07/31/2023

"If you feel

suspended from motion,

it may be that you

already mapped out

the part of your soul

that is ready to take flight,

it just needs a moment 

of stillness before

embarking on its purpose."

~janine tamis

I find I am weary . . .

I always look forward to July.

All the familial birthdays, the

celebrations and best of all . . .

 . . . summer, sun and heat are 

here at last!

Still, I'm ready for August.

A little cooler perhaps, a few 

less celebrations, a renewal 

of hope and spirit.

A glorious gift comes to us on

the morrow . . . August gifts us

a supermoon on the first of the

month and bids us adieu with 

a blue moon. 

'Tis rather like winning the

lotto of the ages . . . We must 

all endeavor to make the

entire month something

extraordinary!

07/30/2023

Yesterday was hard . . . even

harder than I imagined it would

be. Alas, handled it by imbibing.

Oh well; it is what it is.

Saying goodbye is always hard,

isn't it?! But, I was sooooo NOT

ready, even all this time later.

What I'm asking now would be,

"Do we actually have to say

goodbye? What is gained by it?

Is it really necessary?"

I still talk to my dad most days.

I notice when I'm praying or

meditating, I always end up

talking to my dad.

I'm not delusional. I'm not

pretending he's still alive . . . 

I just have had no need to say

goodbye.

So Julie, I realized yesterday,

when that stunning butterfly

visited the circle, you are still

with us. We'll talk from time

to time . . . or rather, I'll talk

and you'll listen.

Missing you . . .

07/29/2023 - ever and ever

Will the morrow ever come?!

I can hardly wait . . .

Not everyone RSVPd so not 

sure whoever is going to be 

able to come.

Can't help but wonder about 

when my friends might arrive! 

Most likely whenever!

So trying to think where I put

my wallet. Methinks where-

ever . . . Now, if I only knew 

where wherever might be!

Whatever happens tomorrow

is bound to be phenomenal.

Why ever not?!

Ever and ever; ever . . .

07/28/2023

"If there's one way to save some

one, it's by letting them know you 

love them." ~Sinéad O'Connor

Wise words from one who suffered

much. Rather breaks my heart; make

no mistake.

Why is it that we seem to forget to

tell our dearests and bestests that we

love them?! You'd never guess it by

looking at my guy, but he ends every

phone conversation with his children

with an, "I love you."

And, let's not forget, so many ways 

to say I love you . . .

"Be safe! Drive carefully! Call when

you get home. Know I'll be thinking

about you. You look spectacular today.

Remember when we . . . "

We've lost Sinéad and many other

loved ones. Were we able to tell them

we loved them before they passed?

Are there things we wish we'd shared

before they left?

Say it today. Say it now! Write the

letter. Send the card. Make the phone

call. 

There are simply not enough

I love yous in this life . . .

07/27/2023

One of the things I just love 

about summer are the visits 

from friends.

Seems we tend to stir a bit 

more when Mr. Sun comes 

out to play! So, having said 

that, I need to think just how 

I want to stir myself in these

 upcoming days of warmth.

I love sitting on the porch . . . 

Methinks this says something 

about my age or the era I came 

from. Many homes don't even 

have porches today.

Short walks are nice, although 

my road is not conducive to it.

I love taking rides, yet another

thing from my era. The price

of gas just might preclude this.

In looking at my words, I can

plainly see I'm drawn to things

of yesteryear. Can't help but

wonder if it's age or era related,

perhaps both.

Think I'll just go and read on

the porch. 'Tis a beauty of a

day out there . . . 

07/26/2023 - dedicated to J.S.

"Do not be dismayed by the

brokenness of the world. All

things break. And all things

can be mended. Not with time,

as they say, but with intention.

So go. Love intentionally,

extravagantly, unconditionally.

The broken world waits in dark-

ness for the light that is you."

~L.R. Knost

Awoke this rainy morn with 

the weight of the world on my

shoulders and the sorrow of

SAD in my soul. And then . . .

I saw this most wondrous quote 

that J.S. had left me. So yes, I 

believe in miracles, have to! It's

still rainy outside, but my soulful

sorrow is much diminished and

I am ever grateful!

Love to you J.S. and courage 

to me . . .

07/25/2023

Methinks one of my favest 

things in the entire universe 

is party prep.

That whole making the list 

and checking it twice . . . 

'tis moi in good w/Santa!

Getting the cabin spiffed up,

laying in the groceries, plan

my contribution, go bananas

trying to think of anything I

may have missed . . . all in

fine fettle. 

Then comes the do . . . most

wondrous! So love seeing all

my people, celebrating joy,

shedding the odd tear, hugs

all around!

