02/28/19

John Rohn tells us that discipline is the bridge
between goals and accomplishment. I've been
thinking, always a dangerous prospect, that I've
had just about as much discipline as I can deal
with at nigh onto 70 years of age. Me thinks 'tis
time to be away with the fairies for a while! The
gods only know what can of worms I'm opening
up with a statement like that, but I find I'm
rather tired, if not downright exhausted, from
being an adult for so long. Perhaps a hiatus in
time is just what the doctor ordered! Endless
days of sunshine, a plethora of mind boggling
sunsets, birds chirping in the background, music
softly playing, walks along the beach, a few
gourmet meals and a tad of red wine. Alas, I
fear I have just described Nirvana; I pray this
doesn't translate as an invitation to Neverland!

ever so tired
aint no rest for the wicked
longing for sunsets

02/27/19

She might be right; she might be wrong,
but she's compelling on every level. She
leads with blind faith, never faltering,
ever trusting. She marks the spaces of
her presence with the perfume of her soul.
She glides the skies, trying to comprehend
the heavens and sails the seas, plumbing
the expanse, lo unto the very depths of her
own hell. She is fierce, she is loyal, she is
true, And she is exactly who I wish to be.

longing for insight
so needing to understand
pondering the depths

02/25/19

Moving in . . . moving out . . . MOVING!!!
I hark back to the first time I moved when I
left home to go to boarding school at 14. I think
I moved in, in about 15 or 20 minutes. As I got
older and became possession heavy, I could still
get settled anywhere from a week or two. We
moved into this tiny 120 year old cabin exactly
14 months ago and I just started putting away
the last box. I say 'putting away', what I really
mean . . . stare at it hard enough and pray it just
disappears on its own!!! We've all heard our
elders make statements along the line of, "You
spend the first part of your life accumulating and
the last part of your life eliminating. I've hated
learning the truth of this old adage! I've always
been 'treasure' oriented, nothing to do with
belongings or an attraction to wealth. So, I will
stipulate that it's much more difficult to bid adieu
to my treasures! I'm probably more along the line
of being 'space poor and treasure rich'! Perhaps,
I'll go to my grave with this one last box . . .

striving to settle
creating a hearth and home
building a homestead

02/25/19

What an amazing gift to spend an
afternoon with a friend who truly
converses, no small talk intended.
It comes to me that small talk is
simply another component of the
whole 'make nice' we were taught
as children in order to cope in the
big, bad world. I imagine, conversing
with real intent, can surprise, fulfill,
delight and even sometimes offend.
By the same token, a conversation
is a two-way street. One can go back
and forth until an understanding
occurs, if not an accord. Me thinks
we make a mistake to believe we
must always agree with those who
are our counterparts. Let's sack
boring in favor of enticing!

silent in my pleas
someone must be listening
oh that gift of bliss

02/24/19

Pondering betrayal and coming to understand
that there are many types and kinds of betrayal.
This is an important issue for me. I have this
wish, maybe desire, to die without having betrayed
my personal code. Make no mistake, we all betray
during our short lives; probably most of all, ourselves.
We betray our own code of ethics in order to make
nice as society demands. We sometimes betray our
parents in order to adopt our own belief system. He
betrays his wife to get she attention. She betrays
her children to get some rest. They betray their
country out of fear, and on it goes. My personal
wish for myself, is that I come to a comprehension
of exactly who I am, what is it I stand for, where
am I going and where do I get the courage to rise
and shine. I pray I ever be so intrepid on my own
battlefield.

resolve without fail
striving for integrity
i pray may i rise

02/23/19

A revelation . . . am I losing my mind,
my memory? Alas, I've thought so for
a while now, and then yesterday, I spent
hours going through four boxes of treasures,
last of this whole, "Let's move to the cabin!"
lunacy. It felt something along the lines of
the miraculous. Each photo I held in my
hand was a memory renewed. I softly
smoothed the wrinkles in a scarf and was
moved to tears. I gently brushed the dust
from beloved pieces of yesteryear and
memories flooded my mind. Much needed
sweet thoughts of my mother invaded my
soul. Lovely images of my grandmothers
still linger. A childhood revisited and a faith
restored . . .

holding history
revisiting memories
scrapbooks of the mind

02/22/19

In a land far, far away, 'tis always Summer
by day and Spring by night. Me thinks 'tis
called Never, Never Land . . . Perhaps, the
ancestors will take me there in time and I
will laugh under the sun and dance under
the moon. The Lord of the Dance loves only
me and we shall live happily ever after in
the afterglow of life's sweetest sorrows . . .

