08/13/2020

"It's been a long time since I've been me."

~Fernando Pesso

I happened upon the above quote yesterday

and it greatly saddened me. I talk about this

from time to time, perhaps too often. But, 

it's ever so important to be oneself.

Actually, I don't think important is a strong

enough word. Kids are about pleasing their

parents. Teens are obsessed with becoming.

Adults please their spouses and employers.

Does this mean that we don't actually look

into self-becoming until we're retired and

elder? Overwhelmingly sad, if you ask me.

There needs to be some serious thought 

put into this topic . . . followed by action! 

If we as parents, could encourage our 

children to simply 'be', being themselves

would automatically follow. I am so not

suggesting that there be no order in the

universe. Children have to be tended,

jobs worked, chores done . . . but there

must always be time and place for self

expression.

Let's make the effort; let's see to it . . .

so want to be me

who do i ask permission

ready to die now

08/12/2020

Sitting by our little pool and fountain early

this morn . . . I was visited by our fave

robin whose been coming for about three

years now. Most robins live around a year,

some several years. Ours, as we like to call

him, is at least three. He flew down into the

pool and drank copiously, about five feet

from me. And then, for the first time, a

female joined him. Looks like we were

grandfathered into an already established

relationship as she flew right to the pool

as well.

We are ever so lucky with our birds. We

have a few pots of flowers sitting around

outside. The hummingbirds like to zoom 

in on the Monarda Balmy Rose for starters.

From there, they hit my Mexican Day of the

Dead Marigolds, and finally up to the purple 

thistle for dessert. Interestingly enough,

they also drink from the edge of the pond,

but they don't light.

In the back yard, we have all manner of 

birds enjoying the ground. They are all

a blessing and I so love watching them.

Me thinks they are the greatest treasure

the dinos of yesteryear ever left us.

love our feathered friends

of birds and beauty i sing

may they live most long

08/11/2020

We've been working on the yard for

a couple of days and I hurt all over!

This aging business is certainly better

than the alternative, but as we're now

dealing in the loss of beauty, do we 

really have to have so much pain as 

well?! The yard is looking good and

I def am NOT!

I've often thought that this gift of age,

the alternative not being attractive, is

all about those last lessons life has to

teach us before we pass onto another

realm, whatever that may be. This

needs some thinking about! What am

I learning here?

For one thing, tat old adage . . .

'Patience in all things' comes to mind.

Seems I've always been in a hurry, I

want things done at the snap of a finger.

Not to forget, 'If you want it done right, 

do it yourself' . . . Alas, I don't seem to

have the requisite energy any more, so

there comes the need for patience once

again. Did I just say ONCE again?

I get it . . . maybe, just maybe, I have an

issue with patience, or lack thereof, that

needs dealing with. I'll get rigt on that;

shouldn't take long . . .

loath my many flaws

thought id be perfect by now

not bloody likely

08/10/2020

Always enjoy our weekend adventures;

make no mistake! Still, one is visited

with aches and pains in places one had

never thought about before~ And then,

just one night in that bed at home . . .

and suddenly, you're feeling a bit like

your ld self!

In thinking about the whole going home

paradigm, there are ever so many homes

to go to. When I see my children, there is

def a kind of going home! When I talk to

my father, the going home is absolutely

apparent. I would imagine that for the 

Christian, the second coming is the

ultimate going home.

We're feeling our hard times of late. What

we need are a few more of these going

home episodes. Let's look for them. I

imagine that each person has their own. 

Still, for now, let's all go home!

so want to go home

need to find myself again

much comfort awaits

08/09/2020

Last day of fam birthday fun! Our

master chef is cooking up a storm,

per usual. He is beyond brilliant in

front of a stove. In fact, I suspect

I'll be gaining back those pesky

unwanted pounds. Damn it!

There is something so calming up

here at 9,000 feet or so. Not sure

what it is, perhaps it's all about

being closer to heaven. But, the

beauty that surrounds us is beyond

amazing!

This last day is a juxtaposition 'twist

the sorrow of an ending . . . the joy

shared for several days, and looking

forward to getting home to a shower

and proper bed.

How fortunate, lucky actually, we are

to have such family in our lives.

ever so lucky

dear family one and all

our love so abounds

08/08/2020

Pinecliffe is one stunning place!

I rather lament that we arrived in

the dark, but perhaps going home,

we'll see all the beauty we missed

on our arrival.

We are hours away from home,

but even here there are vestiges

of modern civilization. Helicopters

have flown over, a train has gone

by . . . and the houses . . . WOW!

Must be multimillionaires. Alas,

there are also some shacks I

wouldn't be caught dead in . . .

What does that say about me?

Most of the fam is off for a hike.

What a way to enjoy this beauty

first hand. I do recognize we all

believe a bit differently, but who

ever created this incredible earth

deserves praise most phenomenal!

And me thinks these hikes take

one up the mountain and nearer

to God, just whoever he or she

might be.

hale to the byways

so grander than the highways

invite me to stay

08/07/2020

I had forgotten just how much work

a familial birthday camping trip could

be. One of the great things about 70

is treatment with much consideration.

But, my old guy keeps up with the

best of them . . . something for me

to think about . . . or not!

I found all the shopping prior to the

trip quite fun. Then, the kids went

again. There'll be plenty of groceries

for all and sundry. 'Tis going to be

a blast; make no mistake. Me thinks

my diet is wrecked already and I

haven't even started eating yet.