You'll laugh, but the next day

is the most wondrous! Yes,

there's a hell of a lot of clean

up or whatever, but those

moments in time, forever

housed in my heart, priceless!!!

You can take out the memories

and have a good look at them!

It's like enjoying everything 

thrice over . . . love it!

I try not to think about that

time when I no longer have the

wherewithal to do this anymore.

Hell, I have plans for attending

my own funeral party! Bet I

can drink everyone under the

table . . .

97/24/2023

'Tis o' dark thirty and the entire

miracle of a new day lies ahead.

I can hardly wait to see what

happens . . . a bit of coffee and

breakfast out under an umbrella,

maybe a trip to town a bit later,

a good read on the porch . . .

Methinks looking at life a little

differently brings on the thanks

for everything mode. I find I'm

sorrowful at the thought that I

don't pay enough attention to all

the wonders life gifts. Going to

alter that!

I'm thankful for the light of day

summer brings to the table. A

dozen hours or so; most wondrous.

So the bugs bother a tad and then

I recall that's why God invented

bug spray. New ways of thinking!

I actually feel a picnic coming

on. Maybe I can make that happen.

Hell, if you put your mind to it,

almost anything can be made to

happen!

Are you listening ld?!

07/23/2023

This morning we sat out under 

the tarp and reminisced re the 

joys of yesterday!

What an amazing day with our

families . . . glorious, glorious

fun! Actually, gave whole new

meaning to the usual; eat, drink

and be merry!

Methinks I've gained another

fiver just thinking about that

table full of goodies . . . and

what goodies . . . sooooo not

joking! Good thing Gypsies in

July only happens once a year!

Such fun that all of this was,

I am reminded that each and

every day should be cherished

as were it the last. 

I much lament this bit of wise

comes to me in my dotage. 

Rather wish I had learned it lo

these many years ago.

Still, better late than never, 

right?!

07/22/2023

"Life is not measured by the number

of breaths we take, but by those

moments that take our breath away."

~Maya Angelou

Maya, ever so wise . . . I want to 

be just like her when I grow up!

The sunset tonight with oncoming

rain in abeyance, the day spent with

a friend I hadn't seen in a year, that

special burnt butter egg sandwich . . .

all glorious!

One of those amazing gifts given . . .

the recognition of all that is special!

Does it have to do with being nigh

onto a hundred years old? Maybe,

true insight comes upon us as aging

occurs?!

Loving all of these . . . yet, looking

forward to those gifts still to come!

I can think of several . . . my great

grandson learning to walk, visits

from my grandkids in the marines,

seeing all my fam living nearby.

I would have to confess . . . love me

all of the past, present and future!

Naught wrong with living in . . .

d) all of the above!!!

Feel free to argue with me . . . ha!

07/21/2023

Methinks the waiting game just

might be one of the most difficult.

Our friend is now two hours late here

at the airport . . . her phone's off and 

my computer doesn't work out here.

I would confess to being quite antsy.

At first you just think the plane's late.

Then you start thinking up excuses 

to keep checking the phone to see if 

it's been turned on. Next, ideas as to

why she's late.

Can't help but wonder . . .

Then I spy a stewardess. She is kind

enough to look up the flight and tells

me it's two hours late. That's now

and I find I'm much relieved.

Now comes the waiting game again.

This time it's for passengers to be

brought in and luggage to be picked

up. Alas, her phone is still not on

and she has no idea where we're

waiting for her.

That kid in me, the one that went to

high school with her, wants to shout,

"Hurry up! Can't wait to see you!"

Please, oh please, turn on your phone.

 

Yayyyyy! Finally got her on the phone. 

There may be hope yet.

Hey, isn't that her now . . .

07/20/2023

"Rest is not idle, is not wasteful.

Sometimes, rest is the most

productive thing you can do for

body and soul." ~Erica Layne

One of my friends shared this at

o' dark thirty this morning. Good

food for thought. Per se, we've

rather been brought up to believe

we need to be doing something

productive at all times.

And . . . didn't even Isiah say,

"No rest for the wicked?"

Obviously, we all rest from time

to time, especially night. Having

said that, my idea of true rest

would be a guilt free ride into

a proper relax!

For me, that would mean a good

book and maybe accompanied by

a nice drink of some kind. Praps,

sacking out over a good movie

or even a nap.

I suspect all of this has something

to do with balance, my arch enemy.

Equal amounts of work, play and

rest, right?!

I do have a secret hope this whole

balance thing, or should I say,

imbalance, gets worked out before

I pass onto the better life . . .

Go figure . . .

07/19/2023

"A soul place is a special site or 

spot where we experience unique 

feelings of belonging, empower-

ment and energetic rejuvenation." 

