01/31/18 – Blue Moon/Blood Moon/Lunar Eclipse

One could wish an entire lifetime for a
moment such as this. So exciting, almost
to be feared . . . dare I wish upon a star or
is this the last moment of my life on which
to wish the most important, the most valuable
 . . . scared shitless here . . .

'tis a full blue moon
a blood moon lunar eclipse
wishes coming true

01/30/18

I find myself in a state of near elation as
January draws to a close. There is so much
to look forward to . . . the blue moon, the
beginning of a new month, the approach
of spring, Lady Hekate handing over the
torch to St. Brighid. Absolutely glorious!

sun is returning
an ending a beginning
leaves my soul in hope

01/29/18

Here I am awake at god awful 3:00 
in the morning. Laying on my right side,
I can see our lunar lady staring in at me
through my bedroom window. She's
almost full and shrouded in mist.
Pure magic!

at o dark thirty
lunar lady peeking out
brighid at the door

01/28/18

Celebrating Imbolc, Val and Mary gave me
the idea of each day making my haiku something
positive, something I would like to improve in
my life, and dedicate it to Lady Hekate. What
a phenomenal idea!

lady hekate
passing the torch to brighid
light is returning

01/27/18

I burned votives all night long. I know today
isn't Imbolc but prep for the celebration means
a lot to me. It feels like such a beginning . . .
maybe it has something to do with Lady Hekate
passing the torch to Lady Brighid in the next
few days. I am in awe of them both. Blessed be . . .

ladies of my heart
such blessings you bring to life
metaphor or not

01/26/18

Harking back . . . I realize just how much
I loved to teach and just how much I miss it.
I have so enjoyed the hours of lesson planning,
the reading up, the choosing of materials.
God, I miss it!

reading and learning
back in the saddle again
a teacher at best

01/25/18

I have 99 Books of Shadow
in black three ring binders.
It has been so exciting to go
through them and make certain
they are all in order for my new
classes. Such joy!

the love of learning
superseded by teaching
hand in hand they go

01/24/18

I met a couple of young women
in the neighborhood a few months
ago. They have asked to study with
me which adds interest to my days.

interesting life
a responsability
sharing the knowledge

01/23/18

I have never before understood the hold
negativity has on the soul. It must be the
most deeply rooted habit ever! Daily, I
am making a fierce effort for happy,
nonetheless.

putting on glad rags
now trying my hand at joy
hurry up and smile

01/22/18

It's rather wondrous how snow paralyses
life in general. 30 - 40 MPH winds, 8 plus
inches snow . . . and such beauty. I rather
want to spend the day in bed but my files
and other projects await.

an easy season
winter a long time coming
still longing for spring

01/21/18

We are expecting a good snow today.
I remember as a child hearing my father
speak about the analogy of snow. Everything
made new, the beauty of it . . . but as it
began to melt and muddy tracks were made,
the underneath was revealed once again. He
didn't preach, just asked that we observe and
extrapolate. An amazing man!

surrounded by white
a mystery actually
a new beginning

01/20/18

Looking at things differently, a new way
of seeing . . . and 'twas only a few nights
ago, the night of new beginnings. I find
myself amazed, and perhaps it's because
it's all so new, but the ability to look at
things differently is quite refreshing. I
find myself full of hope.

from despair to hope
looking back looking forward
pray stay the distance

01/19/18

Yesterday, we went through burst pipes,
water loss, hours of angst and spending
non-existent shekels. I didn't lose it, nor
did I crack under the pressure of it all. I
owe it all to new beginnings!

frustration and fear
all about passing the test
serenitys gift

01/18/18

Each morning we are born again.
It's today that matters most. ~Buddha

I am well pleased with today. It was difficult
in that the motor in the well overheated, shut off
and we currently have no water. The electrician
coming to either repair or install a new stove did
not come nor call. But, I was able to remain positive.

loathe being tested
understand part of the drill
must be positive

01/17/18

I realize that at some point one must say,
enough already! I get, and even forgive
the anger that went along with the three
and a half years of having mother. I may
even get the first year of her death spent
in depression and the second in anxiety.
But it has to end NOW. The anniversary
of her death is in two weeks; last night
marked a new beginning with a new moon.
I plan to use this to take off the sack cloth
and ashes.

