12/31/18 - New Year's Eve

Wow! Last day of this year, as it were! I find
I am 'twixt and 'tween that mixed bag of
feelings of where to go from here, knowing
full well, 'tis naught I can do to stop Father
Time. I suppose it's natural to turn back for
a look-see, a la Lot's Wife, for a last glimpse
of been there, done that! Of course, there are
a plethora of things I could, and would change,
given the opportunity. I imagine that is the
human way. But, at the risk of over indulging
in truisms, it is what it is, and not even the
gods can step in and alter the course we each
have chosen. Me thinks perhaps 'tis the reason
New Year's Resolutions were invented. I've
gotten a kick out of different postings in the
last twenty four, saying something along the
lines, "All's good, all's well, expect no changes,
I am who I am." I rather admire the concept
and would like to embrace it, as long as I can
simultaneously seek growth. Sounds like a
balancing act to me; only hope I can stay the
distance.

so long for perfect
twixt self acceptance and change
must be courageous

12/30/18

Bed anyone? I remember as a child just how
much I hated being sent to bed! I never got
how the clock started moving faster as the
evening approached. Oh, and being sent to
bed as a punishment . . . horror or horrors.
I never understood why my parents wanted
to sleep in on the weekends either. I suppose
'twas as a teen, bed became a more delicious
place to be. In adulthood, bed was nirvana,
an escape from reality, a never, never land of
sweet forgetting, rarely to be had. Now as an
elder, I've come to enjoy the actual odd day
abed for reading, for reading and for reading!
Sweet beyond belief. It frightens me some
just how much I enjoy said days. I can still
hear my mother saying, "If you stay in bed
all day, you just might end up an invalid."
I used to respond, "I'll chance it" . . . smarty
pants that I was . . . but now, I hark back and
find that I'm more than a tad superstitiously
leery. Having said that, me thinks I'll spend
the day in bed today . . . got me a new book
for x-mas, after all!

so need a bed day
pray take me to neverland
riding to my dreams

12/29/18

What an amazing time, this whole wrapping up of
a year just lived. Here we are post Yule and x-mas
and soon to welcome New Year's Even and day! We
sit back and bask in the good memories as well as
wince with chagrin at the bad ones . . . probably
because we caused them in the first place! In my
yearning for the new year to begin, I remind myself
that this time 'twixt the holidays is such an important
time of reflection. We've all grown up with the
impending homework of writing our New Year's
Resolutions. I have come to believe that this interim
of time is study time, preparation time. It's important
to put some thought into our desires, dreams and goals
for 2019 before we commit them to paper. I'm so
there! I'm thinking, planning, opting, wishing as
hard and as fast as I can. I pray I choose carefully and
and mind my business for longer than the usual two-
week period. Here's to a rather wondrous 2019!

pray hope wish and plan
may i be a better gal
acting on my dreams

12/28/18

A day abed . . . such fun, such guilt! Is this what
retirement is all about? I awoke at my usual 4:30
a.m. well rested and enjoying the memories of
the night before. I did some work on the computer,
treated myself to breakfast in bed and there and
then decided to treat myself to a day abed. I can
remember in my teaching years just how glorious
such a day could be. Alas, it couldn't be celebrated
in a state of purity as there were children to be fed
and men to be tended to . . . to say nothing of work!
Nonetheless, I've treated myself before. Still, ayer
was the max! I read the entire day! Kill me now
'cuz I've seen Nirvana! Of course there were phone
calls and food to be brought to bed with me, but
oh, what a day! Now, my entire body hurts and
urgently needs to rise and shine . . . still, 'twas fun
while it lasted!

ive seen nirvana
trip to the heavens taken
so loathe to return

12/27/18

Last night was pure magic! My man invited me to
spend a few hours with him by the fire he had built
in the living room of the cabin. I lit a plethora of
candles, engaged some delicious esoteric music;
viola . . . magic was upon us. I remind myself, 'tis
moments such as these that we shall ever remember,
even perhaps, take to the grave. Ever more important
than the professionally wrapped gift purchased at
the last minute to comply with tradition . . . for as
long as I live, I will never forget last night. At some
point, he said he thought we should raise a toast; I
thought . . . no better time, a night of magic and
happy contentment, hell yes! I'll raise a toast! . . .
 . . . to him!

