04/14/2021

"April showers bring May flowers."

Me thinks someone in charge of the

weather up there has gotten mixed up! 

Promise, cross my heart, it's the white 

and fluffy I'm seeing out there this morn 

and has naught to do with an April wet!

I'm going to make my best effort not to

get into a funk over this. However, we

were hoping to visit some of our kids

over the weekend and my daughter-in-

law and I have tats scheduled! Damn!

Maybe there's a clue here somewhere.

My guy insists that a 4-day snow might

just mean I'm supposed to get my ass

in the kitchen and make some of this

mole I've been writing about. Claims

his mouth is watering!

Here's to those wondrous winter sports, 

happy families and me sitting by the fire!

look out the window

angles at the pillow fights

so not in the mood

"April showers bring May flowers."

*Part of a poem recorded in 1610,

Wikipedia

04/13/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 4

Now, I think we should have been able

to not only try the mole, but as women

involved in a three-day saga, we should

have made a proper meal of it at the end

of the day. Alas, not so . . . and frankly, I

felt my mouth had already been watering 

for several days.

This particular morning was all about

getting ready for the familial banquet.

One of the aunts was all about getting

both brown and black beans ground, 

seasoned and re-fried. Yet another tía 

was prepping all the ingredients for 

guacamole. And, not to forget three 

different kinds of rice; white, yellow 

and red.

There were three chickens on the bake,

being basted and assessed on a regular

basis. I may be a vegetarian, but I could

much appreciate the scents coming from

all directions!.

Family members began arriving. Some

brought flowers, others a bit of vino and

cervezas. Due to the numbers, the fiesta 

was going to be held outside. As people

settled into seats, the tías began bringing 

out plates with mole drenched chicken,

accompanied with rice and beans, guac

and salad. Me thinks the last supper pales!

Mexican people love family and friends,

eating together, playing music and sharing.

The oohs and awes being uttered around

the card tables were most likely music to

the aunts' ears! I would say that the banquet

went on for a couple of hours, but the fiesta

lasted well into the late evening hours.

Not sure whether I'll be allotted a place in

the celestial realm, but I do know I've visited

for several days . . .

04/12/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 3

Me thinks there will always be a bit

of magic in day three of anything. I

completely 'get' that there has to be

prep work in the worthwhile. And,

the prep work for the mole left me in

a state of anticipation barring none.

The ingredients favored by each chef

have to be the secret in the sauce, as

it were. Each of the women brought

and contributed different bits and

pieces of everything . . . from bread 

crumbs to herbs and spices.

By now, there truly was no space in

which to place things. Still, you could

tell that these gals had done plenty of

the same before. Things were moved

closer together and space created. The

different pots of pure chile sauce were

still in the back room.

Then began the discussion of which

ingredients would be used along with

all the whys and wherefores. For 

example, some of the women wanted

to use anise, a licorice flavored seed.

Those not caring for this particular

taste were quite against it. Again, I

could see that this very discussion 

had happened often before. I think 

they settled on using just a very little.

Fresh herbs were placed together next

to one of the blenders and the aunt in

charge got to work. Dry herbs were

in another corner of the room with yet

another blender and another aunt.

One aunt began straining different juices,

liquids and broths. Vegetable broth, beef 

and chicken broth were used to enhance 

flavor in the mole. I found it interesting 

that no bean broth was used. I did ask

about it and was told that the flavor was

too overwhelming.

I stood and watched, mouth agape and

hardly able to take it all in. Clockwork

would have paled in comparison to

these women at work. I wish I could

have seen it all in slow motion. I wish

the entire event could have been filmed

for the duration. I wished and wished . . .

It wasn't long before I was put to work.

I did everything from fetch and go, to

grinding bread crumbs in an age old

molcajete. Huge vats were brought out

and slowly but surely, chile and other

ingredients were mixed with long wooden

spoons.

Then the tasting began, and with the

tasting, bits and pieces were added until

each of the cooks were satisfied. Our

three day prepping and cooking was

over . . . and the eating was just about

to begin.

