06/30/18

'Tis the end of the month; payday/errand day.
Funny how it always makes me feel so good
to end one month, hopefully on a good note,
and begin another, fresh start, as it were.
There is a certain satisfaction accomplishing
all those errands that allows one to start off
a new month successfully. Nonetheless, I
always feel a bit of the traitor getting so bedded
down with the mundane. Where is my spiritual
side? Where are the things that really matter?
I guess I need to accept that the well-maintained
mundane provides a solid base for the spiritual.

earn my daily bread
pay tribute to lord real
a new beginning

06/29/18

We had class last night; it's one we have
twice a month on the new moon and on
the full moon. We usually chat for a bit,
have the class and end with a new moon/
full moon ritual. This time, however, we
ended up simply talking rather than having
the proper class. It was so relaxing and
most enjoyable. I was also impressed that
neither of us seemed to have any guilt
about it. I'm pretty strict with myself, most
likely a teacher thing . . . learning new things
here!

full buck moon in june
so much beauty once a year
heals my heart and soul

06/28/18

I chose this locura of giving up my home
and life, as I knew it, to move into this
1887-1889 cabin for the rest of my sojourn
on Mother Earth. There are times when i
call myself crazy and others, fortunate. I
imagine 'tis a tad of both. Nonetheless,
each and every day, I feel more at home
here. I suppose it has something to do with
time spent, items moved in, getting used to
the whole idea. Still, 'tis one last, amazing
adventure and I'm 'in' for the duration.

an experience
in and out of an era
here for the long haul

06/27/18

I picked up perhaps the last load of familial
photos from my son's house yesterday. I
like to frame them age appropriately and
set them 'mongst the shelves of my library.
They bring to mind so many memories,
both real and imagined. It's also a time to
rid myself of some that I should have done
years ago. I pray the sorrowful memories
die along with the shredding, although I
deem it unlikely.

heart remembrances
memories best forgotten
others soothe my soul

06/26/18

Of rest and relax I sing. 'tis as if the
weekend were magically extended 
a day by some kind of magic. Since
the world in general seems to so
strongly dislike Mondays, perhaps
we should add it to the weekends
permanently. Such a proactive
solution!

i could like like this
not just anther monday
lets all celebrate

06/25/18

Spending a few precious hours with
my children yesterday reminded me
of the beautiful, bright blessings they
bring into my life. Oh how I love them.
I've always said I would happily give
my life for them and now I'm trying
to live for them. I'm making every
effort to capture courage for the
duration and make that promise last
as long as possible.

dreams of my children
this life rather than after
gives true love new hope

06/24/18

My x-wife invited us to my step-grandaughter's
first year birthday party. She has done this kind
of thing consistently since I entered and left
their lives. I consider her head of the clan . . .
a real woman, someone I would like to be when
I grow up. I am proud to know her; I honor her
in my heart . . .

a woman's woman
she's a queen among women
i so honor her

06/23/18

A quiet day of rest; a day lost in dreamland.
Me thinks 'tis exactly what the doctor ordered
and I feel the better for it. There is nothing in
the world quite like spending time wandering
amongst the pages of a good book. I sometimes
lament not being an author myself. Nonetheless,
I love being on the other end of a good read.

of pirates i dream
princes lovers and mischief
buried in the depths

06/22/18

In reminiscing about the solstice yesterday,
'twas truly wonderful to be reminded that
summer is really here and we'll get to enjoy
it for several months. I would have to confess
that it's my fave season and I wish it could
last longer. I do understand that it's the
limited time of duration that makes us
appreciate it the most.

tis summer at last
so in love with the season
brings warmth to my soul

06/21/18 - Summer Solstice

A phenomenal afternoon with friends
seldom seen and much missed. Rather
revives that misplaced sense of wonder.
I can hear the laughter now, see that
tiny swirl of red in the wine glass, and
that sweet scent caught in the hugs of
hellos and goodbyes still remains. I
glory in the gift of friendship, knowing
'tis something that not all experience.
A treasure, tried and true, the ultimate
gift.

my heart swells with joy
as yearning for life returns
feeling long missing

06/20/18

A day most amazing . . . an unexpected box
of wine arrived from my wine company. As I
only get four boxes a year, I called them up
and asked what was the occasion. Turns out
they had asked, via e-mail, if I would like said
special promotion box. As I didn't reply no, the
box was sent. Interesting way of doing business.
So, I think I'll cancel my membership with them
today.

