07/13/2022

Guilt, it's been said, is the gift

that keeps on giving . . .

Can't decide if it's humorous

or annoying, all those FB

quotes telling one and all to

suffer no guilt!

I rather think my mom used

guilt quite creatively in her

parenting. I've used it myself

to keep me on the straight and

narrow . . . okay, not too straight

and not too narrow, but still . . .

Obviously, vast amounts of

suffering at the hand of guilt

serves no one. Still, modicum

amounts of guilt, keeping one

honest, is surely a good thing.

Say I forget to put out the trash

for example, and have to house 

it for another week, guilt would 

be this side of ridiculous. 

But if I hurt a friend, using guilt 

as a way to try and understand 

the pain I have caused, is a good

thing. I imagine it would also

encourage me to do the right 

thing and mend fences.

Guess my vote would be . . . ever

and always in moderation! Use it

for good and let it be!

Are you listening, mother?

07/12/2022

Methinks 'tis the morn of

the day after . . .

Oh my God! All that yard

work! Thought I was rather

proving myself . . . And . . .

what I was really doing was

proving myself to be about

a 100 years old!

Things are looking really fab

around here. Too bad I might

be too dead to enjoy them!!!

All jest aside . . . and yes, I

wasn't kidding about being

half dead . . . okay, all dead!

What I was thinking was . . .

how lovely it would be if it

always looked like this?!

Funny thing about seasons

and their accompanying

weather . . . Seems they've

their own agenda and feel

no particular need to ask

my opinion.

Probably just as well and I'd

be praying for sun and you'd

be begging for rain . . . to

say nothing of the kid down

the street who wants some-

thing entirely different.

Here's wishing all a good

weather day, like it or not!

Prost! Cheers!! Salud!!!

bring on the bengay

or maybe make that a beer

down with yard work pains

07/11/2022

Been a-porching of late . . .

So tiny and not particularly

comfortable, we've never

really sat out there until the

other evening.

Several things conspired to

make it more appealing. A

friend kindly put her hand

to the task of cleaning the 

space, so it's actually doable.

My guy put up my father's

art and I hung up my antique 

bell collection. It now has that, 

"There's no place like home," 

feel to it.

At the end of the day, we

inaugurated our spruced up

porch with celebratory margs; 

pure delight!

We were hefting our glasses

in toasts to the occasion when

a buck and his spike wandered

into the yard. Still in the velvet,

they made a phenom picture!

I'd be the first to admit my own

romantic take on most things.

Still, it rather felt like my dad

and little brother were coming

over to bless our efforts.

They were absolutely fearless!

Wandered the yard as if they

owned the place. Came within

four or five feet of me whilst

I was picking a handful of

posies for my altar.

Found myself tearing up; 

feel ever so blest . . .

loving summers gifts

helps me learn to live anew

joy in the small things

07/10/2022 - Oh Mary . . .

Dreamt again of family.

I find it quite unnerving . . .

What the hey? Am I just

trying to see them one more

time? Perhaps missing them?

Saying goodbye?

My step-family is ever so

beautiful. 'Tis headed by the

most prodigious matriarch. She

is brilliant; advanced degrees.

Ever gracious and thoughtful,

a true warrior in her own 

right! . . . To say naught of her

beauty, both inner and out!

I so miss the children, her own

babies, and now with babes of 

their own. They are becoming . . .

an amazing feat to witness. 

I find myself ever so proud of 

them!

Accomplished scholastically,

adept in familial circles, fine 

parenting; rather takes pride 

to an entirely new level!

Know I have loved you well. 

I have learned from you . . .

still learning, even now. I say!

Take a bow! You've earned it!

a gift of the gods

may i ever remember

whole new depths of love

07/09/2022

Last evening, some friends

came over for a brewski. 

There was a light rain, so 

we chose to sit on the porch.

Now, this 135 year old porch 

is quite tiny and my gran's

high back chairs aren't really 

comfortable. 

