07/26/19

Missed chances . . . something I've been
pondering of late. A compliment not given,
a statement not made, a conversation not
joined, a good deed not done, a gift not
shared. Obviously, there is no way in hell
to keep up with all the might have beens.
But, I think I'd like to make a stab at it.
A different kind of make my day, perhaps!

fab conversation
an interesting concept
enjoyed our visit

07/25/19

I used to think aging was about
getting older, and of course, it is
indeed. Having acknowledged that,
I must say that aging is about so
much more. For the first time in
my life, there are things I 'get'.
Things make sense because I'm
coming from an entirely different
perspective. Along with the aches
and pains, as well as activities
altered and limited, comes an
unexpected compassion for people,
circumstances, issues. I so wish, as
did my elders before me, that I could
have had a clue, understood more.
Perhaps, 'tis why youth get beauty
and elders get wisdom. Now, I'm
only waiting for that promised
patience to kick in.

gone from bad to worse
why only beauty or brains
when in doubt do both

07/24/19

Fun, fun day . . . my guy treated me to
a day in bed watching the Jesse Stone
series . . . haven't done that in forever.
I've been pondering the mysteries of our
relationship of late. We've been together
now nigh onto twenty years and I still find
myself tantalized by our differences. Some
of that is obviously due to the whole male/
female thing. Knowing each other since we
were three, going to school together as kids
now reconnected in our latter years and still
finding out things about each other. Wow!
Wonder if the gods will grant us another few
years for mysteries to solve and fun things
to find out?!

so liking my guy
still finding out some new things
puzzles are so fun

07/23/19 Happy Birthday Sammy!

Obviously, there is no way to not spend
the day remembering my brother Sammy.
He was an amazing young man who faced
so many woes and fought so many battles.
He was born with a malady named Von
Recklinghausen Disease, a disease rather
like a progressive dinner party, if you will.
So rare it was at the time, that a children's
organization would actually fly the some
fifteen children in the U.S. to visit each other.
Sammy was apparently normal until he was
three at which time he stopped talking until
he was eleven. I was the only person who
could understand him; I translated for him
to my parents, his teachers and childhood
friends until that time. Deemed special ed
not being enough, he was soon cursed by
regular gran mal epileptic seizures that would
hospitalize him for a couple of weeks at a time.
One of the few great blessings of his life was
eventually studying at the Colorado Springs
School for the Deaf and Blind. He had amazing
seeing-eye dogs throughout his life, much loved
by all of us. The last addition to his very difficult
life was MS; the gods finally gave him rest just
after my son was born. i find myself sore of spirit
even in the remembering. Bless him!

my heart ever hurts
sorrow in the memories
so cannot forget

07/22/19

In looking forward to our upcoming
trip to New Mexico, Chaco Canyon
features prominently. We are spending
the day having a look-see at some
Chaco Canyon documentaries . . .
(exhaustion-free travel a la Linda-Dale).
I find myself amazed beyond the pale,
even tearing up at more touching moments.
What incredible peoples have inhabited our
great Mother Earth! Landing on the moon,
as well as the entire space odyssey, pales
in my mind when comparing our phenomenal
native communities. I am much humbled!

must be remembered
our way not the only way
lessons to be learned

07/21/19 – Birthdays ahoy . . . Russel and Daddy . . .

I so enjoy birthdays and just love that we
got to celebrate my man yesterday! We have
such an amazing family; it was wonderful to
see them, tell tales out of school, eat and eat
and eat, slam a few beers, and simply spend
time together. Most wondrous! You all R O C K !!!

family the best
me thinks i know heaven now
come again next year

 - - -

Happy birthday Daddy! You know
I think of you everyday and talk
to you most days! Still, when your
birthday comes around, it's even
more poignant . . . the loving you,
the missing you, the longing for you
to be here by my side. I've always
known just how lucky I am to have
a father like you, your love and
support, your faithfulness to our
commitment as a dad. Alas, ever so
many have never known the joy of
having a father like you. How I thank
the gods you are in my life and always
have been!

