03/31/19

Exciting times . . . D-Day for buying our first
travel trailer is only a couple of weeks away.
We've been to several show rooms as well as a
proper RV show. Interesting how it's both tiring
and exhilarating at the same time . . . exhausting
business, make no mistake. Part of the fun (did
I say FUN?!) . . . the different points of view and
expectations. Added to that, the usual financial
limitations and waiting time, and the stress stacks
up. Still . . . truly something to look forward to. We
already have a travel list made up . . . and if you
happen to hear we were engaged in a bank robbery,
don't believe a word of it! Donations kindly accepted!
Ha!

new fun in the wings
ideas expectations
anticipation

03/30/19

One of the strangest and most interesting
experiences in life must be interacting and
conversing with adult children. It's amazing,
refreshing reaffirming, glorious! Me thinks
I'm in love! Perhaps kaleidoscope might be
the right word . . . sitting with the kids, alright,
adult children, you're listening in awe as they
speak, share, converse . . . but your mind is
sifting through mental photographs of them as
teenagers, children, blossoming adults, babies.
Put on some soft music and you have a slide
show to end all slide shows. I pray the last
act of my life on earth will be to listen to my
children conversing, laughing, sharing . . .
I'll be on my way to whatever paradise awaits
me with their sweet voices in my heart . . .

my children my child
gratitude overwhelming
true meaning of love

03/29/19

First mini-vay in forever . . . fab fun catching up
with my cousin last evening. Without a doubt, she
is one of the great loves of my life. Today has been
about checking out travel trailers as that's going to
be April's task! I find myself getting excited about
the whole trailer and let's go on vacation thing. Maybe
I'll finally feel like we're properly retired once that
experience kicks in. Tonight it's eat out with my kid
and catching up. I so love vacations . . . interesting
that one doesn't have to go far and wide to enjoy
Spring break, as it were . . .

hello how are you
im fine thank you very much
see you again soon

03/28/19

Women have been on my mind of late. What
phenomenal creatures they are . . . and perhaps
always have been. We are all aware of that female
trail through history . . . women as virtual slaves,
grossly limited rights, very curtailed educations,
no right to vote or hold public office, limited choices
in ever spectrum, right down to no say in their
conjugal dictates. How I admire those pioneers who
have made possible our choices today. For as much
as we hear, read and study, truly we can have no
idea what those sheroes went through to make the
modern-day woman even plausible! How dare we
spit in the face of their sacrifices?! How dare we
negate the broad spectrum of choices they virtually
laid at our feet?! How dare we call ourselves women
if we don't rise to the occasion . . . the very occasions
they made possible to and for us every single day of
our lives?! Women fucking R O C K !!! Let's remember!
Hell yes! Let us always remember!!!

paths made easier
women and the trail of fears
bend the knee honoring them

03/27/19

Miss Mamie Echols, 1924 - 2019

In one era and out the other . . .
Yesterday afternoon, we lost our
first grad teacher, Miss Echols.
That would be Miss Mamie Echols,
although we didn't know her first
name at the time. She was 95.
I suppose it is possible to forget a
few of the teachers one has had
throughout those many years of
attending school, but to forget
Miss Echols would be anathema.
After all, she was the magician who
brought the world of reading to our
feet. I can still remember her and
her magic wand . . . pointing the
way through the syllables, sounding
out the chosen words and voilà, we
were reading. I can still remember
the euphoria I felt all those sixty
plus years ago, when I realized I
recognized the words on the black
board. From time to time, Miss Echols
would accept an invitation to eat at
the homes of her students. Special
occasions indeed! We would brag
about such times, compare notes, tell
tales out of school, as it were. Make
no mistake, she was a celebrity in our
lives. Through the years, she has been
in touch . . . the odd phone call, post
card, ever the teacher. Now she will
reside, next to my mother and brother,
as was her wish. Good company all
around . . . but, I can't help but wonder
if she'll be helping God with his reading!