04/11/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 2

The second day, I awakened to the 

anticipation of 'fem fam' and mole 

preconceptions. Me thinks I was as

excited as my wedding day! We had 

a quick coffee and some of Mexico's 

famous Pan Dulce and we were off. 

Pots sitting on ever orifice were now

getting all the attention. I imagined

we would drain the water but not so.

A couple of cups of both soaked chiles

and water were put in the blender. 

Once processed, the contents were put

through a tight strainer and then back

into the blender to be processed over

and over; once again strained.

There were so many pots of chiles that

one blender would have burned up with

so much usage. Looking back, I think

each of the women brought their blenders

so they could be traded off and rested.

Indeed, it took several hours to process

each of the different pots of chiles. 

No way, could all of the pots, now filled

with pure strained chile, been fit into any

normal refrigerator. So, they were placed

on the floor of a dark back bedroom and

covered with upside down lids. This way,

ice could be placed in each lid without

running off onto the floor.

Again, I felt the rigors of the day and 

looked forward to a rest, an eat and some

shared stories. I must say, there is no

experience that can compare to a group

of Mexican women, comfortable with

each other . . . laughing, jesting, and

telling tales out of school. I may or may

not have joined in, but mostly I sat there

in awe and wanted to be just like them

when I grew up.

It was a hot, hot day and as the evening

cooled off, there was porch and Corona

time. As much as I was enjoying, the

floor and my sleeping bag awaited me. I

fell asleep, smiling with the anticipation

of what the next day would bring.

04/10/2021 - Mole Saga, Day 1

The story behind the scenes . . .

I was a newlywed 19 year old when

the women of my husband's family

requested I come and meet with them

for three days. This was such an honor

and I was quite touched. Add in that

my spouse wasn't invited and the

suspense was almost unbearable.

Turns out that as the newest member 

of the family, I was to be taught the

age old family recipe for making mole.

Wow! Just W O W !!!

First of all, I had to promise that I'd

never share the recipe with anyone

other than my daughters. Secondly,

it was explained to me that this was

a three day process and I would learn

as we went along.

Ever so fun; there were several fam

women present. We sat in a circle

around the kitchen table and began

'plucking' dried chiles. By this, I mean

break off the stem, shake out as much

of the seeds as possible, throw it in

an awaiting pot of water and onto the

next.

We sat, plucked, shared tales out 

of school, all of which made the 

never ending process doable! At 

the end of the day, looking around 

us, I could see pots of all sizes 

filled with water and dried chiles, 

just waiting to be turned into magic!

I was exhausted . . . so not used to

sitting for six hours or so, bending

over the chiles . . . stem, shake,

throw in a pot of water, over and

over again! 

And then I sneezed, my eyes watered

and you can guess what came next.

I swear, I screamed. With six or so

hours of chile on my hands, you can

imagine what it must have felt like

when I rubbed my eyes. Once I

recovered, we all had a good laugh,

but even to this day, this still happens.

Tonight, the chiles will soak; tomorrow

begins the saga of Day 2! 

To be continued . . .

p.s. No, I will not be breaking my word.

No recipes will be shared . . .

04/09/2021

I was finding myself a bit down . . .

SADS is interesting; you never quite

know when it's going to hit you. And

when it does, watch out!

I've learned to be somewhat proactive,

so I built a fire, lit some candles, put on

some music and served myself a small

glass of wine. Scene set . . . and me at

the ready to feel better pronto!

And then SHE arrived. By 'she' I mean

my bestie. Once in a while she's able to

travel from parts unknown, spend some

time with me and virtually save my life.

We sat by the fire, wine in hand, the 

words simply pouring out of us . . .

should have been difficult to even

understand, but somehow it all made

sense.

We'd laugh, tear up, interrupt each

other, remember something and stick it

in the conversation one way or another.

What an evening; I pray I never forget it!

