Mar 7, 2020

03/07/2020

lonely
affected with, characterized by,
or causing a depressing feeling
of being alone, lonesome

destitute of sympathetic or friendly
companionship, intercourse, support,
etc: a lonely exile

lone, solitary, without company:
companionless

solitude
the state of being or living alone
seclusion: to enjoy one's solitude

remoteness from habitations, as of
a place, absence of human activity:
the solitude of the mountains

remoteness from habitations, as of
a place, absence of human activity:
the solitude of the mountains

a lonely, unfrequented place:
a solitude in the mountains

I've been thinking! I know, I know . . .
the first sign of danger. Maybe it has
something to do with being a libra, but
I have two sides to me. I love people,
enjoy their company, delight in them.
On the other hand, I not only appreciate
my solitude, but need it, relish it, revel
in it.

And then, there's a day like yesterday.
I had waited a long time for this solitude.
I wanted to wallow in it, savor it. And,
against all odds, found myself so lonely
I could hardly cope. It was bad enough
that I actually called a girlfriend; alas, no
answer! She must not have been at home.
And you may or may not know, that I
never use the phone . . . 19 of my 20
years in Mexico without one.

I find that indeed, there are no plausible
solutions. I can hear the voices now . . .
"Man up! Deal with it! Remember who you
are!" At least, I was smart, I didn't drink.
I didn't allow myself to return to old
paradigms. I did some reading, wrote for
a while, made every effort in kingdom come
to run like hell from those negative, pesky
thoughts.

Maybe, just maybe, that dash of much
needed love will come my way and scare
the dragons away.

am running scared here
mother mary come to me
tis my hour of need

No comments:

Post a Comment