pray enjoy your day
happiest birthday to you
ever missing you

07/20/19

The mind is such an amazing place to be.
It transports me into Memoryville, it lends
me strength when I need it, it gives me
safe passage to the places I am wont to
go, it hides me in its folds of loving care
when I can no longer cope . . . Who needs
reality when the mind is your best friend?!
I'm thinking of staying there!

my mind is calling
thinking about answering
safest place to be

07/19/19

Anticipation . . . I am at last coming
to understand the vast importance of
the word! If one has nothing to look
forward to, what's the point?! This is
what gets us out of bed each morning,
that which hits our sense of hunger as
we open the refrigerator prior to a meal.
But really, these are the small things.
Anticipation, real anticipation, is what
causes us to forge ahead, seek joys, go
on adventures, try new things and ideas,
live rather than exist. It's not only what
enables us to face the day, but what urges
us to embrace life itself.

anticipation
looking towards life and living
hardly wait to play

07/18/19

I've always enjoyed giving presents,
even as a child. I understand I've
made some people uncomfortable,
but I think my friends know this
about me and accept me as I am.
I had a rude awakening yesterday
that bears pondering. We decided
to treat ourselves at our fave cafe.
When it came time to pay, the chef's
assistant treated us. She explained
that she had wanted to do so for a
long while, a truly lovely gesture.
The interesting bit to me was just
how uncomfortable I felt receiving
the gift. A single mother, making
her way, working incredible hours
and she gifted us our meal. Wow!
I don't think it's in me to not give,
but learning to receive with the
same joy bears thinking about!

to give to receive
lessons from the universe
i pray i may learn

07/17/19

'Tis an awakening of sorts . . .
Over and over, I ask myself,
"Who am I going to be when
I grow up?" As I near 70, the
obvious is that I'm grownup
already! Still, I don't seem to
see much indication of this.
Everyday, I face new battles,
new challenges, new ideals.
I act on them when possible,
but on some level here, inertia
seems to be king of the road.
Once again, I'm taken with the
reality of bits and pieces. A day
at a time, that rare sacred
moment to be honored. I pray
I can rise to the occasion before
Lady Death comes for me.

thinking about things
my mind mulling them over
conclusions ahoy

07/16/19

I've been wondering about how life is
divided up . . . Of course there are the
months, weeks and days, but what about
holidays, birthdays and special occasions?
In teaching, for example, we divide up the
concepts into bits and pieces so as not to
overwhelm the student. We are taught in
problem solving to do something similar.
This leaves me wondering if somehow the
powers at be didn't do the same thing for
us in life?! Bottom line, I find I rather like
living from celebration to celebration! So,
Happy Full Buck Moon to you all tonight!!!

life of the party
of celebrations i sing
tis retirement

07/15/19

What's up with this whole, "Home,
sweet home, finally!" and, "I never
want to leave this gorgeous place?"
Man! Fickle to the end! Maybe, just
maybe, these sentiments express an
appreciation for Mother Nature and
at the same time, just how much I
love my home. Think I'll go with
that! When in doubt, do both!!!

spending time with her
so in awe of mother earth
tis ever her home

07/14/19

I almost hate waking up to the day in
which we'll be returning to real life. On
the other hand, I can hardly wait to go
home. Me thinks we humans are rarely
satisfied, if ever. Still, what a wondrous
time with our family and there's nothing
wrong with loving one's home as well.
We are lucky enough that we get to see
each other somewhat regularly, but the
fam reunion is the absolute best. I fully
intend to keep this mind-boggling beauty
of majestic mountains, stunning wildflowers
with a backdrop of the bluest skies ever
in my heart until we meet again! We do
indeed have the bestest family ever!

ever in my heart
promising to keep you there
til we meet again