Frankly, I'm coming to the idea that I 

need to redefine those precious words;

friend, friendship. I get that we all have

our ideas, definitions, meanings of the

words. Still, when an amazing friend

of three decades encompasses every

idea you've ever had about friendship,

'tis time for a look see . . .

 . . . her name is Alice!

need me some friend time

friend by any other name

makes life bearable

04/08/2021

It all started with my guy feeling

peckish. Add into that, he'd been

thinking of family, home and

childhood treats . . .

He came up to bed with his fave

cereal bowl. In it, he had broken

up an ice cream sandwich, added

proper ice cream and covered in

all in milk, if you can believe it!

He said it was nothing; he grew

up with Miracle Whip 'n banana

sandwiches.

Rather made me think of my own

childhood crazies. Have you ever

had a dill pickle and peanut butter 

sandwich? Then there's the comfort

food of mac 'n cheese with Velveeta

cheese . . . and don't forget peanut 

butter filled celery sticks with raisins. 

I know! I know! It's all about being

kids . . . But wait, I seem to recall

being pregnant and yearning for

some of these . . .

Yikes! Yuck!! No way!!! NO!

Wouldn't be caught dead . . . 

crazy fetishes 

a walk down memory lane

color me yearning 

04/07/2021

Feeling lucky . . .

I got to see my friend today. She hales

from my home town. We even got to

teach together for three years.

She is amazing! Friendship means so

much to her. She blows me away with

her commitment. It shows in every-

thing she does.

She thinks nothing of driving several 

hours to visit a bestie. She makes a 

point of staying in touch by making 

and sending handmade cards. She 

telephones from time to time. She

gardens and cans and shares. Wow!

In looking at our lives, the important

parts, me thinks we would do well to

realize that joy shared is the greatest

of all gifts!

We all live in that busy, busy, busy

state of mind. I rather like the idea

of stealing a few moments a day

from all that busy. 

It probably takes 15 minutes to write 

and stamp a postcard. An e-mail, a 

text, a phone call might rob you of 

a few minutes, but any of those will 

make someone's day!

Bet it will be fun to come up with

a couple of ideas for shining bright

on the dark days!

You are my inspiration . . .

so needs me some fun

tis a cold dark winter world 

lets invent some sun

04/06/2021 - Courage 4

I so enjoyed turning 70! Especially as 

my doc and three specialists gave me

only a couple of months to live after 

I cracked my skull open in a fainting.

But somehow, 71 brought down this

crashing reality . . . I'm in that last

quarter of the human life-span in

which I could go on the morrow or

live to 99. Frankly, it's hard to know 

just what to wish for . . . and God,

does this last round ever require

courage!!!

I forget things, important things! I

ask myself, "Is this from my cracked

skull accident in which I lost about

17% of my memory? Or, does it 

have to do with me being about 100

years old?"

I have black and blue marks on my

bod that I have zero idea when and

where I got them. Sleeping patterns

are now nonexistent  . . . If I have a

cup of coffee, that night is out the

window . . . although I usually sleep

about 10 hours the next day!

I'm in that place where I tell friends

a story and I can see in their eyes

and reactions they've only heard it

about sixteen times! I find myself

longing, nay . . . NEEDING to see

my children more often, something

to do with my fear, I suppose, that 

I'm on my way out!

So, me thinks 'tis time to leave my

thoughts on courage and get off my

duff and enjoy whatever time the

gods decide to gift me! And, maybe

you should come and visit and I'll

regale you with a few tales out of

school for the sixteenth time!

bring on the courage

ill take it at any price

cannot go out lame

p.s. Thanks Pat, guess I needed this!

Here's to courage for both of us!

04/05/2021 - Courage 3

This walk down memory lane 

has been hard, really rough . . . 

but, I'm not sorry for having 

taken a look see . . .

I so thank the Universe that 

I was able to land a teaching 

job in the US. Not only was 

it my saving grace, teaching 

is truly the love of my life!