fairy god mother
the gift of the written word
never to forget

03/26/19

"Some dance to remember,
some dance to forget." The Eagles

Walking down memory lane . . . alas,
remembering my forgetting . . . At almost
70, I find myself remembering the strangest
things at the oddest times. I can be walking
down the street, minding my own business,
when I am assailed by an unbidden memory
that can invoke either laughter or tears. Me
thinks people must look at me like I'm about
half nuts! I catch myself saying things like,
"I remember my father saying . . . " or, "Mom
used to tell . . . " I glance at some of gram's
antiques here at the cabin and am instantly
transported to memories of a time past. Not
certain if I need to make an announcement,
"I'm now officially old!" But, I'd bet my
bottom dollar, that is if I could remember
where I put it, that all and sundry already
know that . . .

tis interesting
now going separate ways
mind body and soul

03/25/19

My bedroom's been invaded! There
are strange, iridescent lights everywhere
I look . . . a couple of clocks, a security
system, a television and a computer. I
won't even mention the night lights.
A miracle I ever get any sleep . . . me
thinks it might be a Martian invasion!
I'm lost somewhere 'twixt the enjoyment
of modern conveniences and the sadness
of lost peace of times past. No answers;
only questions . . . an an inexplicable,
abiding sorrow . . .

where the hell am i
i don't belong to the now
lost in the present

03/24/19

I believe I shared at the time that
we had an accident outside the cabin
in January. A man hit a deer; the police
came . . . kindly shot the injured animal
and drug in on my property for motorist
safety purposes. Within hours it was under
a foot of snow. As you know, we've had a
bobcat digging around in the carcass for the
past few days, so I rang Road and Bridge.
They were able to pick it up yesterday.
Interestingly enough, my guy found bear
tracks around the deer. Exciting times . . .

missing gods creatures
goodbye winter hello spring
different vistas

03/23/19

Yesterday, I found myself pining . . .
pining for a day out, a special meal,
a trip down town, treasures to be
found! And then, I had to go and look
around . . . a full larder, a library like
none other, a few bottles of wine in the
wine rack, a damn interesting cabin to
live in and animals at my window. And,
that's not even mentioning my amazing
family that I would rather live for than
die for. To whom to I apologize for my
unkind thoughts and longings? It took
me a moment, but I am indeed grateful.

just thinking out loud
no need for a wishing well
reminder well served

03/22/19

"Mary had a little lamb . . . and everywhere
that Mary went . . . the lamb was sure to go."
Actually, I'm talking about my guy! I've shared
before that he takes out birdseed every morning;
both of us enjoy watching the birds at play and
eats! He also makes an effort to have a salt lick
type block for the deer. It's comprised of seeds
and other bits made especially for deer. A couple
of days ago, it appeared they had polished it off,
so we were walking out to the truck to go purchase
another one . . . and here came the deer . . . three
of them. They followed Russel almost to the pickup,
not quite within petting distance. Frankly, I found it
to be quite moving. Yet one more experience to tuck
under our cabin belts . . .

glorious wonders
animal kingdom ahoy
celebrating spring

03/21/19 - Ostara

"Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonders where the birdies is."

Fond memories of growing with with my father
reciting this silly ditty from back in the day.
And now, I find myself loving this two day
Spring/Equinox/Ostara/Full Super Moon . . .
pure magic! Now, if only we've seen the last
of the snow, I might, just might make it!!!

dying for spring here
promise it wont go away
so needs me some sun

03/20/19

I am moved to tears by the gift of friendship.
It's one of those things that simply gets me
every single time. We are all fortunate to have
people in our lives who we love and who love
us. Still, from time to time, things happen to
remind us just how amazing and wondrous
this is. The quiet sharing of laughter, joy and
tears, those precious moments remembered
when once the friend is gone . . . priceless! I
pray I always honor this gift of the gods . . .

in my heart and soul
ever remembering you
the pearl of great price

03/19/19

PURE MAGIC! We were sitting at the table,
minding our own business as it were, when
all of a sudden we saw a bobcat in the yard.
A few weeks ago, a local motorist hit a deer
in front of the cabin. After all was said and
done, the police dragged it over to my yard
and gave it the tiro de gracia. By the next
day, it was covered in snow, so we surmised
it would be picked up after winter was over.
Today was really the first proper snow melt
and the bobcat was immensely enjoying the
deer meat. It made trips back and forth with
pieces in its mouth, making us wonder if bob-
kittens were somewhere nearby.  One way or
another, my guy got photographs and our minds
and hearts now house an unforgettable memory!

