Apr 27, 2020

04/27/2020

From the time I was pre-teen, I heard
adults talk about 'finding themselves'.
I was fairly curious about the statement.
I imagine I was taking it literally. In time,
I came to understand exactly what they
were talking about. Still, I've come to
believe that this doesn't happen in one
fell swoop! We learn about ourselves by
simply living life and paying attention.

As a child, I had only one doll at a time.
Each Christmas, I got a new doll. If I had
kept the old doll as nice as the new doll,
I could keep it and give the old one away.
I remember going to a small shack with
my dad to give my old doll away. I was so
overwhelmed with their poverty, I gave the
little girl my new doll. We sat on the floor
and played with them, me with my old doll
and she with the new. From this, I learned
that I have a generous nature.
One day, my dad measured both me and
my best friend. My bestie was a tad taller.
I burst into tears. From this, I learned that
I have a competitive nature.

Upon hearing gossip, I would defend - loyal.
Visiting a new place, i like to explore - curious.
My guy paying too much attention to another
gal - jealous. Seeing shoddy work - disdainful.
Comparing prices - penny pincher.

Our actions, at different ages, under different
circumstances, give away our natures. All we
have to do is pay attention. I find myself pleased
sometimes, others, vastly disappointed. Really,
we know who we are. Learning to accept oneself,
striving to grow, patient with ourselves as much
as we are with others; 'tis the way . . .

so trying my best
exhausted with the effort
understanding me

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