night of flaming fire
romance mystery magic
my soul is sated

12/26/18

In a single day, we go from magic to the mundane.
Yet, I find myself strangely looking forward to the
upcoming 2019. I imagine 'tis in the post x-mas
blues that we all begin to look towards the future
and commence to form those pesky new year's
goals and resolutions. I've always believed this must
have something to do with having eaten and perhaps
drunk too much on Christmas day. The sheer regret
of it probably brings on pre-new year's resolutions
anxiety. I've promised myself to go for a simpler
approach next year. When I was a kid, I'd always
go for the 10 commandments, as it were . . . but
now, perhaps I'm old enough to look at the truly
meaningful, that which actually matters. One thing
that keeps cropping up is, "Live in the now." I've
always been a champion, fixate on the past and
plan for the future kind of gal . . . completely giving
the present a miss. Here's to me having a think and
a happy ruminating to us all!

where to go from here
forget the past and future
need live in the now

12/25/18 - Christmas Day

If ever there were a holiday, a holiday much argued
over, celebrated differently by each and every, a holiday
of joy and sorrow . . . 'tis your friendly x-mas! We
decided this year to do something entirely different.
We intend to honor the child within . . . all the way.
So, at 5:00 this a.m., we had ice cream in bed. At
6:00, we had eggnog ('Course it was spiked!) and
now, at 7:00, we're going to watch a western together.
It's our intention to see just how many x-mas rules
and regs we can break and simply have the time of
our lives. We're not even doing pressies! This is
going to be interesting and I may just have to report
out! Merriest to you all, and pray you honor the child
within!

oh santa santa
i so want x mas in bed
pray bring me some nog

12/24/18 - Christmas Eve

I've always been a proper date gal . . . by that I
mean that I like to celebrate on the actual day of
any given event. Obviously, I'm open minded to
the point that I'll celebrate any time asked, but
that often means I honor the real date on my own.
Case in point, special Sunday familial luncheon
became our Christmas Eve this year. We gathered,
one and all, from parts unknown. I prepared a
delish Mexican mean per the request of my Army
grandson; my son played guitar and my daughter
sang; we at until the cows came home . . . not
sure I'll ever recover! Viola! Christmas Eve made
to order. But of course, my man and I will indeed
sit by the fire tonight, put on some winter music,
and sip a bit of that delectable wine my son gifted
us. Still, I be I'll find myself missing those beloved
souls who celebrated with us on Sunday. For us,
'twill always be, two holidays for the price of one
since that's how my family rolls! Now, don't even
get me started on those double calories . . . I pray
allof us have a marvelous eve of celebration
tonight, each in our own special way . . .

remembering us
a christmas even any time
missing you tonight

12/23/18

Reconnecting . . . such an interesting word, instantly
fills the mind with connotations, memories and even
sometimes angst. We were blest to spend yesterday
with old friends, not seen in years. It was as magical
as Aladdin's Lamp with moments of sweet sorrow
and delicious remembrances. I've been thinking about
memory, as well as memories, of late. It's fascinating
how you may not have thought of something in years
and simply by revisiting a loved one, sharing tales out
of school, suddenly the soul is flooded with emotions,
thoughts, ideas and memories not recalled for years.
As we grow older and memory becomes an issue,
perhaps what is missing are these connections that
allow us to hark back to moments long forgotten. I'm
left with this feeling of sneaking under the Christmas
tree to peak at the forbidden . . .

visit neverland
we loved once upon a time
pray remember me

12/22/18 - Full Cold Moon

I am overwhelmed with sorrow. I just read an account
and saw video of a man emptying water and throwing
out food left for those walking to the border. I simply
cannot stop weeping! Has our depravity no end?! I
always thought that basic human kindness could exist
parallel to whatever be one's political persuasion. What
will become of us? What will be our end? If we are
incapable of the most basic of human decency, what is
even the point of our existence? The gods must shake
their heads and weep! I'm with Dorothy; I want to go
home and me thinks it isn't here!