here kitty kitty
a whirlwind of visuals
bobcat as totem

03/18/19

Ever so much sorrow in the world just now.
My heart breaks even as we dance a jig and
down green beer. Have we simply closed our
minds to it? Shuttered our eyes? Sheltered
our feelings? How, oh how can I as a mature
woman, actually help at this point in my life?
Obviously, the answer would be to do something!
Do anything! So, maybe I am too old to march,
too impoverished to donate, too, too, too, too . . .
Nonetheless, I can indeed, NOT add to our many
problems. I can watch my mouth, take care in
my comments, be kinder, even write letters! If
every single sympathetic soul in the world today
would indulge others in simple acts of kindness,
to coin a phrase, goodness would prevail . . . and
I'm all for pipe dreams, make no mistake!

so not coping well
longing for world happiness
peace most important

03/17/19 - St. Patrick's Day

Only slept under three hours last night . . .
me thinks I was inadvertently awaiting the
arrival of Saint Patrick's Day with the usual
conundrum of mixed feelings. I honor his
day, mostly because it is the birthday of a
dear friend. In addition, I get a kick out of
we, the American peoples, wearing green
and celebrating the hell out of the day.
Here's wishing you all delightful hangovers
and illusive memories . . .

conundrums ahoy
surviving another year
just color me green

03/16/19

I must be dying . . . I dreamt I threw a
surprise birthday party for my in Grand
Junction. She was alive and well, lived in
her own sweet home and was loving it.
My son Luis was providing the music along
with several friends joining in. Mom was
enjoying it throughly although she kept
mentioning she was running late for an
appointment and needed to go. Her car
was in the driveway. I sat with Martin and
we had a long, enjoyable conversation. Soon
after, I was greeted by Clyde Jenkins who
kissed my head about seven times; Ruby
just nodded sweetly. As we were sitting in
fold up chairs outside, the music attracted
the neighbors who hadn't been originally
invited. Soon, they started showing up with
covered dishes and bottles of wine . . . a
true neighborhood cul-de-sac do! I can't
help but wonder, do your minds fix? repair?
our troubled memories in our dreams? If so,
me thinks I needs go back to sleep . . .

dreamers dreaming dreams
'tis a better world in store
rock-a-bye-baby

03/15/16

Life before taxes . . . or some such . . .
Today, my hero will be doing my taxes; I
must confess, I'm a nervous wreck. Every
year 'tis the same. nervous wreck BEFORE
and a sigh of relief AFTER. I'm not quite
certain how this is. Perhaps, we grow up
with all the tax jokes, fears and sorrows
thereof. For certain, I'll feel like celebrating
when it's all over. Up for some Mexican food,
Marc?

angst and suspicions
why is it so difficult
fear of the unknown

03/14/19

I'm feeling as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof . . .
and, what a difference a day makes, to quote a
couple of old adages! Tuesday, we were enjoying
fab weather and Wednesday, we got just over a
foot of snow. It was pleasant watching it snow . . .
birds and deer came anyway. But, it snowed for
over twelve hours and now there isn't even a path
to the car for emergencies or taking in the tax
prep for a pre-arranged appointment. As I've
commented before, I am thrilled that Colorado
has reached its much needed water quota. Still,
to whom do I now pray for Spring to arrive?
Going quietly nuts here . . . ok, not so quietly . . .

pray give me some sun
me thinks springs on vacation
dying on the vine

03/13/19

Thank the gods we have all been blest with
the gift of friendship during our short sojourn
on this earth; indeed, all else pales in its wake.
Hark back to the tales of school told by the
oldsters and you'll immediately recognize the
affection in the storyteller's voice. These stories,
from our own personal archives, bring us joy
in the remembering. So, I would charge us all . . .
'midst our parenting and all that this entails, let's
make a point of befriending our children. It's from
us that they learn how to make friends, how to
be a friend, as well as the giving and receiving
that comes with the responsibility. The ethics of
friendship may be one of the most important
lessons we can ever share with our children.

