01/13/2023 - Friday the 13th

Yayyyyyyyyy! Finally,

we have a Friday the

13th . . . 

On average, we have 

a couple a year. It goes

from none to three. Not

sure why I like them so

much, but they tickle

my heart!

In grade school, we used 

to play jokes on each other 

as well as the teachers.

They were such sweet,

simple jests; I find myself

much moved.

Back in a first grade recess, 

I can remember writing, 

"I am a gost" on a little piece 

of paper and sticking it to the 

back of the principal's suit 

coat. Not sure where I got

the nerve as he was quite

a serious man!

He must have felt something

so he reached around and

grabbed the paper. I thought

for sure I was going to get

killed! He just laughed,

turned to me and said, "Hey,

little one, you spelled ghost

wrong." Still tickles me . . .

I like doing things out of the

ordinary on Fridays the 13th.

I'll have to see what I come

up with today. Methinks 'tis

a good excuse to spend some

much needed time by the fire.

Let's see what proper naughties

we can all get up to . . .

01/12/2023

There are ever so many

things about which to feel

wondrous . . .

A sunny day, albeit below

freezing, a couple of friends

dropping by, clean sheets, 

fun slippers . . .

I must remind myself that

moments, treats, gifts . . .

all bring smiles and help

brush away the SAD . . .

When a SAD attack occurs,

it's so easy to forget these

precious moments, fun

spontaneous visits, a bit of

winter sun . . .

Methinks I need to give 

myself a good shaking,

wake up and smell the

coffee, smile on the gifts

of the gods!

Why is it that we tend to

focus on the negative rather

than the positive? Why do

we mire in the mud rather

than playing in the snow, 

as it were?!

I swear, I'm going to have

words with myself next

doldrums attack! Going to

gift myself a day by the fire,

a good book and a virgin 

bloody Mary. 

Happy! Happy! Here I come!

01/11/2023

Yesterday, I braved the 

world and did my monthly 

shop . . .

So naturally, I came home 

with all I wanted and nought 

on my list! Of course, today

is my house cleaning day 

and none of my much needed 

tools seem to be in existence.

Wonder if I might just clean

the bath with chili powder

and maybe dust the living 

room with satin napkins?!

I seem to recall I was going

to work on my memory this

year. Don't know if the loss

is all down to half-heimers 

or simply the longing to be

naughty yet one more time.

Feel free to come over and

help with the all day cabin

clean . . . and by that, I mean

sitting in front of the fire

sipping ungodly brews . . .

01/10/2023

I seem to remember something 

along the lines of promising my-

self some changes for the new 

year.

Strange, we're only ten days

in and I'm not really certain 

I recall any of them; maybe 

the odd self-improvement or 

so . . .

 . . . like eating better, losing 

a tad more weight and getting

out more. The only one I like

of these particular three is the

latter. 

I'm finding, in my anti SAD fight

(Seasonal Affective Disorder),

that getting my ass out in the real 

world from time to time is actually

quite helpful! Methinks I'm just

ever so comfy in my own little

cabin!

Bottom line, what's to be my 

focus for the next several months? 

I won't allow myself more than 

three, so what's it to be? I'd like 

to think outside the box this time 

around . . . 

So perhaps, getting out a bit more 

is a good place to start. Interacting 

with more people, family and 

friends comes to mind . . . albeit 

e-mails, letter and cards, or visits

and telephone calls. 

If I'm counting right, I get one more!

And, I'd like that to be surprises. 

In our modern day world, we have

to be so organized. My mom used to

accuse me of having my life planned

from the cradle to the grave. Alas, I

don't think she was far from wrong.

Sooooo, surprises here I come, or 

do I have that backwards?! Come

on guys, lend me a hand here; help

me be surprised . . .

0109/2023

"Detachment is not that you

should own nothing, but that

nothing should own you."

~Ali ibn abi Talib, the last of

four Rightly Guided Caliphs

to rule Islam immediately aft

the death of Muhammad; he

was the first Shia Imam. His

succession caused a major

rift between Muslims and

divided them into Shia and

Sunni groups. Wikipedia

'Tis most interesting those

changes in attitude as we find

ourselves in the last years of

our lives. I've heard it said

that the first half of our lives

is spent collecting and the

last half in giving away. We

humans are something else,

aren't we?!