theres no place like home
but someone has stolen it
give it back give it

12/21/18 - Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice, such a special day, long awaited for . . .
We chose to celebrate the eve last night, sitting by the
fire and sharing a partial bottle of lbd, Little Black Dress.
It's hard to believe but, a year ago, we did exactly the
same and there finalized our plans to permanently move
into the cabin. Today marks that one year anniversary;
I hate to confess, there are still five or six boxes in my
tiny office waiting to be dealt with. I remember telling
my son when we moved into the cabin on April 1st that 
we'd be completely moved out by Beltane, May 1st.
Now, I truly understand the meaning of April Fools; 
poor kid, he's been great about it. I forgot to factor
in that I'm nigh onto a 100 years old. What makes
this December 21st so special? Not only is it Yule, 
but we will also have a full Cold Moon and a meteor
shower . . . a magickal three to celebrate. Yule is
also the first day of Winter, and although not my
fave season, still the days begin to elongate. Here's
wishing you Yule tidings, a wondrous Winter Solstice
and I pray you enjoy the full moon and meteor shower.

a magickal night
so many gifts for yuletide
happiest to all

12/20/18

Cada caveza es un mundo . . . or, so we say in
Spanish. A rough translation might read, every
head is its own world. I find it interesting that
I continually run into this concept in daily life.
Perhaps there is no truer statement as none of
us view life and its happenings in quite the same
way. We all house different opinions on religion,
politics, education, relationships, sex, work . . .
Frankly, it's amazing we get along as well as we
do. I imagine that part of the puzzle lies in the
way we were each brought up. Another might be
the religion, or lack thereof, that our parents
introduced us to. We are, of course, affected by
our educational background and influenced by
friends and lovers. This is an old, old argument,
"You say tomato and I say tomato . . . " 'Tis
interesting as well, that in so many relationships,
opposites attract. I imagine none of us get up in
the morning determined to be as absolutely
closed minded as possible! In fact, in the whole
opposites attract theory, we probably strive to
give our children a more openminded viewpoint
than we espouse. I imagine we all tend towards
priding ourselves on being openminded, but are
we really? In my own life, I find that I'm very
openminded about the things that I approve of
but, I can be quite closed and/or critical of those
which I do not. It may be no big deal, open or
closed, but bottom line . . . being straight with
oneself is paramount.

lie to me baby
no interest in la verdad
no truth intended

12/19/18

Telling tales out of school . . . no one likes a
tattletale! Yet, from time to time, I'm sure
one finds oneself in that difficult position: to
tell or not to tell . . . I found in the 43 years
that I was teaching, that I was often privy to
information simply because as a teacher, one
is aware, not because of anything shared with
me. Early on, I made the decision to honor my
students first and let things be, as it were. It
truly mattered to me to have my students'
confidence as well as their best interest in mind.
Still, looking back, I have to wonder if this were
the best choice. Could I have helped that young
soul with drug addiction, had I told on him?
For sure, I always shared that I realized what
was going on and encouraged the kid to get help.
I offered to walk him to the nurse's office to sign
up for classes, support, programs . . . whatever
was needed. Looking back, I realize I often made
the right decision, but others?! Many are the
times I wish I weren't an empath. No one likes
knowing other people's business just because it
is perceived. I pray the gods grant me wisdom,
to tell or not to tell . . .

right or wrong or both
so tired of looking back
ever questioning

12/18/18

Perhaps Yuletide season is one in which we
particularly remember the gifts Mother Earth
bestows on us. Every morning begins with an
amazing sunrise and ends the day with those
unforgettable good nights! Lady Luna, then
gifts us that incredible moonrise each evening.
Sometimes the beauty is such that I am moved
to tears! I even love walking down to my tiny
stream. By the roadside or not, it's ever so sweet.
I have such fond memories of hiking with my
family as a child. Colorado offers such grandeur
with its over 50 14ers. We even have the gift of
beautiful weather . . . my father used to quote
that old adage, "If you don't like the weather in
Colorado, wait 15 minutes." I'm not entirely
certain how to thank our Lady Gaia; I imagine,
giving back is one way. Honoring the recycle
program, and not only recycling, but reusing,
picking up that odd bit of trash that someone
unthinkingly allowed to fall. Hand washing our
dishes, laundering napkins, gifting used items,
garage sales over trashing . . . all good ways
to honor our great mother. May we always
walk the walk rather than just talk the talk . . .