a new moon last night
a new determination
a new beginning

01/16/18

Today is the day, or should I say,
the night! A new moon marks
possibilities to embrace. I pray
I have the courage to do so.

hope in my heart and soul
looking forward and planning
feel almost gleeful

01/15/18 - MLK

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that. Hate cannot
drive out hate; only love can do that.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

courage in the dark
even angels fear to tread
feeling so alone

01/14/18

He who learns must suffer. And
even in our sleep, pain, which
cannot forget, falls drop by drop
upon the heart, until, in our own
despair, against our will, comes
wisdom through the awful grace
of God. ~Aeschylus

i am so tired
finding myself exhausted
where to go from here

01/13/18

Answers! Or, is ignorance bliss,
as they say?! Do we walk the path?
Learn our lessons? Come to a good
end? Does any of it matter? I'm so
tired . . .

when does it all end
is it all about lessons
whats the point of life

01/12/18

Must find out, somehow, what's happening
to me. I've been experiencing panic attacks
and I notice my speech is very fast and
excitable. I feel as if I were on uppers, yet
I take no medication.

round and round we go
tis slavery of a kind
longing to be free

01/11/18

Never thought I would say this
but I find myself longing for a
spot of normal. Go figure! It's
been a long five and a half years.
I rather need them to be over.

where am i headed
walking shadows and sunshine
longing for the light

01/10/18

One of the things that is so hard about
being an empath is, not only dealing
with all your own angst and fears,
but worse, actually feeling what other
people are going through. There are
days, or maybe I should say nights,
when I don't think I'm going to
make it.

of nightmares and things
so afraid to fall asleep
dark nights of the soul

01/09/18

One of my students came for lunch yesterday.
While she was here visiting, her ex-husband
kidnapped their daughter. He has recently
been arrested and is awaiting trial; he is not
allowed, by the courts, to see their daughter
unchaperoned. Such sorrow, such fear. We
often forget midst our own struggles, that
there are those with far worse.

what is the motive
sorrow and fear abounding
for love of a child

01/08/18

Today promises to be a day for friends.
Leota is coming for breakfast on her way
back to Grand Junction and Dana, one of
my fave ACHS students, is coming in the
afternoon. What a glorious day awaits.

life is not easy
tedious difficult hard
at times glorious

01/07/18

Hace 43 años, di a luz a
uno de los grandes amores
de mi vida. My hijo, artista,
ha sido puro gozo para mi
desde aquel entonces.
¡Felicidades hijo!

pensando en ti
gran amor de mi vida
razón de vivir

01/06/18

I'm learning to live at the cabin, little by little.
Pack in the water, shower in the smallest of
warm, rather than hot, streams of creek water,
laundry at the house, no space . . . it''s a learning
curve, make no mistake . . . no regrets either!

living in the now
teeny tiny little small
a new way of life

01/05/18

Acaba de terminar de hacer mi infame Mole Verde.
Estoy más allá del más allá pero contenta. Vénganse
a comer; haré el arroz también pero ustedes traigan
el pollo.

yo estoy aquí
recordando México
lloro con pena

01/04/18

Day after day, making this fantasy a reality . . .
not quite certain my nerves can handle this and
I did it to myself. 'Tis a new world and not sure
there's any brave i it. Pray for me . . .

real or fancy
struggle with reality
pray give me courage

01/03/18

ZAK, Russel's son, is home for the first time
in five years. Russel brought hun to the cabin
yesterday afternoon. We sat around the fire,
visited and told stories. He is such a lovely
lad, interesting and simply enjoyable.

like father like son

sharing in holiday joy

happy bystander

01/02/18

I'm sitting home alone as Russel has gone to pick up
his son ZAK for the day. ZAK is in the Navy and we
haven't seen him for five years. He's a great lad.

yule wedding visits
childrens faces souls mirror
both joy and sorrow

01/01/18 – New Year's Day

I know that we all look forward to a new year
and hope and pray that things will be better,
that we can make them better.  Remember
that definition of a new year . . .  a to do list
for the first week of the year . . .  I am going
to choose only three resolutions with the hope
that I can follow them more faithfully.

planning my new year
so many resolutions
pray i be faithful