from the breast!!! . . . not that I

was ever was breast fed . . .

Love me some Kenny Rodgers; so like

Waylon Jennings . . . long, lost relative

that he may be! So enjoy Charlie Pride

and much lament his recent passing. 

I could even summon up some well

mustered 'like' for John Denver though

I hated him for wife beating! Bottom

line, he got his in the end; isn't that 

enough?!

Every now and then, the gods grant one

an incredible morning like this one . . .

alas, there are women who will never,

ever know the glory of one's lover

inviting them to a fire, westerns, and

margs morning! What a guy! Can I

please keep him?!

music fire and margs

no better combination

come join the naughty

12/16/2020

X-mas vacay a la naughty . . .

It's actually kind of fun, living in a 

130 year old tiny, tiny cabin, on half

retirement, at 70 years old. Wow! 

Sooooo, we play with ideas, dig into 

non-existent funds and simply have fun!

And my guy and I know just how to 

have a good time with almost anything!

Grab a picnic and go to the park, take a

drive up the mountains, walk main street,

hit a second hand store for oddities, see

an old movie in bed with a glass of vino

in hand. All good fun and doesn't cost

an arm and a leg. 

I've always gotten a kick out of trying 

on small shoes for size. You can dance

just as well and it's not a problem. So, I

love reminding myself that hitting three

different restaurants for a three course

meal can be entertaining. Thee different

pubs on a trip to the mountains and just

one drink at each place; fun and cheap!

So no, not going to Europe anytime 

soon. Canada isn't an option just now,

nor is Mexico for that matter . . . but

we are going to enjoy those small 

bursts of flavor, no matter what. In 

fact, if you've a mind to, come and

join us at some point. I make a mean

Mexican meal and you can bring the

beer.

learning to enjoy

life at its absolute best

having so much fun

12/15/2020

My entire life I have loved reading.

There simply isn't anything like it.

The heft of the current read, the 

scent of both new and old pages, 

the adoration of a fave author, and

the anticipation one experiences as

the book comes to an end.

Another bit of fun comes when the

movie of a beloved book comes out.

Of course the movie can never, ever

live up to the book; that's a given!

Still, fun to compare and even bitch

about it a bit.

Then, once in a great while, there

are movies that actually live up to 

the books we love. That's a whole 

new kind of delicious. I always 

like to read the book first and then

take in the movie. Then in turn, 

I'm inspired to read the book all 

over again!

I pay homage to all phenomenal 

authors and bow to those who can

actually equate the book on film.

tell me a story

one i long to see and hear

joy in the pages

12/14/2020

As Christmas draws nigh, I am reminded

of certain practices my family had. For

one thing, we got one essential gift of

new undies and one fun gift, and that was

all. The fun gift for me was a new doll.

I was expected to give my old doll away. 

If my old doll wasn't kept as nice as the

new doll, then I had to give away the new

doll and keep the old. I really don't recall

ever having to give away my new doll,

but I knew the score.

I remember visiting a little girl to whom

I had gifted my old doll. The doll was

filthy, hairless and had been written on

with an ink pen. Being all of 5 or 6, I

was beyond stunned. I took the doll in

my arms and simply sobbed. The family

just looked at me, not understanding

what was going on with me.

It occurs to me, for all my trying to grow,

that we tend to be who we are from birth.

I haven't changed a great deal over the

years. I still like to take great care with

my treasures . . . as most adults do. I still

enjoy giving and sharing my treasures.

And, I imagine I'd be rather amazed if the

other person didn't love my treasures as

much as I did.

Aren't we all just the funniest creatures

E V E R !!!

just remembering

trees presents decor galore

feel a bit somber 

12/13/2020

It has been said, "That with which you

fill your mind, is who you will become."

I'm thinking! I'm thinking!

So, what do I read? I have a small library

of about 450 or 500 books on all things

spiritual. Pantheism, in different categories, 

dominates. This would be what I read for 

spiritual growth.

I also have a fictional library of roughly

7,000 books that, per se, are all about

intrigue. Add to that, my extensive DVD 

library is virtually the same . . . Is that 

nicely disguised for murder mysteries?!

In discussing nightmares of late, I got to

thinking . . . perhaps reading and watching

the mayhem of who done its, contributes

to my nightmares. Something to think

about. But, as I much enjoy mysteries, 

I really wouldn't want to give them up.

What a conundrum . . . but at least I'm

being honest with myself! And I would

say, as I spend several hours a day in

spiritual studies, me thinks enjoying 

a bit of intrigue brings a nice balance.

Bet I could talk myself into anything!

call an ace an ace 

tis just me being crazy

loony bins await

12/12/2020

Alas, a dose of reality . . .

We're all thinking that 2021 will magically

erase and replace this most difficult year

of 2020. In reality, no such thing is going

to happen. We'll go to bed on New Year's

Eve, perhaps even wake up a tad hung over.

Having said that, New Year's Day is simply

'the next day'!

If indeed any changes are to occur, they

need to come from us, from within, from

a desire for different outcomes. Change 

our outlooks, our actions, our patterns. I'm

making an effort trying to think out what

I want to keep and what I wish to discard.

Me thinks I'll keep my love, sometimes hate,

relationship with life. Same goes for the 

amazing joy I find in my children and besties.

Still want to have some fun with the delicious

side of retirement. (Pray forgive me, trying

to have a positive attitude here!) And please,

please God, let me stay healthy a tad longer!

Now comes bin time . . . so ready to let go

of a few more pounds. Need to lose that ole

negative attitude that sometimes creeps in.

Be a good idea if I could learn to live within

my means . . . may not be bloody likely

though! I suppose I'd be more than happy

to take my leave of those pesky secret sins.

Bottom line, the thing I would like most

would be to accept myself as I am . . .

as well as be a good sport about anything

2021 can bring.

so many questions

still learning all those lessons

much needs me some peace

12/11/2020

Me thinks what I most love about

retirement is the breaking of all the

rules . . .

When you're young, breaking the

rules probably means something a

bit different. Sneaking out of the 

house, illicit parties, smoking in

secret (cigs or MJ), making out in

the bushes, unprotected sex . . .