dreams of our mother
in awe of lady gaia
honor her ever

12/17/18

Me thinks ACCEPTANCE must be the greatest
gift of all time. Obviously, it's human to critique,
if not actually criticize, the actions of others, to
say nothing of Mother Earth. "I'm too fat! You
are too thin! She's too picky! He's too aloof! It's
too cold to go outside!" So, I'm wondering if
acceptance and the power of positive thinking,
to quote Normal Vincent Peale, go hand in hand.
Can I actually accept a given without necessarily
being positive about it? Or, can I be positive, but
not necessarily accept? The reason I'm thinking
about these things, is I would like to be a better,
more positive, accepting person in 2019 and I
actually believe that acceptance is the key. I
remember my father being very accepting of
people exactly as they were. My guy is quite
accepting of me (although he seems to take
issue with certain football players). I don't
think is is something you can just stuff, as it
were. I believe you actually have to ACCEPT,
really, truly, or it doesn't work. And, if I'm not
careful, I'm going to end up with the serenity
prayer! So what are the steps? How can I make
this happen in my own life? Perhaps making
the decision to be more accepting is the first
step, followed by practice, practice, practice!
2019, here I come! Pray for me . . .

longing for better
from the core of my being
i so yearn to grow

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
~Reinhold Niebuhr

12/16/18

I've been pondering the act of forgiveness.
We, as the good people that we are, seem
to have little issue with forgiving others. It
might be hard some of the time, but per se,
we recognize fallibility as a norm, a human
trait. We put ourselves in their shoes and
find the necessary compassion within to
forgive. So, I ask . . . why, oh why is it so
hard to forgive myself? Intellectually, I get
that we make mistakes. We're human; again,
we are fallible. But NO! I must rise above the
fray! I need to live up to my standards, my
expectations! I seem to require, nay demand
perfection. So where does it end? When will
we come to the actual realization that we are
as human as the next guy and that we deserve
the same forgiveness we so bountifully bestow
on others? Alas, I don't have the answers, but
I'm going to try giving myself some of the
same positive encouragement and feedback
that I give my students. Who knows, I might
even catch myself a break!

father forgive me
forgive me for i have sinned
sooooo not going there

12/15/18

Truth . . . now there's a word in a nutshell!
I've been pondering the meaning of truth.
Is it . . . Personal? Familial? Universal? Does
it alter according to varying circumstances?
Not to forget the old adage, "One man's truth
is another man's lies." Without a doubt, there
are immutable truths . . . Colorado is a state.
White is the absence of color; black is all colors.
Yule is December 21; Christmas, December 25.
There are mutable truths . . . Jan and Mike are
married. Clark and April have two children. The
first snow is always in October. Universal truth
and Personal truth might as well be opposite
ends of the totem pole. Obama was the 44th
president of the US; Obama is Linda-Dale's
favorite president. Perhaps, the most important
realization for me in pondering the ramifications
of truth would be that it's not a word to be taken
lightly nor to be thrown about with impunity.
Truth matters; tell your truth . . . but perhaps
the realization that your truth and another's may
not be one and the same is paramount. Me
thinks 'tis time to come down from the high horse
and work on empathy and acceptance from the
position of an open mind.

wherein lies the truth
tis your truth my truth our truth
needs be honor all

12/14/18

December and the never-ending drinks . . .
I know, most of us indulge from time to time,
probably a beer or the odd glass of wine, more
than anything else. Still, December rather feels
like alcoholism waiting to happen. Every invite,
brunch, luncheon, dinner date, party, includes
special holiday spirits. There's x-mas cocktails,
mulled wines, and don't get me started on the
pure magic of spiked eggnog . . . not to forget
Chartreuse, that delectable, sinful ambrosia
made by the monks since the 1700s. Alas, I
have no magical formula. Drinking too much,
gaining that extra pound, will always be the
gifts from the trixtor elves. So, what's to do?!
For me, it's all about ENJOY but don't embarrass
myself in front of my guy, my friends, and my
hostess. (No comments from the cheering section,
please!) So . . . harking back to yesteryear . . .
gird up your loins, sally forth and conquer . . .
and . . . don't drink and drive. Happy hollidaying!