From there, perhaps bad to worse, my cousin
split a small caramel with me. She explained
what it was and insisted 'small dosage, and only
half after all'. I think it could be said, MJ virgin
that I am, that I was gifted with an experience.
I overreacted to something with my man, left
the bedroom, but that wasn't enough. I drove
off in a huff to Walmart and we all know I loathe,
abhor, hate, despise, spit on commerce per se,
but Walmart?! `¡™£¢∞§¶•ªº–≠

I returned home; the effects passed and I realized
what must have happened. I explained my epiphany
to my man and he actually tended to agree with me.
Perhaps the episode will be overlooked, if not
actually forgiven.

an experience
learning me in my dotage
tis personal growth

06/19/18

It seems the days creep by or fly at the speed
of sound, yet I know perfectly that time is time.
It's always the same, can neither be hurried nor
slowed; just seems that way. Wouldn't that be
an actual argument for living in the moment
rather than wishing for the morrow or longing
for yesterday? We have been given these truths
since childhood, yet it seems we only integrate
them into our being as we come of age, as it
were.

hey mister sandman
time flies when you're having fun
turn the glass over

06/18/18

'Tis Monday morning coming down,
to coin a phrase. Rather makes me
glad I didn't indulge in the annual
Father's Day partying. However, I
did bring my man picnic basket in
bed. It was so much fun and rather
sweet . . . although I do have a date
with Mr. Vac this a.m.

a promise to self
investing in the good times
erasing the bad

06/17/18 - Father's Day

I can only imagine today in the lives of many . . .
thinking about, remembering, wishing, loving.
I am beyond grateful that I was one of the
lucky ones given a father to love and adore,
one who truly cared for me. I know there are
others who were not so fortunate; may God,
the other father, hold them close today of all
days.

remembering dad
truly great love of my life
daddy father god

06/16/18

I struggle between the need to live
in the present and the need for
memory therapy. It's so important
to learn to live in the now. I get that.
But the joy in mulling over memories
past, is both delightful and delectable.
Perhaps, the problem lies in wallowing
in yesterday's sorrows rather than
recapturing the joy found when paging
through yesteryear's picture book.
Does it come down to balance?
Surrender? When in doubt, do both?!

joys and sorrows found
yesterday and the morrow
seek balance of both

06/15/18

My son and his girlfriend came to spend
the afternoon and evening with us yesterday.
We spent the afternoon in the library and the
evening in the vardo. It was ever so much fun
and simply made my heart sing. The men
went after pizza so we women were able to
visit. It was a gift to spend solo time with her,
listen to an amazing experience she shared and
walk away grateful to the universe that the two
of them found each other.

stories shared hearts glad
family gifts heart to heart
rock my world in joy

06/14/18

I am exhausted! Yet another night in which
I close not my eyes. I wonder what the
Universe is trying to teach me. I long to
know what it wishes me to ponder. To what
am I being asked to pay attention? I am
your student; teach me, if only that I may
rest!

sleepless yet again
longing for a night of rest
pray when will i heal

06/13/18

I have a fiendish habit of lamenting
yesterday and longing for the morrow.
Sometimes I rather forget all about
today and what it matters. It's rather
late in the day to be learning new
tricks perhaps, but I'd like to try. I
am determined to recognize TODAY,
enjoy TODAY, live TODAY. I recognize
it might be difficult as today is really
a new friend, but I'm going to try!

today is my song
i will sing it all day long
lyrics delightful

06/12/18

I confess to a small hiatus in despair.
There are days I think I'll never finish
with this moving business. I barely get
things placed and yet more boxes need
to be dealt with. This is what happens
when you move from a five gallon bucket
into an eighth of a teaspoon. I knew what
I was getting into, have no regrets, but
God! How does one woman have so many
possessions?! If I'm not careful, I might
actually learn a lesson here!

the days pass slowly
moving in out and around
when will it be done

06/11/18

Not sure exactly why, but I've been doing
this thing where I don't fall asleep until
around 3:00 a.m. The rest of the time is
spent wrestling with my demons, thinking
about things that would be better left alone
along with all my other impossible dreams.
What's that all about anyway?!

