10/13/18

Tana French reminds us in her novel, The Likeness,
that we can have anything we want as long as we
accept that there is a price and it will have to be
paid. I can't help but wonder if there's a snowball's
chance in hell I can actually learn that lesson BEFORE
my birthday next week. I imagine it's not bloody likely
but I would like to think it's possible. I love life!
I enjoy people! I revel in all things forbidden and
I have to learn my lessons over and over. But, does
it count as learning if overindulgence happens again
and again and you have to pay the price each time?
I believe I can actually count on one hand the times
I've been able to say, "Oh my God, I got away with
it this time!" And, it's not that I need to join the forces
of the straight and narrow, it's just that I would like
to take myself in hand and learn to behave . . . although
I can't help but wonder if that wouldn't take all the fun
out of like?! Nan, me thinks I'll take my chances!

you better watch out
you better be good not bad
santa claus says so

~Linda-Dale Jennings

"Take what you want and pay for it, says God"
~Tana French

10/12/18

Catching up with my oldies and besties may
be the very best part of October. Yes, I love
my b-day and Halloween, but there is something
so magical about seeing once again the much
loved people in my life. Obviously, we can't spend,
nor were we meant to, all our time socializing.
I think the word I'm seeking is balance. It all
matters, right down to cleaning the house and
paying the bills! OUCH! Still, connecting with
family and special friends must be the after
dinner dessert of life. Right this moment, in
my October, I feel such gratitude for these
gifts . . . the gifts of unique, glorious, wondrous,
incredible people . . . I bow to the Universe.

phenomenal peeps
most wondrous souls seeking mine
blest beyond measure

10/11/18

As a child, I used to play what my mom called,
Dress Up Lady. My mother and grandmothers
would gift me their old jewelry, old purses and
old party dresses . . . and not to forget their old
high heels, the higher the better. I had a special
chest for all the paraphernalia. I loved it all, from
the chest that held the heels to the last piece of
jewelry. Once in a while, I would put together an
outfit that would even make my dad chuckle and
then he would take a photograph. Today it's me
who has the chuckle when I look at them. Of late,
the retired me who lives in a 120 year old cabin
and dresses in outfits I think should be referred
to as fatigues, has a rare Dress Up Lady occasion.
I choose a special garment, add in nice shoes and
fun jewelry, and find myself right back to my five
year old self playing the game. I have to wonder
what special outfit my own daughters will choose
for me when I have to play Dress Up Lady for the
angels in the wild blue yonder.

how pretty you look
whats the occasion missy
tea with the angels

10/10/18

I find myself reveling in October.
What is it about October that makes
it so special? Obviously, the fact that
it's my birth month, soon followed by
the most fun holiday of the year might
have something to do with it. It's been
warm enough that not even a sweater
is needed, yet yesterday and today, we
woke up to a skift of snow. Everywhere
you look, there's vestiges of Halloween.
I find that little kid excitement building.
I want baby pumpkins, funny gourds and
yellow flowers on the table. I need flickering
candles and hot coffee with a little something
in it as I sit by the fire. October is the epitome
of magic! October ROCKS!!!

witchy days are here
gusty winds bring phantom ghosts
come and play with me.

10/09/18

What is it about us that we require such definition?
It's in every corner of our beings . . . Children or
empty nest? Christian or Pagan? College or high
school educated? Democrat or Republican? Gay
or straight? Introvert or extrovert? Married or
single? Old or young? Rich or poor? When we
fall into conversation, we often find ourselves
defining the corners of our minds with the above
checklist. I have to wonder if it wouldn't be more
interesting if we talked about other subjects.
Isn't it amazing what some of the African tribes
are doing to enhance water conservation? Have
you seen what other countries are doing with
plastic water bottles? Isn't it interesting how some
of the trends in education today are changing
drastically from when we were in school? Does
it really matter how much you weigh? Can it
truly be of importance which sale you last
attended? I want to know YOU! I want to
understand what makes you tick. I really don't
care if you're properly married or just living
together.

by definition
all the p's and q's sorted
so who am i now

10/08/18

It is October and as Halloween is soon upon us,
I have a question. Do you ever talk to the dead?
I never really thought of it before . . . my father
is someone I could always talk to and although
he passed, lo these many years ago, I still talk
to him. I greet my mother and brother, from time
to time, but don't really talk to them, per se. No,
it's my father to whom I chat, telling him my woes,
my sorrows and fears. I hadn't given much thought
to the normalcy, or lack thereof, of such an action
until a few days ago. The subject of Halloween and
the ensuing talk of decor, parties and the inevitable
dead came up. I said something about telling my
father about a certain happening we were talking
about, and I fear I rather startled the gal I was
visiting with. So, before I take myself off to the loony
bin, just thought I'd ask if anyone else indulges in
these chats of a rather different nature!

