3/31/2020

We've been ever so good . . . obeying
the national quarantine utterly. But,
finally had to go out to pick up my meds.
We were directed to a different pharmacy
than my usual; it was like walking into an
entirely different world. Masked guards,
ever vigilant, indicated the appropriate
doors, separating those ill from those in
need of medications.

Once inside, a masked army of beings,
unknown in prior experience, greeted
with thermometers in hand, separating
the sheep from the goats, I mean . . .
separating those ill from those of us
for meds.

Dark blue tape on the floor, indicated
the appropriate six feet of acceptable
distance of separation. Lines of poor
souls, each going down different halls
for different purposes, were visible as
far as the eye could see. It was an eerie
feeling, as if being caught watching a
horror flick and suddenly being devoured
by the same.

Masked, coated aliens approached the
lines with clipboards and questions,
ever checking . . . We, the offenders,
trembling in our collective boots, nervy
and worried that we might accidentally
disobey in some unexpected way.

At long last, I find myself in front of
an enormous dividing glass, my meds
slid through a hole for the purpose and
payment demanded. Guards approached,
indicating! pointing!! gesticulating!!!

I found myself funning for the pickup,
trembling, sobbing . . .

Just call me Dorothy . . .
 . . . and I want to go home!

ever so sorry
i pray forgive me and mine
what did we do wrong

3/30/2020

I can't help but wonder . . .

 . . . sitting here in ghostly fashion
at my own wake . . . what you actually
thought of me whilst I was amongst you.

I remember . . . some of you were
acquaintances; maybe I was mostly
friends with your spouse, Others were
proper friends; sometimes with both
you and your mate. And yet a few,
just that tiny few, were more along
the lines of soulmates. My heart
bursts at the thought of just how
lucky I was.

Obviously, I don't calibrate things quite
like I did in life. Nonetheless, I find myself
curious as to what each of your huddled
groups are saying. "She was fun, wasn't
she?! But man, she could be so serious
sometimes; drove me crazy! Well, I did
like the way she read the Tarot; gave
me a lot of different insights. I sure loved
her Mexican cooking . . . "

 . . . Oh my God, what a crazy, crazy
dream! Let me get the sleep out of my
eyes and finish waking up. Still, if I think
about it, maybe it was a warning of some
sort. Does it mean I'm coming to my own
end soon? Or perhaps, I need to get my
shit together?! Am I supposed to take this
as a warning? Does this mean I need to
make some amends? God, I hate dreams
like this, or does it qualify as a proper
nightmare?!

Sitting here, pondering . . . I feel rattled!
No, no pun intended. I need to give this
some more thought . . .

wisdom come to me
the meaning of life or death
or maybe its both

03/29/2020

Touchstone

1: a black siliceous stone related to flint and
formerly used to test the purity of gold and
silver by the streak left on the stone when
rubbed by the metal

2: a test or criterion for determining the
quality or genuineness of a thing

So . . . who is this man that graces my life?
Why does he mean so much to me? Why is
he such a comfort to my soul? Does this
have anything to do with us knowing each
other since we were three?

Every now and again, I am faced with such
wonder that I must ask the questions . . .
I have indeed known him since we were three.
We had the same babysitter. We went to
school together for a decade. He was my first
beau, my first kiss . . . with 35 years in the
interim.

In a perfect world, we would not be well
matched. We are nothing alike. We don't
share similar experiences or world knowledge.
There is no, "same song, second verse" about
us. Yet, there is something . . . something
a bit magical!

I can't help but wonder if this bit of miracle
is aided and abetted by age?! We obviously
aren't the same people we were at 15 or
even 35. But, perhaps what wouldn't have
worked then, works at 50 - 70

Bottom line; I thank the gods for the miracle
that is us, for my touchstone . . . he is, and
ever will be.

a love never sought
unexpected miracle
love found nonetheless

03/28/2020

Things to do in Quarantine . . .
(I promise, this is NOT about alcohol!)

*A home-grown beer tasting; needs to be
about six different types.

*A champagne Mimosa in the early morn;
perfect accompaniment to a gourmet brunch.

*A glass or two of red sitting by the cozy
fire.

*Be sure and bring in the vodka from the
travel trailer for Screwdrivers.

*Bringing snacks and cold beer to bed just
to help one cope with the murder mysteries.

*Drinking margaritas whilst lying in bed
watching old movies.

*No thanks; I find I've never liked Martinis
anyway!

*Oh a Manhattan? Thanks, I've never tried
one; should be interesting!