I can remember my mom

couldn't let anyone leave her

home without giving them

something. It didn't matter if

they wanted it or not, or if it

was ridiculous or wonderful,

you didn't leave empty handed.

I find myself emulating her to

some degree. I've given away

everything on my will that I

could. Treasures in my home

go out the door with just the

right person. I love that!

I do find myself wishing I had

spent more on experiences and

less on treasures . . . but I was a

when in doubt, do both person.

No regrets really . . .

Looking at the above quote, 

I do think that in my younger

years, my treasures, as I like to

think of them, owned me. In my

dotage, I do believe I've actually

found an iota of balance.

I see I said iota rather than perfect,

oh well . . .

01/08/2023

"Absence makes the heart 

grow fonder!" 

~Sextus Aurelius Propertius,

Roman poet, 15BC

Methinks I'm about to give

this whole psychobabble 

thing a kick in the pants . . .

When I'm fasting, I'd like to 

eat! In a month of abstinence, 

of course a drink sounds good. 

On a diet? Only fat laden foods 

attract! Not to forget doc's 

orders of 8 glasses of water 

a day and I'm gagging around 

the 6th.

What is it about human

nature that makes us long

for the unattainable?! I'd

have to admit, per se, I

don't. For me, it's all about

me denying moi!

I get these flea brained 

notions in my head that

X, Y or Z would make 

life better or healthier,

even easier. Oh my God,

talk about sinning against

oneself. Why can't I just 

live and let things be?!

Oh no . . . wayyyyy tooooo

logical!!! Gots to be that ole

Libra thing again! Convince

myself that personal growth

is important even at 100 years

old. And then, down comes

the other scale saying things

like, "You're old enough to

have some fun now."

Go figure . . . I'm going to

ponder self acceptance here

at o' dark thirty whilst I have

a Bloody Mary in bed . . . non

alcohol, of course. Damn!

01/07/2023

Today is the recalling of one

of the most glorious days of 

my life . . .

Umpteen years ago on a most

wondrous afternoon, I became

a mother for the first time. I'll

never forget that moment when

the nurse handed me my babe.

There's this amazing, inordinate

feeling when your baby finally

rests in your arms. That tiny

face, screwed up and bursting

into song . . . or should I say,

howling. 

We howled together, at the top 

of our voices! And I wept in

sheer gratitude to the universe.

I loved watching his dad hold

him high in his arms shouting,

"I have a son, a beautiful son!"

He has brought all of us such

joy through the years. This

man; son, brother, husband,

friend and artist . . . wow! 

Just W O W !!! 

How will I ever show my

gratitude? To whom do I offer

my praise? Will I ever feel I

have shouted my love to the

Universe loud enough, long 

enough.

I love him so . . .

01/06/2023

"Sometimes you have to 

let go of the picture of what 

you thought life would be 

like and learn to find joy in the

story you are actually living." 

~Rachel Marie Martin

Bet I wasn't the only kid who

grew up with the Cinderella 

story. But, I would have to 

admit that any extrapolations 

coming from there were my 

own. Can't blame my parents 

for this one!

And of course, we just use the

term. Childhood is a fantasy of

sorts, good or bad. I imagine

we all grew up thinking, "This

is NOT how things are going

to be for me when I grow up."

And now, nigh onto a 100. 

my fave number for 73, I am

wowed by all the twists and

turns in my own life.

Whilst living them, we may

sorrow, but looking back, I

find myself dismissing regrets.

Methinks 'tis those very twists

and turns in our lives that bring

us to the end of our journey.

And, if that's the case, bring 

on another few . . . I find I'm 

not yet ready for the end of 

my own journey!

Now, when I grow up, I want

to be . . .

01/05/2023

"Even the darkest night will

end and the sun will rise."

~Victor Hugo

Cold, dark, dank, snowy 

days of winter . . .

My soul cries out to the

heavens . . . "When, oh 

when, will joy be returned 

to me, ere I die?!"

Such a drama queen, a role

I've never admired in anyone

much less in myself! What 

the hell?

Those who do not suffer

w/SAD (Seasonal Affective

Disorder) would find this

utterly unbelievable, unduly

dramatic . . . perhaps it is.

