11/30/18

Reconnection . . . one simply has to wonder
what it's all about. Is is magical? Is it pre-
ordained? Happenstance? Important? A gal
from my high school got in touch with me on
FB thanks to a couple of friends that we have
in common. She said she knew me but I didn't
remember her. Frankly, there are a lot of years
between 15 and 69 and I most likely don't recall
a lot of people and events from that era. Long
story short, I invited her to lunch. Even when
she walked in, I didn't recognize her. Then we
opened the yearbooks . . . and there she was,
our pictures side by side; I recalled her perfectly.
Bottom line, life is fascinating, strange, alluring
in all its aspects. We spent a lovely day together,
many memories, recollections and tales out of
school, as it were; most fun! Life is like that, isn't
it? You go along each day, minding your own
business and doing the best you can. And then,
something happens and you're cast back into a
sea of memories long misplaced and dusty. Almost
magical! Tish, bless you for the reminiscings . . .

wanna take a ride
a trip down memory lane
unlikely travels

11/29/18

It's all fair in love and Walmart! We had
to stop by yesterday to cash a check for
number one lover. As the young man
behind the cash register counted out his
money, the lad remarked, "Oh look, a ten;
I didn't know we had any tens." Coming
directly back to the car, my guy pulls out
his cash, recounts it, and guess what?
NO TEN SPOT! After the initial outrage,
he commented, "I've never before been
conned so slick!" On a larger scale of
sorrow, we heard on early morning news
today that a young man in a local park
was found shooting, sadly ending up as
a suicide by cop. As December approaches
with its glitz, parties and celebrations, we
tend to forget the sadness behind the bright
lights. For every child receiving a sack
load of Santa pressies, yet another doesn't
know where the next meal is coming from.
There are families going through their own
private hell in order to make a special holiday
for their children. Others, out of despair,
resort to petty theft or worse. And, not to
forget the CARAVAN, fighting cold, hunger
and exhaustion . . . no matter personal points
of view. Obviously, none of us are Mother
Teresa, but let's open our hearts and minds
to be ever vigilant, careful and thoughtful,
and as giving as we possibly can. Perhaps
it would be much better to celebrate half
and gift the rest. After all, our coffers and
larders are full, yet 'tis not so for many
others. Here's me wishing all of us amazing
holidays and open arms and hearts!

sadness and glories
pray grant me many merries
can't hack the sorrows

22/28/18

The perfect date . . . I hark back to the days of yore
and think about the dating game. Being 69 years of
age, I suppose my ideas of dating back then would
be very different than what young people today
would believe to be perfection. I can recall going
to the A and W Root Beer stand for a float and
thinking that was rather fun. Although I didn't like
root beer, I think it was the idea of it that I liked. I
loved indoor rollerskating, outdoor picnics, long
walks and short hikes, window shopping and ice
cream cones, as well as NOT walking dogs in the
park. There is something my man and I much
rather relish now; we like to sit by the fire with
a bit of low mood music in the background . . .
(we especially like a thunderstorm) . . . and a
bottle of red between us. If it's early, we are both
fond of tea, and frankly, 'tis hard to tear ourselves
away. I imagine, the magic of the fire is hard to
beat! I do know I can be antsy, upset, even
depressed, and a couple of hours by the fire, and
it's all good. Forget therapy, just give me a few
sticks and a match . . . well, I suppose the wine
helps as well. Wanna date?

baby light my fire
magic waiting to happen
do come sit with me

11/27/18

I have always appreciated my kids, make no mistake!
But, perhaps because of the holidays of late, I've had
this opportunity to sit back and enjoy them in their
various roles as parents, guests, chefs and friends. I
watched my daughter preparing amazing foods, utterly
at home amongst all the brouhaha that goes on at
familial gatherings. My thoughts ran along the lines of
"Oh my God, we actually brought these incredible people
into the world!" I swear, I even had this aha moment
as Michelangelo's Creation of Adam popped into my
head . . . "Oh, so this is what God must have felt like."
I was similarly moved last night when we had supper
with my son. We sat in the kitchen over a glass of wine
as he prepared this amazing soup from scratch. It was
a bit like being in a 3-D movie . . . surrealistic! I was
so moved, I kept tearing up! What a gift our children
are! Somehow, I need to write a thank you letter to
God! . . . and Don Luis Ferreira . . . we done good!!!

bright blessings ahoy
overwhelmed with gratitude
must pay the piper

11/26/18

Freud notwithstanding, have you ever wondered
where your dreams come from? I'm no Freudian
Psychologist, but I've been having some doozies.
Obviously, there are, too much beer at the game
dreams, ate too much at Thanksgiving dreams,
had a fight with my lover dreams, and not to
forget, haven't been laid in ages dreams. And, I
imagine we could add in the nightmares. Not sure
I can pay all the bills this month nightmares, So
wish I hadn't said that nightmares, will she ever
speak to me again nightmares, as well as, I thought
I had gotten over that when I was a kid nightmares.
I've been having such horrific nightmares of late
that if Freud were alive today, I'd be making an
appointment. Yes, I know you're not supposed to
have a heavy meal before bedtime, I understand
you're not to have more than one drink (alright,
maybe two) before going to bed, and I get that
you're supposed to have a clear conscience . . .
although I'm not sure if that is supposed to give
you a good night's rest or be insurance against
hell if you die in the night! Whatever! Tonight,
I'm going to forego supper, lose the proverbial
glass of wine, say my prayers and hope for the
best. I'm exhausted and I need some sleep.