*Oh my God! My cousin makes home-made
booze. I wonder if yours beats his?!

*Sticking your clothes in the laundromat,
eating pizza and drinking cold beer in the
car while you wait.

*Writing long-overdue e-mails to well
missed friends . . . obviously, coffee with
Bailey's is in order!

I solemnly swear NOT to become an
alcoholic during quarantine . . . right,
making the effort, I am! I am! I wonder
where the nearest AA meeting is?!

quarantine effects
so don't need to drink per se
makes a difference

03/27/2020

Strolling through FB this early morn, I find
it a bit of a smorgasbord of temptation. All
those beautiful people for starters, and the
portrayal of an enticing world for enders.
Sill, my faves will always be photography
of amazing subject matter and phenomenal
quotations.

I do realize the quotes can be a bit trite,
if not downright absurd. They require
thoughtful reads and re-reads, making
certain to actually get the meaning and not
being cunningly seduced into a frivolous
world. And yet, there are those thoughtfully
written words and verse that contain a
world of wisdom in its entirety.

I find myself thrilling at the rhetoric of the
old masters, their wisdom and thoughts
invaluable . . .

"He who is different from me, does not
impoverish me, he enriches me."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"And ever has it been known that love
knows not its own depth until the hour
of separation." ~Khalil Gibran

"Wise men speak because they have
something to say; fools because they
have to say something." ~Plato

I enjoy the musings of the younger set,
trying their new-found wisdom on for
size . . .

"If we own the story, then we can write
the ending." ~Brené Brown

"a woman who loves ,is powerful. a woman
who loves herself ,is unstoppable."
 ~Billy Chapata

"And then one day I realized, I had scars
the shape of wings." ~S.C Lourie

And, once in a while, I even try my own
hand . . .

"If you don't know the entire story, be silent."
~ldj

"Poor God . . . I feel so sorry for him. He get
gets blamed for ever so many things that aren't
even his fault." ~ldj

"The gods are playing touch football with my
memory." ~ldj 

Here's wishing those pearls of wisdom on all
of us. God knows, we could all surely stand
to think a bit deeper, take a second glance,
think outside the box.

i must have a read
enamored of written words
fills my soul with joy

03/26/2020

I love being and living in my tiny 130 year
old cabin! It's wondrous; charming and
magical. We tend to go out once or twice
a month for groceries and to treat ourselves
to a meal out. From time to time there might
be other circumstances that get us out, but
not many.

Now here's the rub . . . We've only been in
quarantine for ONE DAY and I already fee,
not the urge, but an actual need, to go out.
Go figure! Me thinks 'tis something to do
with the whole lusting after the forbidden!

Not quite sure just how I'm going to be
able to handle this on the long term; feels
more than a bit claustrophobic! I miss our
neighbors/buddies/FACers. I find myself
missing friends dropping by. I miss the
autonomy of freedom. And of course, I also 
recognize the importance of the quarantine.   

So yes, I do intend to obey . . . not a term
I'm particularly familiar with. Just call me
Mistress Mary, quite contrary, along with
my thanks to Mother Goose!     

love to come and go
so longing for my freedom
just because i cant 

03/25/2020 New Moon Esbat

Amazing . . . at o' dark thirty, it happened
again! I truly believe my guy is doing this
amazing and wondrous act of waking me
with fire and champagne because my
Triad is quarantined. Oh my God . . .
how I adore this man!

I do indeed know I've talked before
about the new moon and its significance.
Having said that, it bears repeating! The new
moon is an amazing moment in time; make
no mistake. It reminds us of the NEW in our
lives and all that this symbolizes.

The new moon grows every single day.
just a wondrous bit, slowly but surely
until it becomes full once more. So, what
possibly can this mean for us? The actual
daily vision of growth, right before our
very eyes, is an illustration, if there ever
was one!

How can I grow today? What can I do to
become a better person? Where do my
loyalties lie? Where do I fit into this
amazing spectrum? Do I choose to grow,
diminish or remain the same?

The new moon inspires; it grows just that
incredible bit each day. Why cannot we
be the same? What do I need to work on?
How can this magnificent illustration by
Mother Earth inspire me?

Obviously, the search for perfection is not
only improbable, but impossible! Still,
there are things I can work on to become
more whole. And bottom line, isn't that
the entire meaning of life? Isn't that what
we are virtually all about?!