whats your pleasure maam
whatevers in that cute glass
live to regret it

12/13/18

I have been in love with vocabulary since I was a
small child. There was no food as delicious nor as
delectable as a glorious world crawling 'round my
tongue! I was most fortunate in that mine was a
family of reading . . . literature most sublime! We
were read to ever single evening. (Didn't get my
first TV until I had been married 10 years!) It wasn't
long before the nightly reading and sharing didn't
fill my soul; simply had to read on my own. I suppose,
looking back, it was rather an addiction. I went on
to be founder of the book a day club and was quite
delighted when my own children fell prey to the
addiction . . . I grew up in a delightful, bucolic setting
if we can call the outskirts of my small town that. My
family was impoverished and frankly, didn't possess
the wherewithal to constantly feed my appetite. Thank
God, as the result was a life-long love affair with the
local library. You know the contagion is arduous when
the librarians know you by your first name and you're
only a babe in the woods, as it were. Some books I
couldn't bear to return and I would re-new them as often
as allowed . . . from there I would simply cling to the
books and only return them a year later on free day.
Even now, I can recall the beleaguered looks on the face
of the lady at the desk when she realized she was letting
go of a keeper. I suppose the true epiphany for me was
realizing I could actually purchase my own faves and
never, ever have to return them. I remember keeping a
plethora of books on the floor by my bed because they
wouldn't fit on the night stand. Even now, my own adult
bedside, every comfy chair in the living room, noons and
crannies . . . all assailed by a pile or two. Last I counted,
my own library consisted of over 8,000 books . . .
classics, fiction and non fiction, religious, spiritual,
Pagan, children's, even cook books . . . me thinks there
is no cure. And, let me say this, the electronic device I
use to read in bed at night, simply isn't the same. It
lacks the feel, the scent, the essence of mystery when
cracking the spine . . . Lord help me!

out of heavens tomes
the gift of the written word
crawling round my brain

She was fascinated with words. To her, words were things of beauty, 
each like a magical powder or potion that could be combined with other 
words to create powerful spells. ~Dean Koontz

12/12/18

What is it about the gift of friendship that
continues to amaze day after day, decade
after decade?! I imagine this is on my mind
to some degree because December is a time
in which all of us are thinking about gifts . . .
both the giving and receiving. How priceless
is the gift of friendship. Here i am, nigh onto
70 years of age and it continues to amaze. One
might ask, "What have I ever done to receive
a gift of such enormity?! All I can say once again,
is how grateful I am to the gods for such a gift.
I would reiterate . . . I only pray I am worthy of
the gift of friendship. This gift always lurks near
but today it is on my mind because I have just
spent several hours with a couple of dear friends
who have once again left me speechless. I pray
that as we choose the presents we wish to share
at Yuletide and Christmas Even, that friendship
be the gift of highest priority. Sweet chocolates,
delectable wine, the finest port . . . all fun pressies
but not long lasting. Friendship, on the other hand,
reigns eternal . . . may we continue to share it.

fun yuletide presents
longing to open and share
let it be friendship

12/11/18

So, what is mother trying to tell me? I've made
an effort to talk to her at least once a week. I
made a promise that I would do so and mostly
I have kept it. But, it's only been recently that
she is appearing regularly in my dreams. Last
night I dreamt that my friend and her mother,
along with my mom, came to visit here at the
cabin. It was all very pleasant, amicable even.
Still, I don't get it. I would say she was in her
70's . . . not much older than me . . . still spry
and quite chatty. There we sat, the four of us,
the two elders and the two olders, if you will.
In deference to the olders, I served tea rather
than wine, although my mother would have a
glass from time to time. The two old gals sat
in my comfy chairs and we sat in a couple of
wooden chairs. It was odd in that my friend
lives in New York, our moms have passed,
we live in this tiny, 120 year old cabin, but in
my dream, we coalesced into a perfect state
of dreamscape. I want to know, nay, I NEED
to know, WHY? What was that all about?
Were they just checking in? Did they want
to know how we were? Did they need us to
know that they were fine? There didn't appear
to be any great message . . . but I somehow
felt bereft upon awaking. You can bet she's
in my thoughts now . . . and I impatiently
await the message . . . what can it be?

alas i await
lets not beat around the bush
tis me needs to know

p.s. I recall perfectly before my own father's
passing that he used to tell me he'd inexplicably
been missing his mother. She would come to
him in dreams and they would talk. He left us
not long after . . . rather scares the bejesus out
of me . . .