~Mato Sol

According to Mateo Sol, we each

have a place such as this. Think

about it. I'm pondering this even

as I write. 

Obviously, there have been a few

such places in my life over the

years. Still, I believe my cabin is 

one such place; likely the most

important. 

It is here that I talk with my dad.

Often, it's only greetings and I

love yous. But, there are those

times when I share my woes and

tell tales out of school. I find it

most comforting.

Friends who join us here from

time to time, have commented

on the surreal feeling here at the

cabin. The word haunted comes

to mind, but I'm not certain it's

the right one.

Methinks 'tis simply that those

who have lived here before feel

comfortable here . . .

Thoughts?

07/18/2023

"Some women are made of steel,

stones, tears, dust, bones and scars.

Others are made of books, music,

rainfall, stardust, moonlight, flowers,

day dreams and wild adventures.

The rare ones are made of both."

CampCorrals

Methinks 'tis just who I want to 

be when I grow up. . . 

I find the changes in women, and

their roles, in my last 70 years to 

be most interesting. From house-

wives to professionals, from high-

schoolers to college educated, from

a kind of sub-species to leader of

the pack!

I find myself in absolute awe of

this new breed of woman. She is

amazing, rather beyond belief.

Another thought . . . the young

gals coming into our world today

have a great deal to live up to.

I wish them well; I wish them luck.

Or, maybe luck has nothing to do

with it. More likely, determination,

personal growth and a great deal

of a sense of self worth.

May the woman we all wish 

to become . . .

 . . . prevail!

07/17/2023 - His name is John . . .

Yesterday, we said goodbye 

to a dear man . . .

Had no idea what to expect. 

The celebration of life was 

held in a large restaurant bar 

and my guess would be there 

were about a hundred guests.

The eulogies were wonderful.

So wish he could have heard

them. Who knows, maybe he

did. I liked that notepaper was

passed out to write memories

for a familial scrapbook.

Three lovely tables w/foods

and beverages, and the sharing 

continued at individual tables.

A most lovely way to go out,

end a life well lived . . .

. . . may it be thus for all of us.

07/16/2023

He wows me . . . time and time

again. This time, over the top!

Wayyyyy over the top!!!

He walks in from dealing with

the travel trailer and he's holding 

three mini beers in his hands. 

He says . . .

"I've got three little beers here

that are colder than shit. I know

that's how you like them. So, I

want you to sit down and drink

them right now . . . before they

warm up! Go on now, I'm not

kidding!"

He was so tickled by his find

and I could tell he just loved

surprising me. I swear, I'd have

drunk those beers even if they

nigh onto killed me.

I am reminded . . . "I love you"

comes in many different lingos.

Listen up . . .

p.s. He just surprised me with

champagne in bed . . . oh my

God . . . love of my life!!!

07/15/2023

"The world is full of magic 

things, patiently waiting for 

your senses to grow sharper."

~W.B. Yeats

I'm honing! I'm honing! Bring

on the magic. I'm sooooo ready!

Still, I look around and see it

everywhere in my life . . . the

odd trip with our friends, an

unexpected card in the mail,

a phone call from one of my

children.

There's even silly magic . . . 

that lost beer deep down in the 

fridge, a $100 bill found in an

old purse, a hidden love letter

reappearing.

'Tis time for moi to bring back

some olde magick to my soul . . .

happy thoughts, forgiveness to

myself and others, doing all 

things lovely for no reason.

Who knows? I may be growing

up after all . . . now there's some

pretty serious magick!

07/14/2023

I have to laugh, don't know 

if it's me or everyone else as 

well, but the trip home gives 

entirely different views from

the trip up.

I found myself oohing and

awing at the hands of Mother

Nature as I had on our way.

I incline my brow, bow, bend 

the knee, in thanksgiving to

our Mother, that precious gift

that keeps on giving.

Something I found interesting,

the trip up seemed longer than

the trip home . . . same speeds,

etc. Must have to do with . . .

we all want to go home!

I find I can hardly wait until 

our next foray into the arms

of Our Lady . . .

07/13/2023

Heading to the hills, even 

though I already live there . . .

I cannot go up these byways w/o

being absolutely wowed! Mother's

gifts to us are never diminished 

by her . . . alas, only by us.

We reach s summit and see yet

another valley flooded in beauty

without par. Everywhere I look

I am touched.

I look at her palette laden with a

variety of greens with those odd

bits of color thrown in . . . I feel

the tears coursing my cheeks.

I long to stop and pick up a rock.