I commit on this day, the day of the new
moon, to become a better person. That
being quite general, how does one move
on to the specific? Obviously, one could go
entirely nuts with those long, threatening
lists . . . but, what about three?

a) I want to grow physically, mentally and
spiritually every single day left to me in this
life.
b) I truly want to treat others as I wish to be
treated! (Think Golden Rule!)
c) I wish to actually LIVE rather than EXIST!

Obviously, these self-imposed delusions will
NOT happen in a day or even a month. They
reside in the life-long ambitions category.
Nevertheless, this is what I want! What's
wrong with that?! Some things to work on
and so be it. God help me!

so wanting to grow
longing for personal growth
wholeness the answer

03/24/2020

Hypocrisy is something I absolutely abhor,
loathe, despise, detest, hate, spit on!!! So,
imagine how I felt when I discovered it in
myself!

One of the things that annoys the hell out
of me is how modern technology seems to
have turned the majority of society into
the walking dead. Isn't there a term for
that? Zombies perhaps?!

You can't walk down the street without
seeing about 90% of the people with an
additional ear and talking to themselves.
At home, entire families are glued to either
the television, the computer or cell phones,
or perhaps all three. And, you can forget
families sitting down together for an
evening meal sans electronics.

You're talking major pet peeve for me
here . . . and then I made the mistake
of thinking about this in terms of my own
behavior. Guess who spends a great deal
of time on the computer throughout the
day?! Oh, but that's alright, because I'm
researching for my classes or writing
letters or composing poetry. And, it really
doesn't matter because my guy is watching
a western or a game anyway.

Man, that discovery actually hurt! I'm not
a phoner . . . hell, I still have minutes on
my cell from three years ago when I bought
it. But, I damn well better own up to the
fact that I enjoy e-mail, Facebook, and
the occasional You Tube. Talk about a
hypocrite! I am one!!!

Bottom line, I've got to do a couple of things.
Think I'd better get off my high horse and
stop having mental criticisms of others . . .
and it sure wouldn't hurt to curtail my time
with the World Wide Web a bit!!!

so ashamed am i
standing tall on others necks
getting down from there

02/23/2020

Staying in touch is so important to me,
vital in fact. I used to enjoy writing letters
on a daily basis. Loved sending cards . . .
and then the internet came along and
gifted us e-mail and e-cards . . . . a gift
somewhat suspect, actually!

So, how is it in a brand new world with FB,
cell phones, e-mail, e-cards, that staying
in touch is still an issue. Me thinks I need
to get of my lazy ass and get to business.
And, don't get me started on cell phones.
I really do not like talking on the telephone.

I look back over the years, pondering all
those wondrous friendships. And today,
there is a tithing of sorts; many, many
less people in one's life. This has to do
with life itself, and even perhaps, age.
There is no wrong-doing here. People
come and go, all doing the best they can.

Obviously, life, real life, daily life, is an
issue. It occurs to me that the answers
might come to mind if we actually LIVE
daily life. "Do not dwell in the past, do
not dream of the future, concentrate the
mind on the present moment." ~Buddha

Bottom line . . . live in the present! Love
and enjoy those with whom you are blest
in your present life! And yes, I do want to
return to letter writing, albeit by hand or
using e-mail. The important thing to me
would be staying in touch . . . it sooooo
matters.

cards letters notes mail
patiently await mailman
staying in touch rocks

03/22/2020

I'm thinking! I'm thinking!

I absolutely love all the brilliant memes
on Facebook. I even get a bit of a kick
out of some of the humorous ones. I also
much value and appreciate that Facebook
provides an easy way in which to stay in
touch with friends all over Kingdom Come.

Still, I find much sorrow in Facebook's daily
crime updates; Man's Inhumanity to Man . . .
quite difficult to deal with. And yes, I read
the news everyday and make an effort to
stay in touch with the real world . . . if not
reality itself. No, I'm no Pollyanna, not
even a Matilda . . . but, where do I go from
here?! How does one actually live in this
'real world'?!

I am not only flummoxed, but grief stricken.
Sometimes I fear I will ultimately be unable
to cope. Thank the gods and my guy for
wondrous days like yesterday's early morn,
or I might never make it.

I guess it all boils down to the whole . . .
take life a minute at a time and pray for
the best! Where's Mistress Mary, Quite
Contrary when I need her? Maybe, I'll
develop a taste for comedy, heaven forbid!
But, anything to help cope with all this
sorrow.

sobbing in my sleeve
where are the gods when needed
pray the sorrow ends

Note:
Man's Inhumanity to Man ~Robert Burns
Pollyanna ~Eleanor H. Porter
Matilda ~Roald Dahl
Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary ~Mother Goose

03/21/2020 – Ostara

Indeed, I am gloating . . .