I think your dream tells you that you have received what you were asking for.  When we spoke you told me about the difficult experiences, feelings, interactions of caring for your mother through her illness/passage time.  You were looking for ways to let go of the pain and shame around it.

Then you wrote a lot about what is of value to you.  Like a Winter Magic gift list.  What happened in your dream sounds like it sums up your gift list.  Beautiful warm connection with friends, family --- easeful and both ordinary and wonderful.

So she shows up and has a lovely visit with you.  What better way to know that what you did was accepted and did what it needed to do?  (Maybe mom read your Christmas/Solstice/Light gift list and gave you your gift in the form of this dream?  "Oh, this is what you want?!  Oh, you want to let go of those old painful memories and emotions?  Here, have this!")  Beautifully done Magnificent Manifest-ess of self-healing!

Peace! Love! Appreciation! Rebeccah

p.s.  I love the way you invite opinion and then discern what is your very own sacred truth.  Thank you for the invitations and acknowledgements. ~Rebeccah White 

 - - -

Dreams come out on their own schedule. I see them as clarifying past mystories. ~Kathleen Ford

12/10/12

I imagine December brings about all sorts of
memories, feelings, sentiments known to man.
Watching the news this morning, something
I should NEVER do, photographs and comments
surrounding the infamous 'wall' appeared. 'Tis a
topic which encourages the old head in the sand
trick. There are truths that simply do not bear
thinking about and this is one of them. I don't
know where to go with this. I don't understand
how this has happened or what I personally can
do about it. I only know that tear stained faces
of the children and parents, the horrors of stories
shared and even worse imagined, keep me awake
at night. I offer no answers, only questions. I
remember how graciously I was accepted into the
Mexican culture, living there happily for 20 years.
I understand the concept of overpopulation. I get
that we took this land from the Native Americans,
fought for it, claimed it and proceeded to build
'walls' around it to protect it from various and sundry.
I know! I know!! I know!!! But still my heart
breaks for those families apart, children crying
themselves to sleep . . . praying that when they
awake the nightmare be over. All I want for
Christmas is NOT peace on earth . . . I want for
the sorrow at the border to somehow END! I
want it to be over, resolved, taken care of. I long
to die knowing that families are reunited and
hearts are healed. I pray . . . Santa Claus, God,
Gods and Goddesses, Higher Powers . . . please,
oh please reunite these families. This is sooooo
not the world I signed up to live in . . .

hearts beyond broken
tears dried up sahara waits
no room in heaven

12/09/18

Pondering pressies . . . truly I have been
thinking of little else since turning to the
last calendar page. God, I so love December!
I'm truly not the rush out to Walmart and 
buy x-mas presents kind of gal! I really
enjoy thinking outside the box when it comes
to gifts . . . and I really, really, really love
presents. I like gifts for every occasion and
in reality, I don't even need a reason. I know
that I make my friends uncomfortable; too
bad . . . not likely I'll change this late in the
day. I like sharing dupes; one really doesn't
need two of everything. Although I'm not
craftsy, I love making my own spice blends,
a few oils, even certain ash creations. This
year, I intend to share heirlooms from my
own store collected over the years,  a kind
of passing on the memories, if you will. But,
perhaps, most of all, I enjoy cooking for those
I love, opening a bottle (or two) of wine, telling
tales out of school . . . souls sharing moments
of love and friendship. If you know me, if you
love me, come on by . . . I'll cook for you . . .