For us, it's ice cream for breakfast,

mid-morning margaritas, dessert

first, four meals a day, skipping

the house cleaning, going to bed

at 6:30 p.m. and getting up at 2:00

a.m. for watching fave movies and

other activities . . .

Looking square in the face of our

rebellion, looks like it's probably

a lot safer than the ole teenage

naughties! I'll have to see if I can

come up with a few more . . .

just color me bad

so enjoying my naughties

straight not an option

12/10/2020

Those bits of yesteryear floating to

the surface; I find myself missing

these pieces to the puzzle of my life . . .

– Daddy, hero of heroes! Still talk to 

him every day; swear, he's here with me.

– Sammy, little bro and cohort in crime.

I'm ever so glad he's at a much needed

and well deserved rest.

– Esther, great mom. Alas, me . . .

her nemesis. 

– First grade teacher, Mamie, recently 

lost to us. Much loved by all her kiddos. 

– Fellow teacher and one of my besties,

Doug. Miss his notes and music sharings.

– Sean Connery, my first love . . . 

and according to my guy, buried in the 

back yard.

These great losses, hard though they

may be, 'tis ever so wondrous that they 

are recalled in love.

perhaps gone in life

well remembered greatly missed

ever in my heart

12/09/2020

My moods don't

just swing - 

they bounce, pivot,

recoil, rebound,

oscillate, fluctuate

and occasionally

pirouette.

~oculusmundi

Me thinks this author has been

writing about me again! I used to

think of myself as a steady Eddie,

but in the sharing of myself, lo

these many years, it has become

apparent that I'm all over the place.

'Tis fascinating, amusing, scary, 

crazy, amazing, intriguing and a bit

beyond belief . . . this whole getting

to know me as an olde dame! Who

knew?! Trust me, clueless here!!!

Perhaps, it's our final assignment

to get to know ourselves before we

move onto whatever comes next.

I'm going to get right on this getting

to know me business . . .

"Hi! I'm Linda-Dale Jennings, and 

you? Really? ld? Now that's an

intriguing nickname. How did you

get that? Your cousin, Cathy, you

say?! Wow! Let's get acquainted!"

I did warn you; I'm a tad out there

in my elder years!

getting to know me

interesting savoir faire

have we met before

12/08/2020

Spent yesterday pm in line at the PO.

50 minutes . . . Part of the time I was

outside, six feet apart, and part of the

time inside. I was nearly fainting at

the end. The poor, overworked gal had

to bring me a chair. Umpteen packages 

and hundreds of shekels later, I was in

the car and thinking, "Surely, I'm 80

not 70! OK, 71 . . . "

So, back at packaging again today, I

have full intention of doing this next

year in NOVEMBER. Thank God,

the cards are out! Actually, I may just

do cards next year. I'm out of gifts to

share, shekels and especially energy.

'Tis time to remember what these

holidays are all about. From your

Christian beliefs to my Pantheist

creed, surely it's all about love and

sharing, family, friends and foe,

as well as neighbors, if you're lucky 

enough to have them.

Still, a lot of love and sharing going

on, does my heart good. I do regret 

it takes holidays for us to remember

what we're all about. Me thinks I'm

going to make an effort to honor my

creed months rather than weeks!

love this time of year

holiday spirit abounds

may it ever last 

12/07/2020

So loving the entwining scents that 

are currently surrounding us. Tea 

steeping on the stove, pine wafting 

from the living room, a minuscule 

whiff of smoke from the smoldering

fire, wax from the burning candles.

Scents and sense . . . wondrous!!!

My soul, flooded with memories, 

a kaleidoscope of familial joys and 

sorrows brought to the holiday table,

not to forget the taste of desolation

once the celebrations have ended. 

I love it all . . . weight gain from

holiday delicacies, the mess from

wrapping presents, the trips to the

post office for sending packages, 

disappointment countered by bliss 

and forget not that holiday cuppa 

hot, steamy and naughty. Salud!

I'm trying to remember, is this

what we refer to as holiday spirit?

I'm in . . . 

fave celebrations

loving me the holidays

mistletoe awaits

12/06/2020

Awaking from night terrors, shaking

so hard I'm afraid to go down the stairs.

What the hell?! Haven't I paid enough

for my sins already?! God in heaven,

such horror; where do I go from here?

Interesting, all the different stages one

goes through in life. I have my mom

to thank for the concept. I heard her

say again and again, 'It's only a stage;

it's only a stage.'  She may have begun

saying her adage in jest, but I think it

actually comforted her. Me thinks I 

need to adopt it.

Not to worry, I've lived through worse,

but I am curious as to where these

episodes, (affectations?!) come from.

No, I haven't been drinking. No drugs,

no strange foods, plenty of sleep . . .

Maybe, it's a subconscious fear of

dying. Who the hell knows . . .

live exist dream die

pray tell what is the meaning

paying for my sins

12/05/2020

Obviously, we are all assailed with

doubts from time to time. Doubts

about self-worth, what we've done

with our lives, accomplished or not.

What have our lives meant?!

And then, a visit to my firstborn . . .

Oh what a lovely lad! A beautifully

maintained home, art in the works,

wondrous conversation! An offer 

of drink and something to eat . . . 

and suddenly, all is well.

Realization that indeed I have done

something right, so right that naught

else can compare. How I thank the

on high for my children. They ne'er

disappoint and I am blest.

Why, oh why, these doubts? These

questions? How easily one forgets

that as long as life is within, all is

well . . .

yes necessary

sorrow needs be doesnt it

does comfort await

12/04/2020

Sometimes I get wrapped up in this 

notion of what it must be like to be

normal. Alas, has never happened

in my case.

Not to worry, I prefer myself as I am,

even as the fucked up mess I seem

to be. Having said that, I peek over

the fence from time to time, and do

wonder.

Amazing women, coping with life

as if it were no match for their skills.

Dressed to the nines, professional,

charging straight ahead with no

hesitation. I find myself wondering

what it must be like?!

I also recognize that I was indeed

this woman during my 41 years of

teaching. There was also the 'me

within' wondering who that woman

really was.

The term Libra comes to mind, an

actual fear that my scales will never

ever be balanced . . .

the woman i was

she will never be again

hello new lady

"I didn't belong as a kid, and that always

bothered me. If only I'd known that one

day my differentness would be an asset,

then my early life would have been much

easier." ~Bette Midler

12/03/2020

I heard a rumor once . . . 