Still . . .  a few candles lit, 

bottles in hand, conversation 

flowing and all is rather 

wondrous!

I get that the evening's delight

was all about the combination

of things. But, methinks that

porch is pure magic. Can't help

but wonder about all the things

that must have happened there

in days of yesteryear. 

My cabin was built by a black

smith. In my mind's eye, I can

see him . . . exhausted after a 

day's work, sitting on the porch, 

maybe a homemade brew in 

hand.

Who know's if his wife was

ever able to take a moment,

sip a cup of tea, rest from her

daily endeavors. Were there

children at her feet, perhaps

playing with bits and pieces

from dad's forge?

Frankly, I much lament that

porches seem to belong to

another era . . . they truly are

absolutely phenom!!!

dreams of yesteryear

olde bearer of memories

times long forgotten

07/08/2022

Methinks, I've won the lottery!

This morn, I get to see another 

friend.

Of course, we all value our 

relationships, albeit by blood

or by that true blue that exists

amongst real friends.

One of the things I've found

interesting as we grow older,

we may have less companions

as we're now retired and see

less people. But, friendships 

cultivated in the wisdom of 

the ages . . . priceless indeed!

What defines The real McCoys 

in friendship? I'm thinking, a

real presence in one's life. It

doesn't really matter if it is 

weekly, monthly or whenever.

What matters is what works

for both parties.

Listening is also incredibly 

important in a friendship . . . 

and both friends listening to 

each other. It can't just be a 

one way street.

Gifts, nice but not important.

It's truly sharing our lives that

matters the most. I beg that I

ever and always be the kind of

friend to others that I'd like to

have for myself.

love you near or far

gift of friendship paramount

ever and always

07/07/2022

So loved seeing my mentor

today . . . she reminded me 

of eras gone by . . .

A life long lived, stories to

be told and shared, ahems to

be dropped and amazement

all 'round!

Can't think of anything more

amusing, durable, valuable, 

than telling tales out of school!

Those precious stories shared 

are rather what makes a life 

important. We tend to forget, 

others than ourselves have lived 

as well! And, they've lessons 

learned and to be compartido!

Today, I found myself dropping

my jaw, chuckling, downright

laughing and struggling against

tears . . . a precious time shared.

In today's world, the oral tradition

no longer properly exists. I so love

the written word, but I rather wish

we hadn't lost that invaluable 

sharing of stories otherwise untold.

My long time friend epitomizes a

life as I long for it to be. Let's learn

to not only enjoy, but to honor those

who have lived a time we've never

experienced.

May we live rather than exist . . . 

may we endure until such a time

we can rejoice in a life heretofore

unknown!

so longing for life

existence tis of no matter

pray lets truly live

07/06/2022

"It takes courage to grow up 

and become who you really 

are." ~ee cummings

In today's culture, seems to 

be a bit of pride surrounding

this whole not growing up 

thing. Not sure exactly where 

I stand on this; I'm thinking, 

I'm thinking!

I believe we all gird up our

loins, sally forth and conquer

when the daily demands are

put upon us. Still, we enjoy 

pandering to the child within

as well!

Loved, enjoyed, cherished 

my 40 years of teaching. Yet,

being at play as an oldster

is priceless. Wonder if this 

doesn't have something to do 

with we old folks becoming 

a bit childish?!

And, no matter how much 

we enjoy our play; bills still

have to be paid, food bought

and prepared, house cleaned.

On the morrow, methinks I'm

going to go get in some trouble

with an old playmate of mine!

Can hardly wait and I already

have picnic ideas . . .

come and play awhile

caprice and whim at its best

can so hardly wait

07/05/2022

Methinks 'tis the morn of the

day after and things are looking

brighter . . . That would be moi 

striving for a better attitude, my

very own promise to myself!

This month marks the beginning

of the second part of the year. I

find myself taking a look-see and

wondering what I'm going to do

with it, to accomplish.