Yes, I do know that Ostara came two days
early this year for the first time in Kingdom
Come. But, my guy recognizes the dates
I have always put forth.

He woke me up at o' dark thirty and said,
"Happy Sabbat, baby! Let's go down, build
a fire and toast with champagne!" Oh my
fucing god!!! How the hell could you ever
beat that! The man fucking R O C K S !!!

He did indeed build the fire and open the
champagne. He suggested I light the candles
whilst he was doing so. We watched the
sunrise as the birds trickled in . . . black
cap chickadees, house finches . . . both
male and female, juncos, nuthatches, and
stellar blue jays. The trees are so over laden
in snow, sloughing off from time to time;
quite astonishing really! Me thinks the man
has a connection to deity!

Not satisfied with perfection, he brought
me breakfast by the fire. I sear, I have
been celebrating the sabbaths for 35 plus
years . . . and nothing, and I mean . . .
NOTHING, can compare to this one!
Sooooo adore this man!

celebrating spring
ostara at its best
my guy fucking rocks

03/20/2020

Beware: a rant cometh . . .

Obviously, I recognize that Winter is
a necessary evil. I honor the architect
of our seasons, but if I had been the
artist creating the masterpiece that is
this world, I think I would have simply
left it out entirely!

I think I could actually deal with the "W"
word better if it would just bow out when
its time was over . . . but to snow 17
inches on the first day of Spring, is just
plain rude! And, it's STILL SNOWING!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

We can't get out at this point. And, that
whole hand shoveling at 70 is a bit much!
So glad I'm not the male of this family!
No comments necessary . . . I know that
was a sexist remark, however, my guy
wouldn't be caught dead letting me shovel.
Thank the gods!

I hear we're expecting more snow . . .
been nice knowin' ya!!! "So long, farewell,
auf Wiedersehen, good bye . . . good bye!"
I am sooooo outta here!!!

am ever so cold
mister snow is killing me
its been a good ride

*Notice I said, "It's been a good
RIDE!" I didn't say anything about
sledding, skiing, tobogganing!!!
That merits another grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

03/19/2020

I feel so sorry for God!

He gets blamed for everything. I hope
he has a fine sense of humor or tunes
out his ears from time to time!

Yes, I do know that there are many who
actually thank him, credit him for our
many blessings. Still, I think the vast
majority tend to blame him for our woes.

I don't know if God, the gods and goddesses
exist or not. It is my understanding that
this is something we take on faith. And,
if we have no faith . . . well, that's another
story entirely!

Whatever the truth turns out to be, I do
hope we can learn to take responsibility
for our own actions rather than casting
blame upwards . . .

my obligation
who am i to blame someone
shoulder my burdens

03/18/2020

Running scared . . .

What amazing times we find ourselves
in! Especially in the Occident, we haven't
truly known anything like we're going
through today.

I think perhaps, that I'm not as frightened
as I should be. Does this come from age,
resignation, a 'what will be, will be' attitude?
I can't help but wonder where do we go
from here? What happens now? What did
we learn from this?

I've watched wonderful clips of musicians
playing from their rooftops, their balconies,
to send love and light to their neighbors . . .
and thanks to the internet, the entire world.

Teachers everywhere are offering phone
and/or internet help to their students.
Neighbors are lending a hand to the elderly
and a more careful, thoughtful world is
being born in front of our very eyes.

Isn't it interesting how calamity such as we
are experiencing just now, brings out the
very best and the horrific worst in people?
And, who am I in all of this? What have I
learned about myself? Is is something I can
live with? Am I doing my ancestors proud?
Much food for thought! Wow! Just WOW!

i thought i knew me
who is this gal ive become
birthing a best me

03/17/2020 – St. Pat's Day

St. Pat and I have something of
a long-standing feud. Obviously,
there are two sides to every story,
but I must confess, he has never
truly been my cup of tea. I've
actually spent several hours from
o'dark thirty this a.m. reading
on different sites and trying to get
a better understanding of the man,
if not the saint.

Having said that, so love the green,
the cards, the beer and the camaraderie.
March 17 is downright fun and always
has been! Sooooo, raise a glass of green
with me and salute the day in all its
glory.

Do send me any tidbits you've gleaned
over the years about St. Pat; I like to
garner both info and knowledge.

green green everywhere
lets raise our steins to saint pat
may i have this dance

03/16/2020

Versions on a theme. So loved spending
time with the kids, as I said before. Also
have been contemplating how important
family is and how much I miss all of them.
Having said that, I truly recognize that
there are friends who are family as well.