When you grow older, you grow

'moreso' . . . And, here's me thinking 

that well may be the case.

Went to bed at 6:30 last night for no 

other reason than it had been a trying

day. Woke up about 1:30 a.m. and my

guy suggested we watch a movie. That

would have been weird enough, but 

then he slipped downstairs and came

back with margaritas! Got a kick out

of the movie, enjoyed the margs and

then went back to sleep and awoke

rested.

Sometimes we sit by the fire at odd

hours. We eat ice cream for breakfast

and granola for supper. We don't leave

the cabin for weeks on end and then

we'll take a drive just to enjoy the 

changing season beauty.

If reincarnation turns out to be true,

I want to come back retired and 70!

Am sooooo loving it . . .

work money bills kids 

so been waiting for aging

wanna dance with me

12/02/2020

Somewhere 'twixt and 'tween the plague,

the cold and snow, and my own laziness

when it comes to getting out, me thinks

I'm well on my way to becoming a hermit!

Truly, the cabin is a seductress! It's tiny

and cozy, wrapped up in fresh snow and

our lowest temp yet, 7 degrees. This

antique bed is still a bit too delish for 

me to leave it, but when I do, sitting in 

front of the fire might be a good idea.

Next to the fire place is a large window

through which we can watch those

winter birds that don't migrate. They

much enjoy the bird feeder and give us

a great view. Sun glistens through the

4 and 5 foot ice cycles as they slowly

drip away their existence.

I would be the first to acknowledge

that I have issues with Winter. Having

said that, today is so beautiful I could

almost forgive Mr. Sun for leaving us

for a while . . .

beauty in winter

its ever so cold just now

a high price to pay

12/01/2020

Like a little kid, I feared December

would never arrive . . . and I want

that child within to celebrate an

amazing month! . . . or maybe I'd

better say, the ADULT in me!

A month you say?! Just think, we 

have a new moon on the 14th. Let's

learn about and celebrate Saturnalia 

on the 17th. There's Yule eve on the

20th and Yule on the 21st. And a

fave holiday awaits with Christmas

eve on the 24th, x-mas on the 25th.

Kwanzaa on the 26th and our full

moon on the 30th . . . and wrapping

up in style . . . New Year's eve on

the 31st.

That looks like way much partying

and celebrating to me. We're going 

to all come out alkies if we're not 

careful. But, we have had a year 

from hell; LET'S GO FOR IT!!!

Here's wishing us all a December

to be remembered . . .

must be in a mood

just thinking partying here

wake me in the morn

11/30/2020

Here comes December with all of its 

thinking, planning, buying and gift

giving, to say nothing of decorating,

cooking and partying. If at all possible,

I'd like to hold onto the thankfulness

that November always brings.

We've all been thoroughly wrapped

up in the plague this year, almost to

the exclusion of anything else. The

lesson I'm taking away from that is

two fold. 

The first is . . . It's people that truly 

matter, far more than any other kind 

of wealth. We are rich in our family 

and friends; it's what matters most.

Secondly, simple is best. I am a

master of the complicated; make 

no mistake. I don't want to do that

anymore. It's taken me 70 years

to learn that all time wisdom . . . 

"Slow down and smell the roses!"

Whatever time allotted me, I want

to enjoy every moment. I need to

spend precious hours with my 

family and friends. I pray I keep 

my priorities straight!

love people like things

family friends matter most

honor each other

11/29/2020

I am so enjoying the Lady Salem,

our travel trailer. Back in the day, it

was all about camping and certainly,

the kids had a ball. Bottom line, we

are talking memories in the making!

I get a kick out of the planning . . .

buying the right groceries, picking

up some brewskis, getting on the 

road. Frankly, not a lot different

from those camping days with the

kids, just a lot more comfortable.

I loved proper travel lo these many

years ago. Precious memories of

those trips and photos to prove it.

But now, we've joined the ranks of

all the other seniors who get a kick

out of visiting the family and not

having to bother them for bed and

breakfast, as it were.

And still I have to chuckle, I find

myself longing to return home.

Isn't it interesting how we love to

plan, to get ready, to get on the 

road, have a great time . . . and

still look forward to going home!

To coin a phrase . . . "There's no

place like home!: Simply has to be

one of God's great truths!

lets go on the road

load up and get out of here

ever so much fun

11/28/2020

Today, I awaken in fear and concern

for my, d) all of the above. Well you

may ask, "Who is, d) all of the above?"

We met whilst my lover was building

me a gypsy vardo. She and her hubby

would stop by to see the progress. And

make no mistake, it was an amazing,

interesting, phenomenal, fantastic,

glorious, to die for process, and well

worth the watch!

I wasn't in the best place at the time

as I had been caring for my elderly

mother for three and a half years.

Having said that, these incredible

neighbors bore with us and slowly

but surely, we became fast friends.

Alas, this couple has come down with

dreaded COVID and it frightens us all!

Worse, I learned last night that my

friend is in the hospital with pneumonia

on top of the plague. She is a brave

woman, and powerful in her own right.

Lord willing and the devil doesn't

intervene, the docs will soon make her

right as rain.

Still, I find myself praying at those

odd moments of the day when least

thinking about it. May they both be

well . . . and soon!

what is with this plague

the unknown so frightening

pray all will be well soon

~ld jennings

p.s. What then is . . .

d) all of the above?

friend, neighbor, student, teacher,

drinking buddy, cohort in crime, allies

11/27/2020

Morning of the day after . . .

I awakened with virtually the same

attitude with which I went to sleep,

yet somehow the euphoria is gone.

I imagine, as the hours pass and I

get to see the children, some of that

will return.

Yesterday, as each was busy with his

or her pre-ordained task . . . along

with music, chatter and the odd marg,

we were running high, no substances,

legal or otherwise, in sight. Thinking

about it,  when feeling this good about

your family, you know you've done

a good job somehow; praise God!

Here we are on the morning of the

day after . . . and, me thinks finding

myself grateful isn't quite enough.

Where do I go from here and what 

goes hand in hand with gratitude? This

may be the true gift of TG! Obviously,

this special day brings to mind those

things for which we are to be grateful.

So, why only on Thanksgiving day?