pondering the gift
ever cherishing my friends
may i be worthy

03/12/19

I have rejoiced in the warmth and bright sun of
these last couple of days. And now, I understand
it is to snow again n the morrow. I much value
the need for water and thank Mother Nature for
taking care of us . . . but not quite certain I can
deal with winter for much longer. As a SADS
(Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome) survivor,
and yes, I do mean survivor, I suffer greatly in
the winter months. I am grateful for the three
seasons of wonderful weather. I am thankful
for the winter holidays and the promise of its
soon ending . . . but I pray to make it through
to spring . . . Lord willing and the Devil doesn't
intervene. For now, God help me make it through
tomorrow . . .

the beauty of snow
so pristine in its delight
get thee behind me

03/11/19

I think I want to be a child when I grow up.
We experienced the grandchildren yesterday
in a state of pure joy. The kids put together
a party to end all parties and the children
all gave us a lesson in going with the flow,
enjoying the moment. When they were tired,
they slowed down. When they were hungry,
they ate. When they were sleepy, they slept.
And, when they were happy, they were ecstatic.
It was truly a revelation to be experienced.
Oh, to be a kid again . . . and did I mention,
our daughter-in-law R O C K S !!!

child within without
much deserves more attention
no not forgotten

03/10/19

The word fraud . . . 'tis on my mind of late.
We are assailed with fraudulent advertising,
questionable politicians, exaggerated memes,
and a tenebrous hope for a morrow that may
never come to fruition. So, where do we go
from here? Do I buy into phantasies ahoy . . .
Do I build a reality that only I can live in?
Somewhere in between? Who do I really want
to be when I grow up? Perhaps, the answer
actually lies in growing up! Seeking wisdom!
Taking responsibility for words and actions!
Alas, I fear I have become my father in my
dotage, but for certain, I do wish to grow up,
take responsibility and lose any fraudulent
tendencies I may have cosseted; God help me!

making the effort
trying my best to grow up
who am i to be

03/09/19

I much pondered the meaning of my own
standing throughout the day yesterday. I
am indeed one woman 'mongst all women,
international or not. I am fortunate in that
my own appearance on the planet happened
in such a way that I have been able to observe
the evolution of womenkind. My mother was
part of that era where women were 'allowed'
to work outside the home. Thankfully, the stars
smiled on me and I was able to be educated,
albeit in a profession approved for women. In
my first 20 years of teaching, I was allotted a
somewhat diminished salary as female teachers
didn't earn as much as their counterparts of like
education and experience. Still, I was able to
buy my own home, provide for myself and my
children and enjoy a partner on whom I didn't
need to rely for financial support. So, what
might I say to these aspiring young women
of today? I would say this, "Honor the women
in whose footsteps you follow, who marched,
bared the breast and fought for the rights you
now enjoy so freely. They were and are some
of the most amazing entities you will ever
have the opportunity to meet!" Sheroes all!

proud of womankind
i pray i may be worthy
honored to belong

03/08/19 - International Women's Day

It rocks that all women will be honored today
throughout the entire world. I find it interesting
that I have been able to experience, in my own
lifetime, the evolution of how women are viewed.
When I was growing up, there were no women
truck drivers, no women carpenters, few women
as bosses in charge and/or in high places. For me,
it's not about women 'ruling the world' or being
the 'greater sex' or being 'the new man'. It simply
means to me that woman can be who they wish
to be without chastisement or criticism. Bottom
line, International Women's Day or not, that would
be my wish for all peoples, all cultures, all creeds
in the entire world.

high expectations
living in a brand new world
hope reigns eternal

03/07/19

Wow! What a day . . . Ash Wednesday,
Mercury Retrograde, New Moon . . . it's
not everyday that three celebrations are
packed into one. I find it interesting that
Ash Wednesday invites self-examination,
Mercury Retrograde is commonly known
as a time of self-testing and the time from
new moon to full moon encourages personal
growth. I'm not one to follow the stars, per
se, but these three meaningful events falling
on the same day interest me. Perhaps, any
day or time in which we are called to better
ourselves is a gift. I don't think New Year's
resolutions once a year quite cut it. We most
likely need these timely reminders. So, I'm
going to consider myself reminded; perhaps
this will better help me to walk my path . . .