i am begging you
now i lay me down to sleep
pray give me good rest

11/25/18

Who am I? What am I? Where am I going?
Have I lived a worthwhile life? Am I worthy?
Do I measure up? Have I even earned the
right to hope for whatever happens next?
Near the end of our sojourn here on earth,
I imagine these to be the questions we will
ask ourselves. For my part, I don't wish to
wait that long . . . It may be scary as hell,
but I need to hold myself accountable now.
I want to know the truth whatever that may
be and at whatever cost. Perhaps it simply
trickles down to, "Who do I want to be when
I grow up?" I used to worry about what others
thought of me; now, I am mostly concerned
about what I think of me . . . a true turnabout!
Leaving the ethereal aside, "Where do I go from
here?" Is it a question of facing each day anew?
Making well thought out choices? Examining
each action before even happening and aligning
those actions with my own personal philosophy?
Am I touting Shakespeare now? "To thine own
self be true?" Do all and sundry face this agony
with age? What now? Perhaps I should embrace
all this new age ideology. Is it really that easy?
Create myself through thought and self-acceptance?
Maybe easy isn't quite the right word, but whatever
it is, wherever I go from here, I am no longer an
innocent abroad . . . I now live in the realm of
been there, done that; I have to take responsibility
for me, even if this requires growing up at seventy.
Frankly, I am tired just thinking about it; may the
gods grant me courage . . .

longing for answers
dont even know the questions
will there be a test

11/24/18

To my children from another mother . . . I am
missing you! In this modern world in which we
live, a world in which one is often married more
than once, there are children . . . wondrous, sweet
children. They steal your heart and little by little
they become yours . . . not yours entirely because
they belong to another mother. Nonetheless, they
are somehow born of your soul. You have to learn
to let go as they grow up, go away to college, fall
in love and create families of their own. You have
to learn to let go because this is life, a very, very
busy life and the absence of enough time steals
them away. I suspect holidays brings this missing
a bit more to the forefront. So, know that I love
you, my children from another mother. May the
gods hold you close until I can embrace you again.

sometimes my heart aches
finding myself missing you
memories comfort

11/23/18

My fetish might just be keeping my space fairly
organized 'mongst this whole moving trauma.
I can even hear my mother nagging me from the
beyond, "You need to get your desk cleaned off
and your documents filed." So, I finally give in.
Trudging over to the library where my office is,
carrying all these papers, I catch myself muttering
under my breath, almost grumpy teenager style.
It's freezing out there so I turn up the heater, but
I know I'll be finished before it ever warms up.
However, I actually start to warm to the task as
I get into it. As I file, I'm able to put some things
through the shredder, and even though I don't
like filing, I content myself with the fact that come
tax time, I'll be glad I did it. I'm about three or
four papers away from finished when I spy a bill,
a $50.00 bill!!! Unbelievable! I haven't seen a
$50.00 in so many years I thought the banks had
canceled their printing! Where the hell did it
come from? Do you think my mother found a
way to reward me for getting my chores done?
I'm halfway between the awe of the find and the
chagrin I feel, when I look up and say, "Thanks,
mom!" The adult me knows this is impossible,
yet . . . perhaps stranger things have happened.

grinch that i may be
tis a day for miracles
yes i am thankful

11/22/18 - Thanksgiving

Only yesterday we were celebrating Halloween;
today we'll do Thanksgiving and nigh onto tomorrow,
it'll be Christmas. I find all these celebrations a tad
exhausting, yet exhilarating. Such fun! Such family!!
Such joy!!! I know it was only a few days ago that I
wrote something about holidays so this has been
preying on my mind. Holiday exhaustion aside, I've
been wondering how we could incorporate more of
this into our lives rather than less. There simply has
to be a way to bring in more jubilation into our daily
scene rather than the mundane . . . or should it be,
spicing up the mundane to make it more celebratory?
Isn't it champagne that makes orange juice brunch
rather than breakfast?! I think we can apply this
principle even sans champagne! A love note in the
sack lunch, perhaps? Supper a the dinner table
rather than in front of the TV? Invite a girlfriend to
lunch . . . let's picnic at the weekend? I imagine if
we all gave it some thought, even shared our ideas,
we could come up with a plethora of scenarios. I
think I'm going to do an after the TG blues surprise
picnic in bed for my guy . . . could be fun?! Who
knows what I might come up with for dessert!