I pray I can daily be aware of the

beauty that surrounds me . . .

love, family, friends, and sustaining

food and water . . . ever and always.

indeed im grateful

bears thinking about daily

pray i remember

11/26/2020 - Thanksgiving

It has finally arrived. Per usual,

I thought it would never come!

It may be programing, but I find

I am continuously thinking of all

the things I am thankful for. Part

of this may simply be watching

the news . . . that would do it for

anyone, wouldn't it!

Obviously, all of us are thankful

for family, friends, hearth and

home. But, in thinking outside

the box, I must give thanks for

yet other things.

The sweet little chickadees eating

out of our feeder, Mr. Blue Jay is

feeding from leftovers under the

feeder. Our red fox dances up the

path, constantly looking left and

right. Can't help but wonder if he

is looking for friend or foe. We

have one grey squirrel left . . .

all the other chipmunks and red

squirrels have gone to ground.

Deer and elk abound . . .

Not to forget breakfast in bed

from my lover or those sweet

hugs from the grandchildren!

I find myself actually hoping

the gods give me a few more

years . . .

find myself thankful

absolutely as should be

god bless friends and foe

11/25/2020

Oh my God . . . our fave mountain 

lion visited us again this morning

at o' dark thirty!

 

He lived under my gypsy wagon for 

several months a couple of years ago 

when a passerby killed a deer in front 

of my cabin. The police placed the 

deer on my property thinking they'd 

come the next day to take it away. 

Alas, we awoke to about 8'' snow . . . 

So, he stayed all through winter and 

wined and dined on Deer Supreme!

This is our second visit this year, 

once this summer and again now. 

My guy caught him on camera, so 

we've watched him over and over. 

God, he's big! I sure hope we're 

never outside at the same time!

Truly, we have been so blest in 

living here at the cabin. We have

just over 30 sightings from the

wild at this point. Here's looking

forward to many more.

so love me some wild

lions tigers bears oh my

liking me all kinds

11/24/2020

One of the things that keeps me dancing

is the knowledge that there are still

phenomenal people in this world. We've

stayed home, except for groceries about

every three months, ever since the plague

hit us. Me thinks many know and actually

get this so no issue.

I've had a fave restaurant in the town I

lived in for the 25 years after returning to

the US. It has the most authentic Mexican

food I've eaten, as well as delicious margs.

Yesterday, I received a call from the bestest

cook ever, telling me that the owner was

concerned because she hadn't seen us in

several months.

He asked if he could run by with some

thing she had for us. Now, 'run by' was

actually about 30 miles away. Of course

we said yes. About an hour later, here

he comes with two packaged meals and

a margarita. I was absolutely blown away.

Nearly broke down in front of him.

We've lived months of dirty politics and

COVID, missing family and friends due

to this god awful plague and here comes

one of the sweetest acts of kindness I've

ever received. I am simply blown away!

never expecting

amazing acts of kindness

im ever undone

11/23/2020

Now I lay me down to sleep . . .

Have you ever thought about all the 

ways there are to pray?! 

We grew up as kids kneeling down by 

the bed and quoting Sidney D. Mitchell's 

sweet words. And not to forget, grace 

before every meal! Alas, I fear grace is 

usually saved now for the Thanksgiving 

family feasts.

For those of us who lean towards the 

spiritual rather than the religious, we 

find great comfort in meditation. For

me, it's all about sitting in solitude by

the fire and pondering the divine, both

within and without. In good weather, 

a walking meditation can be beneficial.

Those last few minutes before sleep

overcomes, are precious for a short

meditation.

I don't think of Asian meditation as

as prayer. Still, it is a beautiful thing.

We as a people tend to be larger and 

may find the sitting position and the 

OM to be foreign to us. I do hear

good things from those who have

achieved it.

Do enjoy your form of prayer and/or

meditation in the way it makes you

comfortable. This does truly help!

pray grant me the grace

meditation brings me peace

my answered prayer

11/22/2020

I was so sensible about the plague . . .

 . . . until it hit home! 

I read about it, came to understand 

it a bit better, followed the news 

closely, took all the precautions.

But, finding out that two of my close

friends and my daughter-in-law have

it, has me quaking in my boots. And

our neighbors are awaiting test results

even as we speak.

It's here, it's REAL, it's in our lives;

I'm truly frightened. What worries

me, it's become so commonplace

that we're being haphazard in our

dealings.  

Sometimes we forget our masks!

We practice social distancing, but

find ourselves closing in the space

as we converse. We go to town;

we should be staying at home.

As the plague becomes even more 

prevalent, let's take a step back and

return to the more cautious ways of

those initial months.

learning real fear

so need to face my demons

hopes prayers not enough

11/21/2020

So loving me some Wild Woman Sisterhood!

Honor that they are not cookie cutter women!

Care that they both take care of themselves

and the family and friends who surround them.

Here's wondering where I fit in?!

I do know about me that I seriously lean on the

wild side. I've always appreciated that I'm not

a cookie cutter kind of gal. I adore my family, 

love my friends and even help my prójimo 

when I can. Always, always, comes back to 

the time eternal question, "Who do I want to 

be when I grow up?"

Even when I was little, I understood I was not

like the rest. It bothered me a bit of course.

But, I think I rather liked thinking outside the

box. Ditto for a couple of friends of mine. I

went through all the stages, just like anyone

else . . . Still, self-acceptance happens in 

stages along the way. And here I am, now

initiating my 70's and still the query, "Who 

do I want to be when I grow up?"

I have come to understand that this is actually

phenomenal. No matter the place, time, age

in which we find ourselves, there is always

room for expectations, for growth, for fun and

delight, for B E C O M I N G . . .

So, watch out, here I come . . . If you thought

I was weird before, just wait!!!

who am i to be

embracing my inner weird

finding out awaits

11/20/2020

Been pondering the age old issue of beauty . . .

Me thinks every man, woman and child likes

to be told they are beautiful, gorgeous. We

all enjoy compliments and the feeling that

ensues of feeling good about ourselves.

I recall as a teacher, I had the goal of giving

100 compliments a day; 'bout 15 an hour.

Say it and walk away . . . "Fab scarf, like the

hairdo today, did you get your nails done;

they look nice. Hey, heard you playing your

guitar; great job." 