pray bind now my eyes
so longing for sweet nothings
warmth within my soul

02/21/19

Sooooo tired of Winter! Yesterday, I finally
reached the end of my tether, depression
wise! My guy ran me to Kaiser and my doc
prescribed me some serious anti-depressants.
I do know and understand that Winter is just
as important as any other season, to say
naught of the water content we collect from
the snows. Have no answers, only questions . . .
Why was I born this way? Will I spend the
rest of my Winters in deep depression? It
takes some serious shekels to go live in
Arizona for the Winter . . . pray I win the
lotto . . . then there's this whole need to buy
a ticket thing . . .

shaking in my boots
no answers only questions
pray bring back the sun

02/20/19 Day III - Understanding

Coming to the end of a three-day ponder, I'm
not certain my comprehension of the issues at
hand are much clearer. I have to laugh at me
own self for using the word NICE when it's a
milk toast kind of word at best. Obviously, I
found myself in a rather Pollyanna state, place
where none of us have resided for a long, long
time. A resumidas cuentas, we each are who
we are, cliché that may appear to be. Perhaps,
the best to long for, would be an understanding
of self, who we are, why we are and is that truly
who we want to be when we grow up?! It's too
easy to simply let self BE, let things STAND,
let the old tried and true inertias TAKE OVER.
In the last moments of my Pollyanna state, my
wish for all of us would be personal growth.
May we each rise and shine . . .

longing for answers
who to ask who to tell who
nothing but questions

02/19/19 Day II - Seeking

I wrote of differences, acceptance, friendship.
An oversimplification, make no mistake. Many
of us grew up in the arena of, 'let's make nice'.
I stand by that; it's important. A little common
courtesy goes a long way. Still . . . if you break
it down . . . you don't have to be friends to play
fair. You don't have to like a person to treat them
with respect. You don't have to share the same
values to be courteous and gracious. Obviously,
there are levels of friendship. As we grow older,
we all have our circles of friends and most likely
don't bother with the childhood vernacular of
'my best friend' or similar titles. But what about
those who abuse, beat, rape and pillage? What
about those who harm animals, sin against our
Mother Earth? Maybe it boils down to . . . Know
who you are! Honor your code! Live a life you
can respect! . . . and other such mandates. But,
somewhere in all this making nice, loving our
neighbors as ourselves and striving to be the
good guys, we obviously have to take a stand
against those ethical dilemmas that offend, to
say nothing of the peoples and persons who
harm others. Still, it starts at the center . . .

pray help understand
look search see through waters dark
illumination

02/18/19 Day I - Longing

Sooooo . . . we're all different! I happen to be a
woman; perhaps you are not. I'm 69 years old
and you may be anything from newly born to an
elder. I'm Pagan and you're Christian, or maybe
not. I am a Democrat and you're an Independent
or a Republican. I read and you do the computer;
I drive and you take the bus. I'm vegetarian and
you're a carnivore. i have five degrees; maybe
you have ten or are a high school dropout. Simply
NOT understanding here, how these differences
mean we can't be friends! I've always believed
DIFFERENT made for interesting . . . perhaps not.
Sorrow of a different kind . . .

different unique
so trying to understand
whats the problem here

02/17/19

An interesting p.s. to Valentine's Day
makes me wonder if the shortest month
of the year, February, doesn't have the
most to offer. 'Tis a month of recoup from
Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day . . . and
God, me thinks we need it! I find myself
looking forward to a very calm, quiet March.
Oh right, the first day of Spring comes in
March, what was I thinking?! Perhaps, I
simply need to accept that all months bring
about plenty of celebrations and just must,
as they say, find a way to rest in between!
Pray, bring me a much needed parenthesis
in time! Sooooo not kidding!!!

holidays galore
anyone want to party
alas no can do

02/16/19

At 7:00 a.m. we were visited by Cernunnos
and tribe . . .  Cernunnos and nine additional
bucks. We receive these visitations daily, but
this is the first time we've had all ten at once.
The buck we refer to as Cernunnos, is a five
horn. Several had four; there were a couple
of twos and one, only a few months old. Las
but not least, one of our regulars with one
antler only. We can't help but wonder if we'll
find the other once the snow melts. We were
blest to stand at the window and watch them
at play, enjoying the treats my guy puts out
for them. I truly believe I'm the luckiest gal
in the world to be living at The Lady Hekate!

watching bucks at play
an unusual sight indeed
a gift from the gods