chatting with my dad
whether here there or beyond
makes it all better

10/07/18

Funny thing about solitude . . . as I shared earlier,
I enjoyed some much needed solitude on Friday,
simply reveled in it yesterday, but now I'm ready
for hearth and home. Having said that, I've been
blest with yet another day and I find that I'm not
needing it nor wanting it. I have to laugh at myself.
Here I was thinking how wonderful a three-day
weekend would be, and yet, I'm finding day three
a bit much. Is it that by the very nature of the beast
we're never satisfied? Or, is it simply that truly only
a short get-away was needed? Maybe, it's like our
meals . . . we enjoy a proper dinner of various and
sundry, but only have a small dessert afterwards.
I doubt very much that any of us would care for just
a couple of bites of steak followed by an entire cake
for ourselves. My grandmother used to say, "Plenty
of salt followed by just a tad of sugar." Perhaps that's
the way of life as well.

demasiado
azúcar y sal de más
empalagado

10/06/18

What is it about solitude that is so
absolutely delicious? I've never quite
understood it, only know it's worth
just about any price. I love people!
I adore my family. I have a relationship
I much value, so why the need for
solitude? I suppose part of it is
psychological as it happens so seldom.
Wouldn't we all agree that, that which is
rare is often cherished? I need do nothing
spectacular when alone. I enjoy sitting
in front of the fireplace with a cup of tea.
And, if it's later in the day, a glass or two
of wine doesn't come amiss. A fire seems
to purport a need for silence, quiet time,
thought and contemplation. I find that I am
enmeshed in a glow of contentment after
a session of solitude with my fireplace. It's
almost as if I can face anything thrown at
me . . . I have been give the power! And no,
it doesn't have to be a fireplace; candles are
the most magical implements in the entire
world . . . simply can't live without them.

solitude for hire
my soul whispers its demand
cheap at any price

10/05/18

I found myself in a situation yesterday where I was
forced to go into a large store. Obviously, 'twas need
and circumstances, not someone at the other end of
unfriendly persuasion. I'm trying to think back . . .
did I ever like to shop? I think I most probably did.
Especially in Mexico with its open-air markets, small
shops and interesting vendors. But, I find myself simply
overwhelmed with claustrophobia in the grandiose stores
of today. I understand that we sometimes need them,
the one-a-month grocery buy, bits and pieces for this
project or that. But, per se, I find them difficult to frequent.
One feels all this energy in full surround sound. The sobs
and cries of unhappy children, young women in a rust to
purchase and be off, families counting out their shekels
to see if they have enough to pay for what they need to
buy, and those in that boring game of buy today only to
return on the morrow. There are times when I find myself
weeping inexplicably, which then worries everyone around
me. I just found out that there are a couple of companies
that deliver . . . I may have to avail myself of that service.

why are you weeping
do you have enough money
get me out of here

10/04/18

This morning, I find myself all aquiver, as my grandmother
used to say. I get to see my dear, dear friend once again.
We taught together, some 20 years, in the same district and
high school, when I returned to the U.S. Now, five or six
years later, living in different states, leading different lives,
I find myself asking those eternal little girl, middle-school
questions . . . Are we still really friends? Will we have things
to talk about? Will it be uncomfortable? Will my heart be
broken once again when she leaves? Rather makes one wonder
if we ever actually grow up? And, on a higher note, I give
thanks to the gods that I have been gifted friendships such as
these. Far better to have had the friendships, lost them through
geographical changes and evolution, than to never have had
them at all. I realize that many have never even shared the gift,
a true loss indeed.

great loves of our lives
friendship a true gift of time
anticipation

10/03/18

Being the most unbalanced Libra I've ever
known, I keep thinking the little kid in me
lives permanently on a teeter-totter! October
rather lends itself to the image, doesn't it?
Vestiges of Summer, but Autumn's crowding
in. A much needed fire in the afternoon means
it's too hot to sleep at night. I find myself
longing for celebration but a bit on the lazy
side for doing anything about it. Me thinks
I need to win the lotto and have a chauffeur,
go figure!

tis unknown longings
autumn is a mix and match
a whirlwind at best

10/02/18

I've been pondering October and that she means to us.
Miss October dresses herself in her Halloween best, sales
forth with her own hijinks, scare tactics and amusements.
It's a good day when we can get a kick out of her parade of
costumes, trick or treats and shenanigans. I actually find
it nigh onto impossible to walk around a corner without
being scared Mr. Goblin isn't going to jump out and startle
me to death. Still, the little kid in me just loves planning
my own get-ups, parties, get-togethers and even treats.
Forget the tricks! Okay, mostly forget the tricks! I could
tell stories . . . So, what to do between the first and last
days of October? I think I'll begin by perusing the second
hand shops and seeing just what I can put together this
year. Who knows, a witch may be required at any moment.

who to be this year
my own witch awaits within
real or just pretend

10/01/18

Finally! I thought October would never come!
Have you ever noticed how close to a gestation
period it is before Miss 10 arrives? God! Always
late to the party . . . Sooo, what do we need to know
about her? Yeah, she's a 10! She's part of the Autumn
Squad. She always invites that witch Miss Halloween
to any number of celebrations. She does have a lot of
friends . . . I think they're called something along the
lines of Chilling, Creepy, Eerie, Scary, Spooky. Some
of them are even double-barreled . . .  Blood-Curdling,
Hair-Raising, Spine-Chilling . . . treat them with respect!
Guess I'll just have to wait and see what kind of shenanigans
she pulls this year . . . I always have to wonder if I'm even
invited! Doesn't matter, I know how to gatecrash with the
best of 'em . . .

yay miss october
you're welcome to party
halloween awaits