I actually made a point of never saying any

thing about looks. Not only do teachers have 

to be careful, delivery is important. Hence,

give the compliment and walk away. This

also helps with plausible discomfort and

what one must say after the compliment is

given.

Beauty is indeed wonderful, but we all know

that it's the inner beauty that lasts. Just think

about giving compliments that don't have so

much to do with looks. This matters!

Making the effort . . . so want to be beautiful

on the inside!

no longer pretty

beauty is as beauty does

thinking gorgeous thoughts

11/19/2020

As Thanksgiving draws nigh, I find myself

thinking about gratitude; 'tis the wherewithal

of the holiday, after all.

It's 2020 and most of us feel as if we've been

to hell and back this year, so perhaps I'm

feeling less grateful than usual. And, that

sentiment sparks a recognition in me . . . 

Frankly, I'm being a bit of a prat, if not a

downright brat! There are ever so many 

things to be thankful for even though we're 

enduring a great deal just now. So, how and 

where do I get my attitude fix?!

Positive thinking might be a bit much just 

now, so baby steps! Every morning, I'm 

writing down three things for which I am 

thankful. Living in a 130 year old cabin, 

there are things that spring to mind!

Although my water isn't potable, I have it.

We can shower, wash dishes, clean. flush.

The deer eat my flowers, but just think of

all that gardening I'm saved! Love birds

on the feeders; better than TV any day.

Perhaps I'm being facetious, but trying

to think outside the box here!!!

Bottom line, I'm alive even if I'm a 100

years old . . . and I'm damn grateful!

i am here arent i

in line for attitude fix

glad to be alive

11/18/2020

I find interesting all the innumerous ways

people communicate today. As a kid, I

sent a postcard a day. At the weekends, I

would send someone a card and another,

a letter. Obviously, it was something I 

loved and still do to this day.

Alas, I am unfamiliar with the many ways

people communicate today. I understand

there is Twitter along with a host of other

techno founts such as; Mastodon, Gab,

Amino and Peeks. Don't even mention 

texts!

Almost forgot the telephone. I didn't

have a phone in Mexico for the 20 years

I was there, until the last couple of months.

My parents didn't have a phone until I was

9 or 10 and that was a 3-way party line I

wasn't allowed to use . . . so today, I rarely

ever use it.

Of course, we have e-mail and Facebook, 

the former being my favorite way of 

communication. You can write your notes

when the rest of God's world is asleep and

the recipients can answer at their leisure.

Best yet . . . send a postcard!

find im missing you

morse code telegrams drum rolls

communication 

11/16/2020

For in much wisdom is much grief:

and he that increaseth knowledge

increaseth sorrow. Eccl. 1:18

I find myself thinking about this 

age old gem from time to time. Not 

only that, but there are times when

wisdom hurts so much that I long 

to be a dumb blond, to coin a very

inappropriate phrase!

It's interesting how life gifts us so

many learning experiences, that the 

only path left to us is to grow or die. 

And trust me, there are times I wish 

I had chosen death. Certainly glad 

I didn't, but this marks the difficulty 

of the path we choose to follow.

Recognizing that wisdom is virtually

an unattainable goal, still it must be

sought after religiously. The hope is

that one day we may acquire a bit

and have the joy of sharing it with

our children and grandchildren.

pray grant me wisdom

the path is so very hard

a race to be run

11/16/2020

Me thinks . . .

'tis Monday morning coming down!

My apologies to Kris Kristofferson, 

but for me it will always be Monday; 

not my favorite day! Perhaps, it's all 

just a set up. You work hard all week, 

counting down to the weekend, and 

it goes by at the speed of sound.

Don't get me wrong, I loved teaching 

more than life itself, but I would be 

lying if I didn't admit to how much

I always enjoyed weekends. In fact, 

enjoyed them so much I always 

wanted just one more day with my 

family, as well as some quiet time 

for me!

What I don't get is, now that I'm 

retired, I still find myself looking

forward to, and enjoying the week

ends. Can't help but wonder who

programmed me . . . but, I still

don't care for Mondays!

no can do mondays

give me weekends every time

promise to work hard

11/15/2020

I find myself pondering life before, during

and after this malady that plagues us . . .

Looking back, I think I did a lot of taking

life for granted prior to COVID. Life was

simply life and I was enjoying it to the 

max. I didn't have a clue what the gods

were about to bestow on us.

The plague caught us out. We didn't know,

we weren't prepared and we haven't coped

very well. This is an entirely new scenario 

for us. Did instructions come with the kit?

And here we are, winning first place in the

entire world for numbers and deaths. 

Where do we go from here?

Me thinks people are tired of coping and

obeying the rules. We're beginning to go

out, shop, eat out and hug again. But,

bottom line, we need to fight this thing

with everything we have.  We want, we

need to have an AFTER the plague.

Let's fight, let's be careful, let's live to

celebrate another day . . . 

tired of our now

live for another morrow

help me to be good

11/14/2020

Survived Friday the 13th virtually

unscathed. Note the word, virtually!

Where do we go from here?

Listening to the news and COVID

updates . . . not quite sure what to

think . . . and it is this PLAGUE

that I find myself thinking about.

I fear we're becoming used to it

and thus, taking less care. Truly,

it's back to the drawing board for

how we take care of ourselves 

and our families. 

We need to be religious with 

both social distancing and our

masks. Perhaps, the best answer

would be a bit more staying at

home.

We can put together interesting 

meals, do a puzzle, write a few

cards, telephone calls, e-mails.

I would add, do some house

cleaning, but that would be so

boring! 

Nonetheless, let's do take care!

listen to daddy

tis better safe than sorry

stay home and be safe

11/13/2020 - Friday the 13th

So, is Friday the 13th the perfect gift 

from 2020, or what?! @!#$%^&*()_+

I don't tend to think of myself as being 

particularly superstitious, but I do catch

me holding my breath! I'm about halfway

betwixt and between putting out every

amulet I own and simply ignoring the

whole thing!

It's a bit comical that 13 is one of my

fave numbers. I use it a great deal and

even honor it. I also like Friday in that

it marks the end of the work week and

perhaps even the anticipation of FAC.

And, then there's the fact that the entire 

weekend awaits . . .