We've all gathered at our meeting

place and are soon to depart, I find

myself halfway 'twixt and 'tween

excitement and excitement. I can

hardly wait! Almost feel young again

 . . . almost . . . and I do know a

young gal who is going to have a

very happy b-day!!!

seeking my lost youth

thought i would find it camping

not bloody likely

08/06/2020

I'm not sure just what to believe anymore!

I know! I know! 'Tis a spin-off from my

rant yesterday . . . still, I'm not quite 

finished!

I do have friends, in the know, who share

with me which newscasts are real as others

take liberties . . . poetic license? On the 

other hand, my guy watches all the news he

can and later shares with me. I find myself

wanting to interrupt and ask, "Is this from

a REAL newscast or one of those that guild

the lily? Not precisely a good way to start

the day with your better half!

I wish I could make up my mind. There are

arguments for being informed, which is as

it should be . . . and those of us who would

like to live in the dark and feel guilty about

it. Oh well, nuff said . . . I'll continue to be

informed and just bitch about it! You might

not want to visit me right after a newscast!

stop your complaining

learning to laugh at myself

no news is good news

08/05/2020

Me thinks I need to hide away 'midst all 

the newscasts. My guy watches them all 

and often stops the commentary to make

his own. Then he proceeds to share . . .

The news, for me,  has always been hard 

to bear. But 2020, should win the all time

top award for the down and dirty casts.

What to do? I get that news is important.

It isn't just 'nice' to know what's going 

on locally and in the world today; it's 

essential. Down with the old 'head in 

the sand' ploy. Still, where's a happy

medium . . .

Maybe I could get a shorthand version

by just reading the headlines. Though,

I guess you have to receive newspapers

to make that happen. Perhaps, I can

make a deal with my man . . . he can

give me the shorthand version of the

news and then I won't have to kill him

for going on and on about it . . .

 . . . never said I was normal!

no news is good news

head in the sand evermore

ignorance is bliss

08/04/2020

Today, I find myself halfway 'twixt and 'tween

sorrow and anticipation. One of my dearest

friends is hurting and I feel that pain. On the

other side of sorrow, is the anticipation of my

daughter-in-law's birthday . . . a family camp

out; bring it on!

One of the hardest things I've ever had to 

deal with as an empath, is sorrow. I make it

a point to keep my circle small in my elder

years . . . not to exclude anyone, but to cope

with so much feeling. It can't be explained

really. I thought I would have learned to

control it by now. No such luck!

Still, I feel an intensity in joy that is not to

be taken lightly. I much look forward to 

the relief from sorrow. For today, joy awaits!

must learn my lessons

will the sorrow ever pass

long to feel no pain

08/03/2020

This morning my friend left. I was sad

to see her go, but one must always return 

home. Made me think, in this precarious 

world, friendship is such an amazing gift. 

With all the negativity surrounding us at 

present, 'tis a most wondrous thing to be 

reminded of its power and blessings to us.

What does being a real friend NOT look 

like? Certainly, it's not just a celebration

on February 14th. Neither is it about our

convenience. And obviously we don't 

plan for inconvenience. Things happen

when they happen.

So, what does being a real friend actually

look like? Perhaps 'tis the odd card in the

mail. An unexpected note in our e-mail.

Maybe flowers sent from time to time or

a special gift when it's no one's birthday.

Still, listening is one of the greatest gifts

we can give . . . and simply 'being there'

when needed. God help me remember . . .

so loved seeing you

will there be another time

much joy in sharing

08/02/2020

I Confess ~Alison Lutermann

I stalked her

in the grocery store: her crown

of snowy braids held in place by a great silver clip,

her erect bearing radiating tenderness,

watching

the way she placed yogurt and avocados in her

basket,

beaming peace like the North Star.

I wanted to ask, “What aisle did you find

your serenity in, do you know

how to be married for fifty years or how to live    

alone,

excuse me for interrupting, but you seem to              

possess 

some knowledge that makes the earth turn and

burn on its axis.”

But we don't request such things from strangers 

nowadays. So I said, “I love your hair.”

I shared Lughnasadh yesterday with some

pretty phenomenal women, the kind you

can ask such questions of. They reminded

me of true values . . . generosity, kindness,

openness, acceptance. I believe I'm the

luckiest gal in the world to have such women

in my life. Inspires me to personal growth; 

I so want to be worthy!

pray you be my friend

longing to share chat and tears

fears and joy as well

08/01/2020 - Lughnasadh

August 1st is an exciting day for me as 

well as for other practicing Pantheists. 

Lammas, in the Christian belief system 

or Lughnasadh, in the Pagan world . . . 

halfway between the first day of summer 

and the first day of fall. One of the things 

I most appreciate about this time of year 

is that we are all united in the same 

celebration, albeit under different names.

I do love watching the changing of the 

seasons. Today, I find myself recalling 

the joys of summer and looking forward 

to this peek into Autumn. So, how shall

we celebrate?

It's important we recognize and honor

earth's bounty, hence breaking bread 

together reminds us of the precious gift 

of grains that sustain us. This may be 

done in church, in a sacred circle or 

around the familial table. Me thinks 

we must never again take our breads, 

cereals, puddings, or even corn on the 

cob for granted!

I'm hungry just thinking about it! 

Even now, I feel that melted butter 

dripping off my chin as I bite into 

that amazing corn on the cob . . . 

Let's celebrate!

bless you sweet mother 

your own sustaining bounty 

we must honor you