There are neighbors who become friends
and somehow turn into family. There are
co-workers we find we could hardly live
without. And, there are friends, long-term
and short-term, who have been born in
our hearts.

Somewhere, somehow, I find I need to
give thanks. I long to lay offerings on the
altar of friendship and write odes, verse
and rhymes to the theme. We, as a very
bereft mankind, would do well to remember
just how important these friendships are.
I have come to believe they contribute to
our sense of wholeness. Sooooo loving
them . . .

remembering friends
is it not valentines day
celebrate daily

03/15/2020

Best way to spend Sunday is with family!

I can remember, back in the day, when
this was fairly status quo. I think what's
happened is that in this modern-day and
age, we all live so far apart. It's lucky
that we get to have family reunions every
few years. I'm well pleased that the powers
at be have invented e-mail, Facebook, and
other various and sundry ways of staying
in touch.

I'm old enough now that I remember
sending cards and writing letters. Frankly,
I love them. I'm trying to encourage me
to get off my tired old ass and send a few
on a regular basis. I vote yes!

used to be so fun
tis priceless to stay in touch
different ways now

03/14/2020

A day with the kids in parts unknown . . .
Ever so fun and loving it. They are all
working together to make a move
happen. All I did was provide evening
drinks and try to get over my tat.
I haven't done as well with this one,
but I find myself hooked and loving it.

Did you even know I was so crazy?!

why so serious
so loving me some crazy
pray bring it on sam

03/13/2020 – Friday the 13th

One of the side effects of aging seems
to be forgetfulness. Of course, we all
forget things our entire lives, but as
we get older, we tend to blame it on
aging.


I make lists, my guy and I remind each
other. We use mnemonic devices. You'll
laugh, but even as I'm falling asleep, I
repeat things to remember over and over.
Since we have a system, we do pretty
wee. But, you can bet your life savings
that we always forget something!

This weekend, we're traveling in the
Lady Salem because I'm up for yet
another tat. We wanted to leave in
such a way as to avoid heavy traffic.
So, we loaded and ready to go.
We check our own lists and each
other's. We make about three runs
around the cabin to ensure we didn't
forget anything. We're good, right?!

Wrong!!! My guy forgot his sleeping
meds and to lock up his docs. I left
the bag hanging on the door knob
(You know, so I wouldn't forget it)
but bottom line, we ended up leaving
all the most important things. God
in heaven, it never ends! Oh wait,
Can I blame this on Friday the 13th?

One call to a bestie and the docs were
taken care of. Food can be bought any
where. But there were precious things
in that bag that can't be replaced.
Sometimes I despair. I promise not to
make a deal with the devil, but somehow
I need to find a way to spur my memory
onto bigger and better things! Help!

pray don' lets forget
make list check twice or thrice
help naught seems to work

03/12/2020

We spend our lives traveling, and in due
course, arriving. We do light traveling . . .
going to the grocery store, stopping by
the post office, running into Walmart.
And, for those of us who are lucky, okay,
pre-Corona Virus; there was Europe,
Mexico, Asia. Not to forget those places
in between; Washington, Utah, Arizona.
And in these travels, we actually arrive!

It occurs to me, we also spend our lives
traveling on a spiritual level. We strive,
we make progress, we deal with our
anger management issues, we learn to
be polite, we ponder gratitude, we suss
out the differences between contentment
and actual happiness. and, just like on
a physical level, we also expect to arrive;
destination!

And therein lies the rub. I had never given
it much thought, but in our spiritual
travels, we never truly arrive. It's an
ongoing process. You only have to look
at Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Buddha . . .
they would all tell us it's a PATH, not a
DESTINATION.

I get so discouraged . . . that whole
never arriving thing! I can't help but
wonder, if I had thought of it as a path
and not a destination, perhaps I would
have been more patient, more accepting.
I want to learn to appreciate the small
victories and not worry so much about
this non-existent arrival!

quest over haven
a pilgrimage of seeking
enjoy the journey

03/11/2020

A jaunt down memory lane . . .

When I was a little girl, I had
a broken glass collection. It
consisted of quarter size pieces,
each a different color. I used
to love taking them out of my
special basket, holding them
up to the light and seeing their
splendor. I cleaned and shined
them very carefully. It was
important to handle the pieces
delicately because on could
easily get cut.