Frankly, I'd bet my non-existent fortune

that we're not really afraid of the day.

Rather, we have have fun with it, get a

kick out of it! And, that's exactly what

I'm planning to do.

Brunch with a fellow witch this morning

to begin . . . hey, did I just say witch?! I

meant friend. But maybe I'm just a tad

superstitious after all!

friday the thirteenth

come and get me if you can

i will be waiting

May today be the Fridayest Friday that ever Fridayed!

11/12/2020

Hippie generation notwithstanding,

my own anti Viet Nam marches and

bra burnings . . .

My family is a military family and

I am proud of these, my family.

MILITARY SERVICE, FAMILY :

     FINO: Nicholas Fino, Alfil Fino 

     HOSKINS: Michael Hoskins

     JENNINGS: Samuel Jennings, 

     Chester Jennings, Mervin Jennings,                            

     Stanley Jennings, Gene Jennings

     KAUFHOLZ: Russel Kaufholtz, 

     Zak Kaufholtz

     MCGUINNESS: Ryan McGuinness

     KUKKONEN: Tony Kukkonen

     MACLEOD: Jacob MacLeod, 

     Kyla Dawn MacLeod

     SEYMOUR:  Michael Seymour

     VEATCH: Delton Veatch, Homer Veatch, 

     Ray Veatch, Shaun Veatch

It's such a conundrum! Obviously,

we'd all like to live in peace, see

no need to carry a gun, be friendly

and accepting of all. Alas, that is

not the world we live in today.

Perhaps acceptance is the answer.

We need to honor those who have

fought for our country, our lives.

We also have the right to wish it

unnecessary. But, bottom line . . .

 . . . we love our families; 

we are proud.

love and peace not war

vets protected family

acceptance of sorts

11/11/2020

Help! I'm already tired of Winter . . .

and it's not even December 21st yet, 

the first day of Winter! Every year

I determine to have a more positive

attitude towards Winter . . . cold,

freezing, snowy, lonely days! It's

pretty hard to have said better 

approach when you have SADS, 

but, I'm going to try.

I've been thinking of some positive

things I could do to help myself.

We should go out to lunch every

week on a day that tends towards

bright and sunny. I've begun posting

the weather forecast on my calendar

so we can plan ahead to go out. It's

probably a good idea to do so early

in the day in order to get some sun!

Me thinks brunch or lunch might

work better than supper or dinner.

An early night with an upbeat movie,

maybe even popcorn too. Perhaps, I

need to get a table puzzle going. I 

used to do them regularly. I'm still

doing my crosswords and I find this

helps.

Alas, when it gets right down to it, 

me thinks I'll enjoy sitting in front

of the fire and having me some red!

so not dealing well

hate me some cold winter days

question survival 

11/10/2020

Wild women are an unexplainable spark

of life. They ooze freedom and seek

awareness. They belong to nobody but

themselves, yet give a piece of who

they are to everyone they meet. If you

have met one, hold onto her, she'll allow

you into her chaos, but she'll also show

you her magic. Gypsy-Heart-Living

So love that wild within! Me thinks we

fear losing this spark as we grow older.

Said spark translates into different terms

for each of us, wild woman being one of

them. Independent, free thinker, eccentric,

unconventional, whimsical . . .

None of us like to think of ourselves as

cookie cutter. We tend to respect, even

like, our singularities. I doubt very much

any of us have cared about being like any

one else since middle school. 

Take your hikes, climb your mountains, 

dress your style, speak your lingo, and

love life your way. Let's each delight in 

our idiosyncrasies and enjoy whatever 

time the gods delight to gift us . . .

so love the weirdos 

worship at the feet of strange

learning to love me 

 - - -

Wilderness inside my soul, ground connecting,

air breathing, water bathing, fire breathing,

spirit flying! ~Heidi Unrein Cox

 - - -

11/09/2020

Me thinks today must be Valentine's Day, or

Friendship Day, as it's referred to in Mexico.

I get to spend several hours with my besties.

There's this whole part, ANTICIPATION, 

followed by the actual hours of shared joy. 

But, I find I also love looking back and 

remembering the day, going over those

memories we created together.

I've been thinking about how we played as

children, with our cousins and neighbors.

In grade school, we probably had our first

choice of friends. I love the stories from

people who have maintained friendships

throughout their entire lives. 

Actually, credit goes to e-mail, Facebook,

the US Postal Service and cell phones for

helping us stay in touch. My fave is mail,

so on the morrow, I'll make the effort to

put out some cards.

lets make the effort

important to stay in touch

friends are forever

11/08/2020

I seem to keep forgetting . . .

It either rains or doesn't rain.

It's either hot or cold.

The news is all uninteresting

or else it's all be told . . .

~Roy Croft

This current moment of history making 

may have us all in a kerfuffle, but it seems

life simply continues to move on at its own

pace.

I need to get groceries. Oh, and don't forget

those Thanksgiving cards that need to go in

the mail tomorrow. I should really lay in 

some mouse traps before Winter properly 

sets in. And by the way, our neighbor is 

stopping by for a bit and I don't even have

any wine to offer her.

Really, I have to laugh . . . there may even

be a lesson to be learned here! We ALL 

have our hopes and dreams, our own belief

systems, our chores and hobbies. We have

families, friends and plans . . . and yet, life

simply goes on. Maybe what I need here is

a bit of perspective. The stores have always

seemed to be out of it when I need it most!

Hell, do I actually see a tad of maturity

around the corner . . . maybe I'd best not

get too hopeful!

just considering

wonder about me sometimes

grow up already

11/07/2020

Letting go, conundrum of the ages . . .

Alas, I've never been able to let go.

Why should I?! I remember ever so

fondly thee little friends of my youth.

Just because I'm about a hundred 

years old, I see no reason to stop

thinking of them. One of the things

I've much valued about FB is the

reconnection with Bonnie and Trudi.

I think of kids I went to boarding

school with and loved reconnecting

with Kathy Ford and Tish Jeffers.

I ponder those college years and

so wish I knew where Sylvia and

Irma were. No, I am certainly not

ready to let go. Love my memories,

and have no wish nor intention of

letting them go, scrapbooks of sorts

that they are.