Best souvenir  E V E R !!! Then,

I see roadside trash someone has

thoughtlessly dumped and I feel

my face redden in anger. How is

it possible that we could spit in

Mother's face in this manner?

I will pick up bits and pieces of

garbage when I can, but I must

set it aside and immerse myself

in this pure glory . . .

07/12/2023

"Sometimes you have to make

a decision that will break your 

heart, but will give peace to 

your soul." ~Unknown

Obviously, we can see ourselves

in these words of wisdom. We

each have been brought to our 

knees with these necessary pesky

decisions. Perhaps, it's all in the 

little things . . .

Do I honor the speed limit? Do I

give the odd shekels to beggars?

Can I help my old aunty with her

housework once in a coon's age?

Can I buy my clothes at the 2nd

hand store so I have leftover cents

to share?

Of course, we each have our own

decisions to make regarding the

above and other issues. I have no 

prob with driving a tad over the 

speed limit. On the other hand, my

aunt needs me and I'll be there

come hell or high water.

Maybe we all actually quell our

own naughties by doing goodies.

Whatever works! For me, it's

about having one's own code of

ethics and following it to the letter.

Rather has something to do with

being able to live with oneself

comfortably . . . and I sooooo 

need that!

Quell the conscience at any cost?

07/11/2023

"My toxic trait is telling people

I'm down for anything when in

reality I mean not after 8 pm,

food should be involved, and it 

also depends on the weather, the

parking situation, and how tired 

I am." Teacher Nation

Make that 7 p.m. and I could've

written this myself. I suppose 

it's completely natural for all of

us to look back at our younger 

selves and remark on those many

changes.

I actually had my first drink 

when I came to the US at the

age of 37. So, there I was just

learning to drink when my

peers were most likely already

tapering off.

I have to laugh at myself. I'm

only down for partying, as it

were, a couple of times a week.

My friends will gladly tell on

me that I enjoy myself until I

don't and then I simply go lie

down. Crazy!

All told, I love being 73 instead

of 37. I get a kick out of looking

back and seeing what was vs.

what is. I like memory hunting,

as I tend to think of it. And, tales

told out of school with my peers

are absolutely hilarious. 

So, in order to honor the above

curfew, mimosas must be had at

brunch and the odd beer or margs,

early afternoon.

Come on over for a cold one. 

Just know I'll be leaving the 

party when I'm tired.

Salud!

07/10/2023

I knew there must be something

wrong with me the moment I

realized just how much I like

Mondays!

I always loved school, both the

learning part and the teaching

part. Mondays used to be the

beginning of an entire new week

of just that.

Alas, today is a Monday and 

I have no classes to teach and

none to take. Dare I pray for

the universe to send me a new

student or two?!

Or maybe, I can learn to enjoy

Mondays just as they are . . .

"Wake up every morning with

the thought that something

wonderful is about to happen."

~WWS

07/09/2023

Today, a brand new day, a brand

new week. What can it possibly 

hold?

I heard on the news that Colorado 

has reached its water quotient so I

ponder, Would it be unduly selfish

of me to hope for just a few sunny 

days?

Can't help but wonder, what will 

I do if granted my wish?! I see a 

few  short walks coming on. Praps,

sitting outside with the neighbors

and enjoying a marg or two. The

sun on my shoulders . . . I feel a

John Denver coming on.

One way or another, it's a new day

and I'm remembering life is a gift.

I must enjoy it and use it well . . .

 . . . Maybe stop bitching about the

weather and get on with living life!

Now there's an idea . . .

07/08/2023

"Speak from your heart

not from your pain . . .

but never silence either."

~A. Shea

It matters to me . . . this whole

staying positive thing. I actually

do more than just make a stab

at it. Sooooo not happening just

now.

Anxiously awaited spring, never

came. Then thought we just might 

have summer. Doesn't seem to be

happening either. I'm grateful for

the rain, make no mistake. But,

feeling I may not make it this time

around. Desperately need some

proper summer.

Fam and friends are not to worry.

I've weathered SAD for 73 years.

It's just that this time I've been hit

especially hard. 

Will summer never come?! Will

the sun finally shine again?

07/07/2023

Today is 07/07. It's 7:00 a.m. 

It's 70 degrees and 7% humidity.

Methinks I should quick run to

the store and buy a lotto ticket!

Alas, I save those pesky shekels 

allotted for tickets for my wine

fund. See, in all my years in the

US, I've never won, so I think

I'm ahead buying wine instead . . .

both conciliatory and delish!

Now, the groceries are bought, 

the cabin clean, bills paid and

it's TGIF . . . 

 . . . let's party! Hey, do we have

to wait until 7:00 p.m?

07/06/2023

Yesterday was a gift . . .