A few of the other girls in my
class also collected glass. If one
of us had a couple pieces of a
given color, then we could trade
to each enhance our collections.
Thinking back, they were quite
unusual. Quite pretty, some
beautiful, all unique, and we
could actually afford them;
go figure!

I hark back to those days, that
experience, and remember a sweet
collection of what was beautiful in
my eyes. I ponder . . . why can't
I see the beautiful in the broken
pieces of my own soul? Surely,
there are bits that are remarkable,
others that are wondrous. And,
although some are sad, if not
downright sorrowful, do they not
come together in an amazing
mosaic?!

I find I must honor the artist who
so carefully collected those pieces
tried the different colors on for size,
and carefully placed each in a way
to create a whole . . . perhaps, art
in a different venue . . . but art
nonetheless.

learning to love me
some acceptance required
a price to be paid

03/10/2020

"What's in a name?" ~William Shakespeare

Worm Moon, Sap Moon, Crow Moon,
Crust Moon, Lenten Moon . . .

I'll take Crow Moon, if you don't mind!
The moon was beautiful yesterday at
o' dark thirty . . . but this morning at
4:00 a..m. purely STUNNING! Perhaps,
the most beautiful I've ever seen. And
bottom line, I need to see the meaning.

My guy rightly told me this morning, "We
compliment each other; you're a moon
woman and I'm a sun man and we both
enjoy both." His exact words; pure truth!

I understand the role of the sun in our
lives. There would be no life without it.
I'm thinking pragmatic, efficient, rational!
Rather male, left brain, if you will. The
moon, on the other hand, feels female to
me, right brain-ish. I need words that
surpass beautiful . . . alluring, dazzling,
magnificent! The appeal is to the etherial.
Perhaps its greatest gift would be balance.

I am also seduced by the crossovers . . .
so love the moon setting as the sun rises
and the sun setting as the moon rises.
Pure magic! And, not to forget the eclipses.
Obviously, Sir Science has much to say
about all of this. But, I like pondering the
more romantic notions . . . The sun and
the moon, distant lovers, finally allowed
to share a kiss. The sun in all its glory,
the moon in all its phases . . . pure beauty
in our otherwise mundane lives.

Champagne all around . . . here's to our
supermoon; raise your glasses . . .

give us a kiss miss
your night beauty entices
pray never leave me

03/09/2020 - Super Worm Moon

I so love the full moons! Three
so far this year and ten yet to go!

Our celebrity of the day, or should
I say night, is the Worm Moon. Add
in the fact that it is a Supermoon and
not even Superman could compete.
Our lady of the night meets perigee,
making her closest to Mother Earth.
The fact that April and May bring our
lovely dame back to the perigee table
is pure magick for me . . . three super-
moons, three months in a row! I'm
getting my wishes ready even as we
speak!

For those of us eternally in love with
our lunar lady, she is wondrous in all
her stages. Such beauty, so much
mystery; wow! We lunar fans have a
wondrous meditational technique . . .

Begin with the new moon. Sit quietly;
think about all those dreams you'd
like to bring to fruition. Select three,
a magick number in itself; it is both
realistic and manageable. In your
heart and mind, assign one to each
supermoon. You will concentrate your
efforts for your first dream this month
of March, the second dream to April,
the third dream to May; supermoons
every one!

Ascent:
Each night in meditation, re-commit to
bringing your dream of choice to fruition.
For the space of two weeks, work each
day on those things that can bring your
dream to fulfillment. Plan for a special
meditation at the full supermoon.

Decent:
The following evening begins our lady's
decent. As she diminishes her view in
our eyes, meditate on those things that
can get in the way of your dream. Make
a daily commitment to walk away, leave
those things behind. A dream is like a
garden. It has to be tended. The seeds
for the dream garden have to be planted.
They must be watered daily and the weeds,
the uninvited joiners, must be plucked out.
Watch your seeds burst through the earth.
Those tiny bits of green, growing each day
in plenitude. Oh, and when they flower,
'tis patently orgasmic! Don't allow anyone
or anything, especially yourself, to trample
your dreams.

Ascent:
Just imagine it . . . three months, three
supermoons, three dreams, three times
three . . . and you are making magick
happen!

awaiting your light
loving you lunar lady
pray visit tonight

03/08/2020

Tomorrow is another day . . .
one of my absolute fave truisms,
and just like that, the sorrow of
the past couple of days is passing.
I think about this, just as I did my
sorrow, as understanding is everything.

I realize, in my ponderings, it all
comes down to death. I lost a best
friend in January, one of my students
in February and now, a close friend
in March. It's no wonder my soul
finally said, "Enough!" and gave me
tacit permission to fall apart.