I recall lads I dated, jobs I had and

classwork I was assigned. Those

couple of boarding schools, one

English speaking and one Spanish!

Dress codes to be dealt with, rules

to be broken, fave teachers, beloved

friends and even that odd special

chapel service. 

My children's births, husbands of

yesteryear, friends come and gone.

Languages to be learned, teaching

in different styles, class prep to be

turned in with zero computers in

sight. Amazing leadership, glorious

teaching companions, the odd one

 . . . not so good.

Coming to the US again twenty

years later, building a new life,

learning to fit in or accepting it

just wasn't going to happen. I

have loved, and on occasion,

hated, it all. Ever so glad my

destiny was to be here for a

while.

When it's my time to go, I will be

saddened. Life seemed to have

passed by in a second, but it was

my second after all and I'm beyond

grateful to have been chosen. Let

go? No! Now now, now ever . . .

so loved my time here

hoping for a second round

i will let you know

11/06/2020

Who says the 70's are old . . .

Just because we happened to have

grown up in peddle pushers and

did our hair in curlers every night.

NOT to forget patten leather and

saddle shoes!

Got our first phone when we were

ten, party line of three. Had our first

TV when we'd been married ten years.

Go ten!

No pants in our scholastic years,

dresses only. Forget make up until

college. Virginity prior to marriage

and work only until the wedding 

ring was on.

Shaved legs, nylons and three inch

high heels to work. Braziers always,

undies and slips . . . heaven forbid

any see through should take place.

We do miss some of those things 

from yesteryear, but me thinks I 

like today even a bit better . . .

dreams of yesterday

who was i then and who now

already forgot

11/05/2020

The world will not be destroyed by

those who do evil, but by those who

watch them without doing anything.

~Albert Einstein 

These are the moments, the hours

and days that we stand by awaiting

the results that will perhaps affect

our lives forever. I lift my glass to

patience. I raise my arms to embrace

you. I raise my hand to help you in

any way I can.

I like this period of not knowing 

as it gives me pause to remember 

who and how I wish to be when 

the counting's done. I have friends 

in both parties. My family actually 

belongs to three different parties.

Sooooo what?! Isn't that what we're 

all about?! 

That priceless freedom we enjoy

so we can each think and believe

differently?! Why should it matter

that my mother is Republican, my

father an Independent and I'm a

Democrat?! I so remember fondly

the wondrous discussions we had

and NO HARD FEELINGS. 

No matter who wins, my family is 

my family, my friends, my friends!

freedom of choices

each with a mind of our own

love me anyway

11/04/2020

Yesterday, I wore pearls . . .

 . . . honoring Ruth Badder Ginsburg, my

shero. Obviously, this all started with her

and initially I was devastated that I didn't

own any pearls. Just not a pearl kind of

gal. Then I recalled a sweet little jewelry

box my grandmother gifted me from her

youth. YES! It contained a short strand 

of pearls. I like to wonder if they're real

and then I remember the time frame . . .

WWI . . . not bloody likely!

 

Wearing those precious pearls, I began 

thinking about the women in my own 

family tree. My mother was very much 

a modern woman, straight forward, knew 

her own mind. She hailed from the WWII 

era. My grandmother Elsie, with witch 

like canny, was no one to be messing with.

My cousin Cathy knows her own mind,

is very comfortable with her personhood

and takes care of business. Our aunt Vera

was an amazingly strong woman, fearless

in offering up her opinion. And, my girl

bests us all! I want to be just like her when

I grow up!

I pray I am worthy of such women!

longing for the strength

woman stand up be counted

making the attempt

11/03/2020 - election day

And so begins the waiting game . . .

waiting, waiting, waiting . . .

I remember the waiting as a kid. "Wait until

after supper! Let's wait until the weekend!

Wait until Christmas Eve, dear. That's not

for today; we're having that when grandma

comes over."

I recall the waiting as a young adult . . .

"Sorry, can't access your savings for another 

five weeks. Oh, we won't have that product

back in the store until Thanksgiving as it's

seasonal. You've waited this long, surely 

you can wait another day or two!"

Me thinks waiting as an elder may be the

most difficult of all . . . "Alas, we cannot

schedule it for yet another two months. I'm

sorry, but your account simply can't cover

that check. The children have had to cancel

their visit due to unforeseen circumstances."

And today, we wait . . . wait to see which

party will win the election. Will it be hopes

and dreams or disappointment and sorrow?

Will I have the wherewithal to act as an

adult, albeit a win or a loss? Do I have it

within me to access grace and poise 

'mongst the disappointment I may feel?

No matter the outcome, I pray I win my

own battle . . .

are you listening

sit up stand straight deal with it

act like a grown up

11/02/2020 - All Souls Day

Alas today, All Souls Day, ends the three

days of celebrating our beloved dead. We 

can actually find some amusement, if not

actual fun, on October 31st. November 1st,

is heartbreak of heartbreaks as we bare our

souls for the children we have lost. Today,

we celebrate those adults we have each lost 

in our lives.  

Obviously, there are some who are ill and

need to go, and although there is sorrow,

there is also relief. There are young people,

albeit adults, who go years too early, and 

that just hurts on several levels. Sadly, we

have all lost family and friends. Sometimes,

our grief is so overwhelming, we're not

certain we can go on.

Right or wrong, these yearly three day

celebrations of life over death, and the vast

sorrow also felt, actually help to cope with

loss. I find myself grateful for these Days

of the Dead. So today, think of your loved

ones, cook their favorite foods, sing their

special songs, tell tales out of school . . . and

if you are so inclined, build a precious altar.

pray come back today 

oh daddy how i miss you

tales of death abhor 

11/01/2020 - All Saints Day

Today, Día de todos los Santos, celebrates

those beloved children we have lost. I find

this particular day, a celebration that breaks

my heart.

There must be no loss greater than the loss

of a child. I don't even know how it can be

borne.  So, I much appreciate the way All

Saints Day celebrates the lives of those

children lost to us.

Familial celebrations around the resting 

places of our children, bringing them their

favorite foods, singing and sharing love

and memories, must be both painful and

comforting.  

Heaven forbid, you have suffered the loss

of a child. Should that be your misfortune,

I pray you may be comforted in some way.