Old teachers coming by, bringing

with them bits of joy, memories, 

life.

It's so interesting the things that 

come to mind when you see people 

from the past, a kind of awakening. 

Fun times  recalled, stories abound, 

laughter . . . oh the laughter.

So loved the sharing over margs; 

I felt I was in a kind of heaven! 

And then, the music began. How

this man could play, and I loved

the singing, the singing of old 

songs.

Life is so interesting, complicated,

wondrous . . . rather like a patchwork 

quilt. I would add, it seems to be

divided into segments, again the quilt

idea. Each segment of life bestows

its moments and memories.

Old friends spending time and I am

immediately cast back into those 

precious years in the classroom. I 

so loved my 40 years of teaching.

The students, loves of my life!

Indeed, I enjoyed yesterday . . . 

but the gift of memories brought

to the table is one of the most 

precious ever.

Bless you all for this . . .

07/05/2023

"Growing old is mandatory.

Growing up is optional."

~Walt Disney

Obviously, I'm in the "Growing old

is mandatory" stage! Praise God and

Walt Disney I've just been reminded

about the "Growing up is optional"

part!

I can't help but wonder if one of the

counter parts to aging is this freedom

to be oneself . . . as well as, along the 

lines of just a bit crazy?!

I find myself longing to . . .

    sit by the fire and read,

    sit under my fave tree and sip margs,

    spend time in my vardo a wondering

        and a wandering,

    go to an antique store, find a treasure,

Hey, I just realized . . . those may be 

more adult play than child play . . .

Still . . . let's party!

07/04/2023 - 4th of July

"Do not grow old, no matter how

long you live. Never cease to stand

like curious children before the great

mystery into which we were born."

~Albert Einstein

There's something about the 4th of

July that brings out the child within.

Expectations, gatherings, bursts of

color on a warm summer night . . .

all part of the usual celebrations.

I doubt there's much thought about

the actual meaning of 4th of July.

Eradication of entire Native tribes, 

the deaths of hundreds, thousands

of ill trained soldiers, confiscation

of a land not ours . . .

No, I don't think so! Better to watch

the parades, the fireworks, eat the

picnics, drink the beer.

History hurts! Heads in the sand . . .

here we come . . .

07/03/2023

"I'll tell you what hermits realize. 

If you go off into a far, far forest 

and get very quiet, you'll come to

understand that you're connected

with everything." ~Alan W. Watts

Being a Libra with absolutely all

in my life divided into twos . . .

Yes, no! Black, white! Eat, fast!

So of course, I live in the forest . . .

with the thick of the trees on one

side and the racing of car engines

on the other . . . go figure!!!

Maybe I should take a peek at moi!

Love solitude; adore people. Love

thin; adore food. Love movies; 

adore books. Methinks there must

be a clue in there somewhere!

I keep coming back to that old

rhetoric of self-acceptance. Stop

analyzing and simply enjoy! 

Mi ole dad used to say, "Don't 

pay to think too much!" I get it 

now; maybe a walk down the

road and hearing the traffic will

clear my brain . . . or what's left

of it anyway!

07/02/2023

"The secret, Alice, is to surround

yourself with people who make

your heart smile. It's then, only

then, that you'll find wonderland.

~Lewis Carroll

I only just made the commitment 

to find that long awaited joy of 

summer . . . and it seems even the 

gods are in collusion. 

Yesterday, we decorated the gazebo

and celebrated with margs at the

end. Talk about a perfect beginning

to summer joy . . . I can hardly wait

to take photos there.

July brings sun's warmth, fam and

friends to visit, margs most delish,

and tales for telling out of school.

Not to forget the b-days of my three

favest men . . . daddy, bro and lover!

One really has to love July, right?!

Having said that, I'm with Lewis 

Carroll on this . . . "It's the people

who make your heart smile!"

07/01/2023

"July is tender,

Part nostalgic and

part wild.

The raw flesh

of the summer."

~Victoria Erickson 

There is naught in this entire

world such as July . . . the 4th,

full and new moons, my dad's

and bro's b-days, a couple of

celebrations most important 

to me. Feels like it never ends.

By the time July gives up the

ghost, I'm about to as well!

This July, I'm going to take 

a slightly different approach.

Might the that perfect time 

to learn to live in the moment.

Yes, there will needs be time

for planning . . . But this time

around, I want to celebrate ea

waking moment . . . ideas,

plans coming to fruition and

the days as they march their

way across the calendar.

Heretofore, I've gotten so 

wrapped up in prep that I've

either been too exhausted to

enjoy those July celebrations

or too busy making things

happen. I swear, sooooo NOT 

this time!

July, here I come; let's party!!!