Something else I realized, being 70
the likelihood of loss is even greater.
Perhaps then, I need to look at death
a bit differently. In today's world, death
and the subsequent funerals, are being
replaced by Celebrations of Life! Some
would say, "Same song, second verse,"
but I disagree. How much better it is
to celebrate one's life rather than mourn
one's passing!

I think and I hope that sussing this out
in my mind will ultimately make the
losses in my elder years a bit more
bearable. Actually, my friends coming
to visit and commiserating with me is
what truly made the difference! Bless
them!

pondering through tears
so love me life over death
spare me the losses

Note: "Tomorrow is another day"
is the last line of Margaret Mitchell's
Gone With The Wind, 1936

03/07/2020

lonely
affected with, characterized by,
or causing a depressing feeling
of being alone, lonesome

destitute of sympathetic or friendly
companionship, intercourse, support,
etc: a lonely exile

lone, solitary, without company:
companionless

solitude
the state of being or living alone
seclusion: to enjoy one's solitude

remoteness from habitations, as of
a place, absence of human activity:
the solitude of the mountains

remoteness from habitations, as of
a place, absence of human activity:
the solitude of the mountains

a lonely, unfrequented place:
a solitude in the mountains

I've been thinking! I know, I know . . .
the first sign of danger. Maybe it has
something to do with being a libra, but
I have two sides to me. I love people,
enjoy their company, delight in them.
On the other hand, I not only appreciate
my solitude, but need it, relish it, revel
in it.

And then, there's a day like yesterday.
I had waited a long time for this solitude.
I wanted to wallow in it, savor it. And,
against all odds, found myself so lonely
I could hardly cope. It was bad enough
that I actually called a girlfriend; alas, no
answer! She must not have been at home.
And you may or may not know, that I
never use the phone . . . 19 of my 20
years in Mexico without one.

I find that indeed, there are no plausible
solutions. I can hear the voices now . . .
"Man up! Deal with it! Remember who you
are!" At least, I was smart, I didn't drink.
I didn't allow myself to return to old
paradigms. I did some reading, wrote for
a while, made every effort in kingdom come
to run like hell from those negative, pesky
thoughts.

Maybe, just maybe, that dash of much
needed love will come my way and scare
the dragons away.

am running scared here
mother mary come to me
tis my hour of need

03/06/2020

I find the anticipation, the waiting . . .
if you will, to be the most delectable
part of any event. There's that
imagination in full gear, the planning,
the running through it in my mind to
see what it looks like, what it feels like.

All this can be proceeded by a good
house clean, a buying spree, presents
carefully chosen and wrapped. I love
setting up the table when I'm nigh
onto ready . . . and does anything
even compare to lighting a slew of
candles a few minutes before actual
arrivals?! Well, maybe lighting the fire
tends to add to the mystique somewhat.

Nooooo, I'm wrong . . . if one can't
do all of the above, candles and fire
make everything alright! Want to
come over? Bring a few candles, o.k.
make that a dozen, and I'll light the
fire even as we speak!

so love the magic
yours in anticipation
lets live not exist

03/05/2020

Assume the position and say OM . . .

I have been in absolute awe of meditation
as gifted us by the Asian community for
many years. The physical beauty of the
meditational position for starters and the
absolute ability to sit still and drain the
mind for enders!

Make no mistake, I have attempted this
feat for many, many years. Alas, to no
avail! I'm still limber enough to sit in the
correct position. I can get comfortable
and begin. I can even drain my mind . . .
for about 30 seconds! And then I'm off.
Off to all the things I forgot to do, where
did I put my keys, what are we having
for lunch, did I mail the bills?!

I'm a highly intelligent woman along with
an occidental education, so what's the
problem already?! I do know that many
have somewhat mastered the art; I also
know that many strive on a daily basis
and feel they make little progress. After
pondering the issue thoroughly, I think
I've come up with a plausible idea.

Per se, I believe that meditation as we
have conceived it to be, is an oriental
gift. The Asian mindset, for hundreds
and hundreds of years, lends itself to
success in this arena. Perhaps, the
occidental mind is NOT gifted, per se,
with this ability. So, what to do? We
NEED something!