sleep or not to sleep
dream the impossible dream
that is my question

06/10/18

We went to my stepson's b-day celebration
last night. I was somewhat pleased that I was
able to party hearty without my usual ld antics.
This whole re-inventing myself is a ton of work,
let me tell you. I find myself in the midst of
deciding and clarifying who I want to be when
I grow up. This aging business, seeking wisdom,
getting ready for the next step, is heady business.
I become exhausted just thinking about it and
recognize that perhaps I'm ill prepared for the
endeavor.

dancing with demons
yes most if not all my own
please stop the music

06/09/18

'Twas a most wondrous day!
I always feel that way then the
Stone Sisters get together. I
find the conversations priceless
and on the bad end of the stick,
I imbibe too much but if you
were there, you would get it!
I think of the Michelangelo,
God reaching out to touch man . . .
and that is exactly how I feel.
These women reach out and
touch my soul; healing can't be
far behind.

in the land of the lost
our kinship brings a finding
so rich in friendship

06/08/18

A lovely day of friendship, sharing, song and food.
'Twas a day pulled straight out of heaven and just
what I needed. I tend to forget the wonders of
friendship until it simply explodes all around me.
That the gods gifts such as these!

of friendship i sing
celebrating our women
wonders to behold

06/07/18

Yet another pile of books found and housed
God in heaven, how many books can one
woman possibly have? Still, 'twas fun, as
well as useful, housing them. My sig-o put
up the last tea-cup shelf and my mimi book
case. I'm lusting after a hanging plant . . .
good thing the library doesn't have a jane
or I might just move it!

so loving her space
lusting after our lady
which book shall i choose

06/06/18

What a delicious day! Truly watching
Our Lady Arcadia coming together is
tantamount to viewing a birthing. My
son located one last box of books for
me yesterday. At first I was annoyed
as I had already finished that part of
the library. But truly, it ended up a
pleasure looking at each book, a yay
or a nay in the keeping of it, the
careful placing of it on the shelves,
observing the name tag and if there
were several by the same author,
making certain they were in order
as written. Step back, and wonders
to behold! Pull up a chair and simply
delight in the process as much as the
finished product. A library is born!
And her name is ARCADIA!!!

holding books in hand
the gift of the written word
boon of a lifetime

06/05/18

I finally housed the last box of books
in Our Lady Arcadia. There is something
so sweet about the final removal of
packing boxes from a beloved space. A
quick vacuum job, finish hanging a few
pictures, make sure the tea cups are dusted,
a couple of baskets of magazines and behold
a library is born. I simply had to sit and look,
really see, all that surrounded me. Such was
my joy that I wept copiously.

holding them closely
my shakespeare and cervantes
in love with the two

​​

06/04/18

I've hit a snag . . . only one more box of books
to house and all I want to do is decorate. I put
the box behind the chair and let it rip. The
transformation from a late 1800's/early 1900's
garage to a functional library has been its own
Cinderella story. I simply couldn't wait, with
only one box left, to get this show on the road.
It's a tight fit but it works. My mind's eye can
easily see hours of pleasure, some solitude, a
few classes and much joy in the future. Who
knows, maybe today I'll house a few more
books; think I'll go for the poetry!!!

joy in the morning
comes from opening a book
pray give me a few

06/03/18

Catching me in the midst of hanging the
last of the art in Our Lady Arcadia . . .
organizing the last of the deets and one
last box of books to house. It's been so
much fun, really, recreating this much
missed space. Here at my tiny, tiny cabin,
'tis more than essential!

a delicious space
a dream made reality
joy in the making

06/02/18

I always loved and enjoyed my home
in the mountains. Yet, I have come to
believe there is actual magick at the
Lady Hekate. It's been a long haul
moving in, repairing, fixing, building,
but, that's to be expected. It's interesting
though, the comfort I feel in the library,
Our Lady Arcadia. I have to hope, believe
even, that there is actual healing taking
place there. I can only pray this is so . . .

walking through portals
longing for a miracle
feeling the magick

06/01/18

Our Lady Arcadia is truly a creation in progress.
Each and every day she becomes more perfect
in every way. My sig-o has finished installing the
three-footed tea cup display and only one more
box of books to be placed. The children's books
are binned and at last, all has been vacuumed.
A dear friend graced this glorious space with her
presence and spent some sweet time with me
there. We shed tears, shared tales out of school
and imbibed some red. My heart kneels in awe
before the goddess of wisdom and her part in
bringing this dream to fruition.

a few books well read
in love with the written word
a space in my heart