My children, my own babies, 

will ever and always be my 

first love. Having said that, 

other people's children will 

always come next.

There is nothing in the whole

wide world like teaching . . . 

a sacred commitment to open 

the doors and windows of the 

universe for our young people.

Taking teens by the hand and

leading them into the wonders

of a heretofore unknown world

must be the greatest challenge

a teacher has ever been given. 

All kids deserve a teacher who

says, "I am not going to let you

fail because I see more in you

than you see in yourself. I will

go to the end of the earth to

make sure school is what you

need it to be." Bored Teachers

Perhaps, it takes a modicum

amount of courage to face a

classroom each and every day.

For me though, the courage

needed was to leave the class-

room after 41 years of teaching.

Nearly broke my heart . . . 

 . . . I miss it every single day 

of my life!

To be continued . . .

04/04/2021 - Courage 2

My memory takes a peek at those two

small children, my children . . .

In a strange country, not knowing the

language, having no friends and missing

their papi. Sometimes, in the middle of

the night, I find myself actually quaking 

at the audacity I had to ask, nay 'make' my

own children go through this experience.

New school, bus rides, language learning

and I can't even begin to imagine the fear

they must have felt at every turn. Now,

think of that awesome word COURAGE,

and I will show you courage!

'Tis beyond the pale what these two kids

endured due to their mother's caprice to

return 'home'. And no, we weren't home.

We had left our home behind. Once in a

while, my little girl would catch me in

tears. She would ask, "Estás triste mami?"

My God, out of the mouth of babes . . .

what right did I even have to be sad when

my own children lived from one clueless

moment to the next?! ~!@#$%^&*()_+

So, here's to real courage, the courage

that must be dredged up from the bottom

of the soul when faced with scenarios

not of your own making. I bow to my

children; I kneel at their feet. I have 

never, ever witnessed courage such as

they displayed . . . ever so young . . .

To be continued . . .

04/03/2031 - Courage 1

"Please tell the story of how you were

courageous enough to stick around 

Mexico as such a young woman and 

how you gained courage to start over 

while carrying responsibility for your

children back in the states." ~Pat Salas

I have to smile as Pat Salas, District 14

Counselor and Colleague, is one of the

most courageous souls I've ever met!

Pat refers to my 20 year sojourn in Mexico.

I was there from 17-37, greatest adventure

ever! Having finished high school in three

years, I took what would have been my

senior year, at a parochial boarding school

in Mexico. Vastly different from anything

I had ever encountered, it was interesting,

fascinating, amazing and I wouldn't have

missed it for the world.

What I didn't expect, was to be courted,

engaged, married, educated . . . and best

of all, to become a mother. Somehow, I

found each and every experience to be

phenomenal. When the children were

still pre-school, we moved further south 

to teach at a university. My father came 

down and built our home . . . and, we 

were set for life.

Alas, the unexpected can happen in life,

and the time came to return to the US.

This is where courage came into play. 

I returned to the known, as it were. Yet,

I found everything to be so different, so

changed. I no longer knew the idioms,

the nuances of language. I didn't know

dress and styles. I didn't understand the

social realm. I was lost in my own land.

To be continued . . .

04/02/2021

Today marks a year since my

good friend's passing. Her man

wrote this morning, honoring 

her and missing her.

They were great friends as well

as partners, having been married

some 65 years. Theirs was a fine,

strong relationship, one most of

us have yearned for. And yet, he

wonders if he knew her as well

as he might have.

I wonder why we hold ourselves

back in our relationships?! Is it

that we want to keep a bit of

ourselves for ourselves? Is it fear?

Is it pride? Are we protecting our

hearts in case of the ultimate hurt?

Obviously, I'm somewhat on my

way out; but, it's never too late.

I am determined to share every 

last bit of myself with my lover 

now, before it's too late. And . . .

why not be just as open with 

friends as well? 

Me thinks there's so little to lose 

and ever so much to gain . . .

so want to know me

ever learning my lessons

so want to know you