reminders ahoy
the difference of a day
growth at any cost

03/06/19

I finally had a decent conversation on my cell
phone yesterday. Alas, I fear I date myself. I
grew up with a party line and rarely allowed
to use it Whenever I invented a need for a
call, I was required to be quick and dirty, as
it were. During my 20 year sojourn in Mexico,
we didn't have a phone for 19 years. The last
year, we did indeed get a phone, interesting
process that it was. We were required to pay
a year's salary for the phone as a deposit,
hence the 19 years of savings. You then pay
your usual monthly bill. If at any time you
wish to return it, the full amount is returned
to you. If you choose to see the phone to a
neighbor, they are required to pay the same
amount you did. All this sets you up for a lot
of borrowing and lending of phones. I can
remember calling my parents once a month.
I would bake cookies, take them over to a
neighbor and ask her if I could borrow her
phone for a few minutes. Due to the cost of
the call and the whole borrowing factor, I
never talked over the three-minute minimum.
Bottom line, I am an e-mail gal. You'll laugh,
but I still have minutes on my phone from my
original contract almost three years ago. Just
call me NEANDERTHAL!

just a call away
so longing to hear your voice
when can i see you

03/05/19

We all want to be strong, make no mistake.
Obviously, I can't speak for men, but I firmly
believe there is an innate desire in women to
daily grow and find their inner strength. It's a
struggle, yet with the overcoming, comes the
rejoicing. The surprise for me has been to reach
this age and find out that I'm not there yet! We're
led to believe that with age comes wisdom, that
Crones really know their stuff . . . and I'm ready
to rest on my laurels, as it were. No such luck!
Still learning every single day . . . alas, along with
the fuck ups as well. God help me . . .

yearning to be strong
will i ever ever learn
praying for wisdom

03/04/19

My guy gifted me a day stolen from the gods
yesterday. After gathering wood, he announced
our date by the fire was ready to begin. He then
served hot, soothing tea and we simply enjoyed
chatting for a couple of hours. This was followed
by a gourmet salad with loads of blue cheese,
my fave! Opening a bottle of Olde Spirits, we
shared a toast or two. Finally, he deemed we
were ready for dessert. Girl Scout cookies and
cold milk. Truly tickled my heart! We watched as
the magical flames slowed to embers, our hearts
entwined, ready for a few hours rest. Cinderella
has naught over me . . . my prince is as charming
as ever!

romance is not dead
move over cindy im home
fairy tale of sorts

03/03/19

Every time I awoke during the night, I could
see it snowing on the monitor. At this point
it looks like we only got another four inches.
My back yard has roughly two feet of winter
snow; this one will be icing on the cake. I'm
trying to be positive as the moisture from the
snow is such a gift. On the down side, my
library has been flooded several times and it's
every day with the wet vac for us. I fear I
despair and I pray my books will not be ruined.
It all comes down to lessons learned . . . no
matter who you are, where you live, how old
you may be and whatever your economics,
there will always be lessons to be learned. I
always thought by this point in my life, I would
be learning more about the moral, spiritual and
esoteric. Turns out, I mostly forgot about the
physical. Me thinks the term I'm looking for is
BALANCE . . . and yes, I want that . . . doesn't
mean I'm not looking forward to Spring!

pray summer come soon
so longing for sunny days
needing moonlit nights

03/02/19

An afternoon by the fire. Talking, sharing
as the flames burst, rise and glow. Thoughts
never before entertained. Concepts revisited.
Ideas pondered and rejected. Solutions ahoy!
We raise our glasses . . . friendship without par.

searching mind and soul
so longing for clarity
the gift of answers

03/01/19

March 1, 1692

Today marks the anniversary of the Salem Witch
Trials, tragic reminder of intolerance, closed minds,
and prejudice. The argument over how many died,
how many were hung, how many were tortured, is
not the point. For me, it reminds me that intolerance,
closed minds and prejudice are alive and well today,
lo these 327 years later. Perhaps, today is the day we
can all take a step back and look inward. Am I
intolerant of other's political beliefs? Do I frown on
those who worship differently than I? Do I smirk in
the face of bullying? Will I always turn away from
those different from me? I pray this anniversary of
horror and shame gifts me the opportunity of self
reflection. May I honor those who have fought for
the right to be different. Pray, may I stand up and
be counted . . .

rivers of tears flow
oh sorrow beyond sorrows
pray i learn from thee