celebrating us
our gifts of friendships untold
seasons and reasons

12/08/18

One of the things I simply love about December
is reconnecting. Reconnection has so many facets;
Christmas cards, Yule tidings, visits, parties and
getting together for lunch. Not to forget that
sometimes we are even moved to write long
overdue letters. I come to feel such an overflowing
of love, kindness, joy; I am simply sated! Last night
was a case in point; a couple from our area came
over for mole, a Mexican dish I tend to do during
the holidays. We are going through those delightful
steps of friendship . . . finding each other, getting
acquainted, enjoying each other's company and
trying new things on for size. So, I ask myself,
why do we have to wait until the holidays to make
this kind of thing happen? Obviously, we go out to
lunch, see friends, have the odd party throughout
the year . . . but it's December when we are so
moved to go the extra mile. If I am granted the
gift of 2019, I'm going to strive to bring a little bit
of December into each of the months. Me thinks
'twould be fun to see where that takes me.

tis holiday cheer
so loving celebrations
a gift of the gods

12/07/18

Yesterday afternoon I spent some time cooking
with a dear friend. The entire experience was so
enjoyable that I was reminded of the different
gifts food brings. Obviously, there is the gift of
anticipation. It's quite delicious thinking about a
friend coming over and all the fun you're going
to have preparing a meal. Yet, another part of the
anticipation, is the actual planning the cooking
and acquiring and amassing the ingredients. I
love all the parts of it; the foods laid out, seeing
what you forgot and getting it together, pots
and pans to go with the different parts of the
meal. Then begins the cutting, chopping, stir
frying, adding in the bits and pieces, along with
the tasting. I love the tasting . . . the textures
rolling around your tongue, gifting delectable
flavors and memories as you bring the meal to
fruition. And, I simply can't decide which is the
best part, the cooking together or the savoring
of the meal once it's finished. I love eating out;
there are many delightful components to that as
well . . . but, I'm not sure it ever compares to
the turning of your own kitchen into that magical,
alchemical kingdom of scents and sights, mess
and chaos . . . the pure magic of a meal shared.
a food for the gods
tis a taste of paradise
a sharing bar none

12/06/18

What is it about the past that both inspires and
haunts us? As we have spent 2018 moving from
my mountain residence into this tiny 120 year old
cabin, 'tis the question I have been pondering.
I've been adamant about keeping everything
to time and place as correct as possible. I feel
beyond fortunate that so many artifacts from my
grand parents and great grandparents have found
their way to me. When I find myself holding a
wineglass my grandmother may have hoisted in
days of yesteryear, I am transported. I caress
grandfather's pipe, dust a frame from WW I, take
a bite of pie from an age old silver spoon and I
am humbled. My ancestors, my very own elders,
fought the wars, smoked the pipes, ate on the
hand painted plates and rocked in that special
chair. I still think of myself as that little girl, the
young wife and mother, that inspired teacher, a
mover and shaker of my era . . . and here I am,
nigh onto 70 years of age. When did this happen?
Will my children raise grandmother's crystal to
me when I pass? Will my grandsons rock in great
grandmother's chair? Will my unborn great grand
children break the china? Alas, I do not belong to
these new ways and days of chrome and plastic . . .
Me thinks my soul is very well suited to my sweet,
old, ancient cabin. If only the walls could talk . . .

bygone memories
sepia tone phogotraphs
ages colliding

12/05/18

As I approach nigh onto 70 years on this planet
I realize a kind of letting go needs to happen in
the arena of one's own hopes and dreams. It is
important NOT to embrace this concept as a giving
up, but rather an acknowledgement of the rational.
For example, I will never bear another child, but
I thrill in my own children and friends of their age.
I won't return to teaching at my high school, but I
much enjoy teaching small classes in Paganism at
my cabin. I can remember my mother telling me
to watch my language. Alas, now it's me . . .
reminding myself to be positive, let go of the
negative and strive for all that is within my reach.
And I intend to do exactly that! I'm going to let
go of the negative, the impossible, the unreachable
and embrace my children, my friends, my man
and whatever is left of this life that the gods have
granted me!

time to say goodbye
letting go of yesteryear
hello tomorrow

12/04/18

As I have pondered the topic, I realize I don't 

seem to have any issue with letting go of what 

I would consider offenses against me. I seem 

to understand that these things happen, I try 

not to take them personally and I let them go.