It occurs to me that we simply need
to look at meditation in a different
manner. Taking a quiet walk, sitting
in silence by the fire, reading a spiritual
essay and pondering its meaning and
value. These things may actually meet
with more success for the occidental
mind. Obviously, I have no idea what
works for you, but these alternative
ways of meditation have been a true
gift to me. Sooooo trying to think
outside the box here!

need a quiet morn
sauntering through the stillness
finding peace within

03/04/2020

Hark to the amulets . . . pondering . . .
I've been thinking, dangerous that this is!

Our babes are gifted the pacifier almost
from day one. Little kids move on from
there to a fave teddy bear or any comfort
toy. As children grow into teens, it's that
fave piece of jewelry, hair adornment,
key chain . . .

Perhaps, we don't think about it much,
but we as adults, young or old, have our
bits and pieces. Have you ever noticed
when you're missing your dad, you may
put on one of his shirts you kept? If you
find yourself sad, a cup of hot cocoa,
a la mom, perhaps. But always, we wear
that special ring, a particular necklace,
an ankle bracelet.

In looking around my tiny cabin, I see
any number, okay hundreds, of things
that bring me comfort . . . Wondrous
treasures from my grandmothers, that
special tool, or 13 that belonged to my
father, that funny old apron from my
great grandma. And, not to forget,
framed pics all about that bring me
comfort whenever I need it. Have you
noticed, we always sit in a particular
chair? Drink coffee out of a certain mug?
Have just that special amulet on our key
rings? Wear a specific pair of pajamas
when we're feeling low?

Bottom line, somehow or other, we never
outgrow our security blankets. We need
them, disguise them, but always keep
them near and dear. Frankly, I see naught
wrong with this. It's just amusing that the
idea of it cracked me over the head some
time around o' dark thirty this morning!

love me my keepsakes
comfort in a memory
gifts from other worlds

03/03/2020

I've been pondering the Real Thing.

We live in a time and place  where
everything is duplicated. There's the
Real McCoy and its dupe. In the art
world, seems we can't seem to enjoy
a copy; no, it has to be a real painting.

Yet, when it comes to Mother Nature,
many would prefer to watch a special
on the tele rather than spend a day in
the forest. It's simply easier and more
comfortable to sit back on the sofa,
sip that martini and watch in comfort.

In today's world of dupes ahoy . . .
it's diamonds and zircons, butter and
margarine, masterpieces and forgeries,
shekels and their counterfeits. I can't
help but wonder if this doesn't bleed
over into our own lives, our values,
or actions.

We have our at home face, the one
we present in our professional lives,
the presence we enact with bravado
to spark fear into whatever enemies
we deem real. It occurs to me that
the dog that meets us at the door is
the only creature to know and enjoy
our real selves.

I want real for me and not just for
the family pet. I swear by the gods,
I'm going to be searching for, and
finding, that real woman within until
the day I die. God help me!

loving me some real
way too used to counterfeit
pray open my eyes

03/02/2020

Where do I go from here?

I rather believe life is all about
awakenings rather than, "Have a
nice rest!" And to be honest, this
gives me pause. Bring out the age
old questions, "Who do I want to
be when I grow up? AmI willing
to sacrifice my all for this dream?
Are my finances, dreams and age
in alignment for this?

Taking a closer look at my feelings,
I like being 70. I enjoy living in a
130 year old cabin. I get along well
with my love; actually, I get a kick
out of us! Add in the wishes of being
young, thin and delectable again . . .
and I find it all somewhat silly, if not
downright suspect. Last, but never,
ever least . . . I so love my path!

Perhaps the last and greatest lesson
in life is ACCEPTANCE! Focus on
dealing with life as it is. Learn to enjoy
exactly where one has landed. One thing
for certain, I intend to find out, and if
I'm lacking in courage for a moment,
there's always a heart-to-heart with a
dear friend, along with a glass of red
by the fire.

learning my lessons
who to be when i grow up
love friends enjoy life

03/01/2020

Today, I stand in tear-filled silence
remembering the Salem Witch Trials
in Massachusetts in 1692 - 1693.
More than 200 people were accused
of practicing witchcraft; 20 were
executed.

It matters not our individual creeds,
political persuasions, familial heritage.
The entire concept of judgement and
punishment because another may
differ from our own belief system is
above and beyond the pale.

There are many such horrors today,
not just the witch trials of yesteryear.
Racism, anti-gay rights, kidnapping
of children, along with the thousands
of kids separated from their parents,
placed in war camp type holding cells.

Alas, I fear I don't want to live here
anymore. I don't want to be here
anymore. When, oh when, will we
come out of the dark ages and end
these horrors beyond horrors?! The
gods must tremble . . .

loathe the horrors fraught
return humane to human
getting out of dodge