Alas, I doubt it can happen and my prayers

go out to you.

my heart is broken

the sorrow of losing you

never be the same

10/31/2020 - Halloween, Samhain, Day of the Dead eve

Although I hate to see my fave month

come to an end, it always crescendos in

wondrous cultural celebrations.

Here in the US, we are accustomed to

celebrating HALLOWEEN. The children 

dress in fantastic costumes, the scarier

the better. They go door to door in what

is known as 'Trick or Treats'. Obviously,

kids want candy and threaten pranks if

not rewarded. All in good fun . . .

For those practitioners of Paganism, 

the celebration is SAMHAIN. This is

our most important Sabbat of the year.

It honors the third harvest; gleaning

takes place, both physically and

metaphorically. Samhain marks both

the end of the current year and the

beginning of the Pagan new year. 

The three day Pagan celebration of 

Latin America's Días de los Muertos

begins. Many use the entire month of

October in preparation for this event.

This being the EVE of the three-day

celebrations, families and friends 

congregate around sundown, many in

costumes. Altars to lost family are built.

Amazing foods, for both the living and 

the dead, are set up on tables. Dancing, 

eating, story telling ensue . . . all in 

honor of our beloved dead.

so missing my dad

tonight i visit with him

the veil is thinning

10/30/2020

Pondering comeuppance and just desserts . . .

On the one hand, what with the majority 

of us having a bit of a sweet tooth, how did

the concept of just desserts ever come out 

of our love for confections?! Perhaps, 'tis

the end of this meal that is life . . .

Obviously, there are many who don't go

for sugar, per se. Still, we probably could

all do with that one piece of chocolate now 

and again. Extrapolating here, how then

does one ensure that the baddies get their 

just due?

Sometimes it's all about the law, and alas, 

the law most likely deals with those bigger 

crimes. Karma steps in from time to time

and takes care of business. Still others take

it upon themselves to punish and protect,

sometimes paying a high price as well.

Perhaps the operative word here IS karma.

Bringing out those wise old adages . . .

"Stay in your own lane. Mind your own 

business. Do right by yourself and others. 

Keep striving! Keep your hands clean."

Seems to be there's a bit of wisdom in 

those old axioms! Me thinks I'll just try 

to be a good girl and enjoy my chocolate 

after dinner!

mama done told me

a good spanking awaits

must mind p's and q's

10/29/2020

Me thinks life is a sphere of concentric circles . . .

Visualizing our tiny beginnings and those small

endings . . . LIFE, with our living fleshed out in

the center. I find those beginnings of interest,

that little life I was living as a child. My whole

world was the town I lived in, the church we

attended, those few family and friends, and my

beloved school.

As I grew and left home at 15 to study abroad,

so did my world. A bigger city, more friends,

a plethora of nationalities, different ways of

thinking and a broader exploration of politics.

I was WOWED . . . and loved every moment.

Marrying out of my own race, living south

for 20 years, studying a variety of unrelated

disciplines, all brought about this broadening

of life experiences. I love to think the center

of my own circle of life is my children. Such

amazing, beautiful creatures they are. 

41 years of teaching in two countries . . . 

talk about a broadening of life experiences!

Truly, nothing else can compare. Alas, as one

walks away from a beloved career, slightly

bent and facing the cane years, that sphere

begins its travels towards the finish line. 

I'm nearly there . . . tremendously interested 

in that upcoming experience, a bit frightened, 

yet anxious for a good look-see. 

that enticing sphere

coming round full circle 

beginnings endings

10/28/2020

Thinking about forgetfulness as it applies 

to me. Forever and a day, we've all heard 

the elder forgetting jokes and can't help 

but wonder if that's us waiting to happen.

I just took out the trash and can't remember

if I brought back my guy's trash can! Go

figure! Sometimes, I eat two breakfasts, fun! 

And, I've been known to answer the same

e-mail twice or comment a couple of times

on the same post.

So, I've been having a think . . . Is it that I'm 

truly forgetful, or is it that I don't pay attention 

to business? Maybe, my mind doesn't consider

whatever to be important and dismisses it.

Perhaps, I'm acting by rote and am pondering 

some things I consider to be important and am 

distracted. It may even be, d) all of the above.

Bottom line, I'm coming to the conclusion

that we humans show all of the above traits 

at all ages and we don't particularly pay

attention to this until we're oldsters.

I'm beginning to think forgetfulness is fairly

unimportant, so I'm going to treat myself to

second breakfast with Tolkien as my guest.

a light in the dark

forgetting remembering

both phenomenal

10/27/2020

Then there's all those fantastical words . . .

It almost seems that they've been made up.

I find myself flummoxed by all those crazy

words enticing my silly side at every sound. 

Most people have very lackadaisical attitudes

towards their own speech patterns, but I get

a kick out of them anyway.

I mean, when you think about it, a lot of

lingo is completely discombobulated. For

me, most of it is gobbledygook anyway.

Poppycock! Today, most of these young 

whippersnappers would get entirely lost 

in the kerfuffle when it comes to language!

Well, I'd probably better stop lollygagging

around here. The neighbors are making a

horrific hullaballoo with their Halloween

party. For me, it's a lot of malarkey. Maybe

I feel that way because we weren't invited.

seduce me with words

verbiage is to my liking

love me the lingo  

10/26/2020

Lingo on my mind . . .

Contemplation or thought? Humungous or

large? Nice or awesome? Sweet or lovely?

Phenomenal or good? Delicious or delectable?

Not certain it really matters. We all have a

different predilection for various kinds of

language. Some prefer simple, direct, clear.

Makes for good understanding. One of my

fave authors, Robert B. Parker, wrote his

plethora of books in exactly this manner.

There are those who seem to dote on the

more flowery side of linguistics, almost

poetic. I find I can do floral bouquets of

language just about as much as I can do

PINK . . . so NOT well! Having finally 

confessed, I will say this . . .

 . . . I love! LOVE!! L O V E !!! language.

I revel in the use of those absolutely delish 

words. Give me a . . . transcendent, prolific,

soniferous, veridical . . . and as my practice

is cartomancy, I may as well add that to the

list.

Time was when a word a day was the norm.

And, as we grow older, this kind of thing

becomes even more important. Give it a try!

One a week might be more like it at my 

speed!

lingo at its best

gift me some delectables

language enamored