Trying hard not to think about it,

but summer brings about the yard

clean. Birthdays show up, expect

to be celebrated. Visits that don't

happen in the winter, finally come

to fruition. 

One thing that comes to mind . . .

I want to live each moment, in the

moment, rather than constantly in

the looking forward mode. I know

this, but somehow the lesson does

not stick . . . Maybe this time!

So today . . . I am spending it with

my guy, watching some old movies

with popcorn on hand. I'm going to

read in a bit. Always makes me feel

glorious to embrace the written word!

living in the now

a lesson needing learning

promise cross my heart

07/04/2022 - 4th of July

Not sure any of us spend much

time remembering, recalling,

thinking about the meaning of

today.

Methinks that wondrous fam 

of four . . . mom and dad, son

and daughter, are mostly well

served, remembered, celebrated.

Still, what about our attitudes

towards large families, single

moms, single dads, mixed race

homes, gay parents, black fams

etc.

Looking around, I fear we have

forgotten that 4th of July means

liberty for ALL!!! I would like 

to think we get that and truly 

mean it as well.

I challenge us all . . .  and that

includes me . . . Let's work on

our attitudes, really work on

them. Let's celebrate life, and

the freedom to live this life as 

we can and should.

I know none of us have enough

shekels to save the world, but 

we do have enough love to go

around. Let's get right on that!

live life at its best

share the loving all around

lets grow truly grow

Happy 4th of July!

07/03/2022

Today awaits . . . an unopened

present, a pending surprise, a

long hoped for celebration . . .

I often ask myself, "Why is it

that we tend to focus on the

negative when there is still so

much beauty in the world?

'Tis rather like not being able

to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner

due to worrying about who's

going to wash the dishes.

Can't help but wonder if it's 

too late to change the habits

of a lifetime?!

"Damn it, it's raining, or, The

plants are going to love this!"

"Alas, I'm out of shekels, or,

Ever so glad there's plenty of

food in the fridge!" "You're

dragging mud into the house,

or, Incredibly lucky to have a

home!"

Methinks 'tis high time this

camera focuses on the pretty

pictures of my life . . . Sooooo

need to leave the petty behind!

pretty or petty

lets have a petty party

leave petty behind

07/02/2022

"Dedicated to every human 

being who looks different, feels

different, and thinks differently. 

I see you. I feel you. I am you. 

Stay different. Our world needs 

the difference we make." 

~Qasim Chauhan

I was always different . . .

Parents belonged to an unusual

religion. Brother was both blind

and special. Impoverished, hard

working people . . .

No way in hell could I be cookie

cutter! Part of me got quite a kick

out of this, yet another part of me

longed to be part of the crowd . . .

The good thing is, one grows out

of the longing and salutes the

being!

My father was a true eccentric; the

older I get, I find the more I am as 

well. Praise gods for small favors!

Looking back, I have to ask, "What

gifts have eccentricity brought into

my life?"

Glorious kids, phenomenal students,

unusual life experiences, the oddest

of gifts, interesting people, strangest

of dreams . . . the rare . . . ever and

always the rare!

color me grateful 

outside the lines every time

doesn't cover it!!!

07/01/2022

So love me those dwindling moments

just before slipping into dreamstate . . .

so wish I could capture a few!

I find them comforting, almost like a

mother promising a good night's rest.

I do find myself confused, let down,

almost betrayed, when treated to a

nightmare however. Where do these

come from?

A heavy supper? A bit too much to 

drink? Negative thoughts, worries?

Pondering here . . . In the grand

scheme of things, might these be a

warning? 

Every once in a while, a nightmare

is so intense, so horrific, that I don't

even wish to sleep the next few eves.

So need this to be explained to me

by someone who's in the know!

Here's hoping tonight's rest will be

peaceful, coddled in the arms of

sweet dreams . . . 

ever so tired

wishing us all a good night

may sweet dreams abide