My issue seems to be not being able to let go 

of my own shortcomings, especially when they 

affect how I feel about myself. The usual sins, 

as I seem to perceive them . . . too much to drink, 

raising my voice to my mate, overeating,

being a bit impatient with someone who means 

a great deal to me . . . all seem unforgivable to 

me on some level. My man often says to me, 

"Don't be so hard on yourself!" I love that! I am

impressed that he gets it . . . now if only I would 

get it as well! Bottom line, once the problem is 

identified, it needs to be dealt with. Let's see how

that works out!

forgiving myself

others yes but no way me

out of the question

12/03/18

I imagine we've all heard the old adage, "Timing is everything."
I know it, I've known it all my life, but somehow I didn't know it,
know it! I've been talking about letting go for several years and
yet here I am, only now finally, truly ready to address the issue.
Me thinks I needed a swift kick to the backside to jumpstart my
own procrastination. Yesterday, I embraced the subject via FB
and had some interesting insights shared. Strangely enough,
one that most impressed me came from Face Book itself . . .

"I refuse to go back to the old me. I
am becoming a much better person by
using my past experiences as lessons."
Attitude to Inspiration

Needless to say, if you're watching for it, wisdom can be found
most anywhere. So, consider me watchful because I intend to
find the wisdom to let go anywhere and everywhere I can!

letting go at last
a true lesson in timing
finally ready

12/02/18

Letting go is an art I never learned. I've never
understood the actual physical process. I get
that it's important, needed, required for personal
growth. But, I simply don't know how. Here I am,
nigh onto seventy years of age (When and how did
that happen?!), and I still don't get it. I shared this
with a friend yesterday. She suggested that since
I didn't comprehend letting go, perhaps I could
transform the essence of what I needed to discard.
She intimated that transformation is actually another
side to letting go and my mind might be able to cope
with it better. Her insights sparked yet another idea.
If you have found a clearer understanding of this
concept and are comfortable with the idea of sharing
your thoughts, please do so here . . .

so need to let go
somehow i don't understand
lead me by the hand

12/01/18

December, welcome! We've been waiting eleven
months for you to arrive . . . and yeah, I'll admit
it . . . sometimes I read the end of mysteries first
so I don't have to be nervous the entire book! So,
December . . . decorate the tree, mail the x-mas
cards, wrap and hide the pressies, start thinking
about the menu, forgive and forget . . . so many
things to get done before the day actually arrives!
And not to forget, but are you a Christmas Eve kind
of person or are you the actual, wait until Christmas
morning, type? You'll laugh, but I solved that little
problem by celebrating Yule instead . . . December
21st, first day of winter. So, what is Yule exactly?
Yes, I know, we grew up hearing the terms Yule
and Yuletide greetings, and some even used them
interchangeably with Christmas and other sundry
phrases. Yule is actually one of the eight Pagan
holidays, you know . . . along with the first days of
spring, summer and fall, May day and Halloween?!
So, whichever be your persuasion, Merry Christmas,
Happy Hanukkah, Sweet Saturnalia and Yule tidings
of great joy to you! Bottom line . . . long live December!

holidays await
so love me some december
wheres the mistletoe

12/01/18

Smiling as I read this, for its own sweet sake, and also because it got me thinking about my own "big day".  It's the Christmas Bird Count, always on the third Saturday in December, and the one day all winter when I have visitors. This will be my 30th. It begins around 4:00 a.m. when I wrap myself in a warm blanket and sit outside for two frigid hours listening for owls (three species last year). Then I shower and put out plates of food and people begin to arrive around 7:30 - the count leader always with a jar of local honey for me. We spend the morning tooling around our designated circle in search of birds, sometimes in sub-zero temperatures, then return to the house where lunch and cordials await by the wood stove. Once we're warm and sated, we depart for another area a few miles away and race to beat the setting sun. We return to the wood stove to make sure that we've counted all the birds (24 species is a respectable count), and to retell of the ones that surprised us (one year 100 Bohemian Waxwings eating juniper berries). The tally will be delivered at a chili dinner where competitive birders drip with jealousy, disbelief or disappointment. All this feeds into over 100 years of records that are painting a stark picture of how climate change is affecting birds. Other than that, it's a wonderful celebration of nature with good food and old friends...what more could a person ask for?

~Audrey Boag