lets spice up our days
a lot of play and no work
sounds like the ticket

11/21/18

I had been thinking of the written word when this old
adage popped up, "Reading gives us someplace to go
when we have to stay where we are." ~Mason Cooley
Cooley, known for his aphorisms, said it all when he
came out with this one! I've often thought that the
greatest gift my parents gave me after the gift of life,
was the gift of reading. The hours I have spent in the
joys of tumbled thoughts and glorious travels are, to
this day, beyond priceless. I suppose now would be an
appropriate time to confess to book hoarding . . . I even
have my own library, thousands and thousands of
books. Yesterday, i was compelled to take a truckload
of books to the DAV as there was simply no space in
which to house them; this cabin is ever so tiny . . .
I wept copiously! I bet when Jesus said it was more
blessed to give than to receive, he wasn't talking about
books! So, today is one of those perfect days to stay
abed under the comforter and read until twilight! A
fantasy at best . . . alas, Thanksgiving prep awaits!

clearly most thankful
but would rather be reading
family beckons

11/20/18

"I want to be a hater when I grow up!" said no child
ever! Nonetheless, hate, loathing, spite, negativity
are everywhere you look. Truly, I doubt very much
that any of us start out trying to be haters . . . but,
"I hate okra! I can't stand that witch next door!! I
loathe politicians!!! . . . are part of our daily rhetoric.
Nor is it necessary to be a Pollyanna. Indeed, we are
surrounded by a plethora of negativity. How can we
help but hate the horrific things that are occurring in
our world today?! No matter your political persuasion,
no one can like world hunger and starvation, wife and
child abuse, animal cruelty nor the collection of isms
that exist. So, where do we go from here? Being a
Pollyanna doesn't address the horrors in our existence,
nor do we necessarily have the means at our fingertips
to address the world sorrows. Reality dictates that we
can't turn a blind eye to those serious hates heretofore
mentioned. I catch myself remembering a sweet little
ditty from childhood, "Brighten the corner where you
are." I think therein lies the answer. If we each commit
to those few and wondrous acts of daily kindness and
positivity, at least our own corners will be brighter.
And, we all have several corners we can decorate
with loveliness . . . let's do this!

so fearing the dark
the boogeyman is hatred
lets turn on the lights

11/19/18

I've been thinking . . . now there's an idea! No really,
I've been thinking about what it is to be happy. I've
read all the gurus, the articles, the how to's . . . but
not really sure that I'm any closer. The great masters
seem to think that striving for contentment is what
it's all about. The New Agers believe they have all the
answers. The masters of yesteryear have written
volumes on the subject, droning on and on, but me
thinks I need a synthesizer! And, not to forget the holy
books . . . the Bible, the Koran, the Talmud and others.
I can't help but think that each and every believe they
possess the answers, but bottom line, perhaps the truth
is that the answer lies within and that happiness is
actually different for all of us. I hark back to high school
when all the girls were making cute little 'Happiness is"
lists with drawings of hearts and tears throughout. But
alas, I'm not 15 anymore . . . so where do I go from here?
I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that my children
make me happy! My friends turn my sorrows to joy and
brush away my tears. Teaching . . . WOW! Now, there's
something that has bought me joy untold. Now, I'm
thinking I need to synthesize! Maybe I'm overthinking
this a bit. Maybe happiness isn't in the grandiosity of the
cosmos, but rather in those little bits and pieces of every
day. It comes to me that I'd better be doing an about
face and change my way of thinking. I'm going to take a
peek in the corners of my mind and start making my own
mini-list, albeit sans the hearts and tears . . .

seeking happiness
children friends travels and kin
finding it within

11/18/18

My doc insists that I drink 8 - 10 glasses of water
a day . . . AND keep a water log, pun intended.
Frankly, I've never drunk so much in my life; me
thinks I'm nigh onto dead in the water! I suppose
from a religious point of view, 'tis the water of life
and that has to mean a great deal. Alas, I'm like
a fish out of water there! At 69, and traversing a
steep flight of stairs, I would like to sleep through
the night, but if I have to choose between a healthy
liver and a fall down the rickety stairs, guess I'll
choose the former as me loves my red! I do have
to be careful so as not to get in hot water though.
My man says the 8 - 10 a day doesn't hold water
as everything we eat is water, but I must obey. I
actually haven't had a marg in many a moon as
our fave watering hole lost its liquor license . . .
Still, can't help but wonder if they count as water
intake! We've gone back there a couple of times
to test the waters, but I would have to admit
that even the best of Mexican food tastes even
more spectacular with a marg! Well, 'tis water
under the bridge. As retirees, we only eat out
about once a month, so come hell or high water,
we'll be finding a new place. Well, here's to you,
as I life my glass of H2O; just keeping my head
above water. And, just so you know, I'll be in
deep water if I don't win this bet that I can use
the damn word umpteen times in a paragraph!!!

punny mood today
me thinks tis thirst killing me
pray bring the drinks stat