07/13/19

Alas, me thinks OVERINDULGENCE
is the term of the day. It most likely has
something to do with wanting to squeeze
out every last iota of joy from our mini-vay.
Get up too early, eat too many pancakes,
drink too many Bloody Marys, drive too
many miles, shop too many antique stores,
eat too much Mexican food, build the bonfire
too big, talk too long into the night, go to bed
too late and do it all again on the morrow.
And nooooo regrets whatsoever. This is the
stuff memories are made of!

dying on the vine
more adventures lie in wait
anxious to suffer

07/12/19

Me thinks Colorado must be where
heaven is actually located! Obviously,
I'm biased, but that's not the point.
Spending days in the most majestic
spaces ever witnessed by humankind,
said conclusion is reached almost
automatically! We've seen white tail
deer by day and bats flying by night.
I'm almost afraid to mention the soaring
hawks; I have to pinch myself!

such beauty humbles
find myself bending the knee
and blessing the gods

07/11/19

There is something beyond magnificent
about being up in the mountains by a
beautiful lake at the annual familial celeb.
It's rather an amazing renewal of spirit.
This morning, I sit here looking out over
cotton candy clouds, bright blue skies,
vivid green trees, a gentle breeze, and I
find myself wishing that when it's my
time to go, let it be here! I am so utterly
happy! WOW! Just WOW!!! Rather
makes one believe in God! Such beauty
is almost Disney-esque, if you will! I
want to stay! Please don't take me home!!
 . . . ever!!!

different kind of beauty
now redefining happy
come and play with me

07/10/19

Funny things about plans, isn't it?! You
can make them until the cows come home,
but that doesn't necessarily mean you're
in charge and that things will unfold as
YOU wish them to. I guess what I'm really
wondering is, "Who indeed does make
things happen?" and/or, "Do we actually
have that much to say about it?" There is
a wondrous old Yiddish adage, "Man plans,
and God laughs." . . . Me thinks that says
it all. Bottom line, I guess we can and
should, go ahead with our lives, our plans,
but keep an open mind as to the changes
that occur that really have nothing to do
with us. Life at its best, right?!

so love me some plans
the fun is in the making
lets go anyway

07/09/19

I've been dreaming of my mom of late.
She lived with us the last three and a half
years of her life . . . but, that's a story for
another day. I was always much closer to
my dad, so it was somewhat amazing for
her to end her days with us. I saw no point
to getting into it with her whilst she lived
with us, so I determined I would talk to her
about things on my mind after she passed.
It's been an interesting process. I simply
greet her . . . and little by little I've visited
with her, as it were, about things on my
mind. Perhaps, I should have talked to her
lo these many years ago. It has helped;
I highly recommend this!

mom its been awhile
theres some things needs talked about
lets have a sit down

07/08/19

I struggle 'twixt and 'tween trying to
accept myself just as I am and still
seek personal growth. Perhaps that's a
perfect conundrum for a very unbalanced
Libra. When I look at the Libra scales, I
have to stifle a snicker as I always envision
myself wavering from one to the other.
I've wondered about the afterlife, even as
a child, but perhaps the truth is, heaven is
just a balancing of those very tipsy scales!

where to go from here
a place a time distant lands
paradigms ahoy

07/07/19

This morning, I've been reading about the
thrill-seeking related deaths in Colorado
that have occurred so far this year. Rather
beyond heartbreak. I have no answers, but
I do have questions. Are our lives so small
that only in seeking death do we find that
orgasmic thrill that keeps us alive?! Seems
to me that Mother Nature gifted us with that
eight-second petite mort . . . 'tis all about
proportion . . . and now we seem to want
to live there! Those eight-seconds are the
frosting on the cake, the spicy hot of delectable
food, that surprise of sweet and sour . . .
I repeat, and now we want to live there?!
There has to be something wrong with this
picture!

me seeking balance
may be the laugh of all time
still i want to try

07/06/19

I'm supposedly retired . . . so what exactly
does that mean?! Ice cream for breakfast?
Sleep in late? Take a nap if I damn well
want to? Get up at 2:00 a.m. and watch a
movie? Get in the car and go? Oh, I forgot . . .
do I have the shekels to follow my whims?!
All well and good, but sometimes I find
myself longing for, missing, STRUCTURE.
Me thinks I may need a psychiatrist . . .
seriously! Ah, to hell with structure! Come
on over and play!

missing my old life
struggling to try something new
come over and play

07/05/19

Me thinks SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
has more to do with the 4th of July
than the Rice Krispies of yesteryear.
I found myself smiling as I was
falling asleep to those nostalgic
sounds of patriotic noises last night.
The things I love most about our
national holiday would be the familial
get togethers and the remembrances
of those intangible things that are ever
so important and only thought of
around this time of year. I do pray
our RED, WHITE and BLUES, our
SNAP, CRACKLE, POPS last longer
than just that one evening of our lives.

more than just a date
patriot days of summer
ever in our hearts

07/04/19

Maiden, mother, crone . . . who are we?
Are we the three? My daughter, myself
and my mother? Or, do the three exist
in each of us as we experience the paths
of this life? I can't help but wonder if
we don't experience all three at different
points of our lives, or even on a daily basis.
I do recognize in my own life that I have
different levels of maturity several times
a day, for different reasons. I do so love
it when my own wisdom hits me over the
head from time to time. And then, I revert
to the child within as I tantrum with the
best of them! So, do I get to choose? Or,
do I simply accept that my psyche houses
the three and get on with it?!

always a mother
so leaving the child behind
longing for the crone

07/03/19

Illusive thoughts running through my mind,
tantalizing my sleepy imagination . . . an
effort, perhaps, to inspire an awakening?
Might I actually possess the moxie to rise
and shine from my self-induced coma?!
Alas, 'tis ever so much easier to exist
rather than to live . . . what might the
price of courage actually be?

pray grant me courage
alas fear stands in my way
trembling i stand forth

07/02/19

So love me some dead of night!
'Tis when the best thinking happens.
All things suddenly become clear,
possible even. I've always been a
moon worshiper, night virtually
preferable to day . . . go figure!
Nighttime is magical, mystical,
miraculous! Just bring me some
moon time, some nighttime, and
I may just make it . . .

magical moonlight
makes me happy every time
pray bring me some luck

07/01/19

That little girl, her eyes full of starlight,
her heart filled with hope and her mind
dancing in Never Never Land; I believe
she might have been me . . . How sad
that in adulthood, we must somehow
grow into the now, accept the quote,
unquote normal and learn to behave.
I want that dreamy child, the ever . . .
That's who I want to be when I grow up.
I need to go back to believing in fairies
and magic, unlearn the fear of monsters
and nightmares. I want my daddy to hold
my hand when I'm learning something new;
I like it when my little brother claps in glee
with my successes and even my mom with
a ready hanky for my tears. Why, oh why,
did I have to spoil it all, just to grow up?!

long live my dream world
been an adult far too long
come back little girl