Still, this near death drama

queen feels exactly thus!

Each and every day, she 

fears she will not make it.

Pray the Lord of Winter 

spares me yet one more 

season. More so, beg I 

grow and learn to handle 

this ghastly malady with 

wisdom and grace . . .

01/04/2023

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . . brings me coffee in bed,

makes me the odd funny taco.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . . braves the storms, clears the

walks and preps the transport.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . . cuts the grasses and rakes

the leaves, arranges the tables

and the chairs.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . " 

. . . watches show with me, those

not his cup of tea, opens the wine

we share, but has just a tad.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . . he cuts the wood, builds the

fire and gazes into the embers

with me.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . . those meaningless words,

he exemplifies them in every

action, every gesture, every 

thought.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . . te amo, te quiero, te adoro,

je t'aime.

He doesn't say, "I love you . . . "

. . .  he speaks a different

language, a language of the

gods . . .

 . . . and I worship, not at his 

feet, but at his heart.

01/03/2023

My entire life I have loved

reading. I can still remember

announcing to my parents, 

"I can read! I can read!" 

A whole new world opened

its doors to me; and I wasn't

happy unless I read a book a

day. Obviously, starting with

Dick and Jane and finally

arriving at Shakespeare's door

lo those many years later.

My idea of heaven was the

library, especially as shekels

were few and desire was great.

Having said that, I would use

my small allowance to keep

my faves close to my heart.

Truly, my pride would never

have allowed me to read any-

thing silly, romances, never!

Cervantes was always a fave

in Spanish, Shakespeare's 

counterpart, as it were.

And now,  perhaps a proper 

confession is in order. Maybe

I've never read comedy or

romance, but you ought to see

me eat up murder mysteries.

Methinks my father would be

appalled . . .

I console myself by thinking,

"At least they're not dime

romance novels." Many a time

have I addressed my love of

reading, but a confession has

been a long time coming.

A few years from my own 

passing, I intend to keep sinning

as hard and as fast as I can!

Murder awaits . . . no shit 

Sherlock!!!

01/02/2023

My sister-in-law sent me 

a wonderful article today.

The author wrote of the

sacred. She closed with

this comment . . .

"May you see sacredness

in your daily life- in the

taste of your favorite foods,

in the green growing things

around you, in the crowded

parking lot or the line in your

supermarket, in the laughter

from a friend's inside joke, in

the tears you shed when you

are hurting, and especially in

the beautiful sacred souls all 

around you." 

~Marjorie Jorie Ellenwood

I've always tended toward 

the spiritual over the religious,

like my father rather than my

mother. Still, I enjoyed my

studies when taking a degree

in Religion and Philosophy.

I love the study still, but it's

the practice of spirituality

that calls to me.

I wonder if religion doesn't

lie in the mind and spirituality 

in the heart. Perhaps religion

addresses our beliefs, whereas

spirituality our actions?!

Whatever our beliefs, practices, 

I pray we will each grow in the

acceptance of others and their 

ways. Perhaps spirituality can 

rescue us from narrow thinking.

I am slowly but surely coming

to believe that a better new year

awaits us with the opening of

both our hearts and minds.

This may be our only recourse

for personal growth as well as

an inkling of heaven on earth.

01/01/2023

Is it Happy New Year? or

Happy Anniversary? When

it doubt, do both, right?!

My guy woke me up at 

midnight, wished me a 

happy 23! He then asked 

me if I'd like to go sit by 

the fire and open a bottle 

of champagne?! This man

is def a keeper!!!

I find myself remembering

him on my doorstep 23

years ago, New Years Day!

I hadn't seen him since a

family reunion his sister

hosted, a true blast from 

the past!

Now I've done it . . . the

bottle is open, the genie

escaped and memories are

flooding everywhere! My

first date, my first kiss, my

first boyfriend! Ever so

sweet!

I asked him once why he

thought we had parted . . .

actually, going to Mexico

for 20 years might have had

something to do with it . . .

He explained . . . we were 

charged with bringing our

children into the world and

that our time together had

not yet come. Such depth!

Bottom line, I can't think

of anyone I'd rather spend

my dotage with. Just pray

we don't become too dotty! 

Happiest of all happy 

anniversaries to me and

thee . . . Oh, and happy

new year as well!