09/13/2020

Me thinks I am born again . . .

Alas, last night I was once again attacked 

with this unknown malady. I was screaming

ill from 7:00 - 1:30 a.m. I truly believe I've

paid for all my sins, even those I have yet

to commit! I'm going to get right on that!

What is it about illness that returns us to a

childhood we thought we had left behind?!

I yelled at my father over and over, asking,

nay demanding, that he heal me. Poor man.

Must be how God feels when we take our 

angst, anger, issues, out on him!

Today, I'm fine. I'm going to make an attempt

though, to stay in touch, via remembering . . . 

but, oh how fast the mind forgives and forgets 

all! Not quite sure what to give up? Chile?

Hot peppers? Margaritas? Coronitas? Seconds?

Ya, I get it; 'tis my fault entirely!

oh body be mine

promise i will treat you right

if you believe that . . .

09/12/2020

Morning of the day after . . .

Our hearts were beyond broken, and we

really couldn't believe we had survived.

How does one survive as the heart breaks

over and over again?!

Every year we hark back to that horrific

day and remember, but do we remember

to be better people? Do we remember to

strive to live peacefully? Do we remember

to be gentle, kinder, more thoughtful?

Today, we awaken to the morning of the

day after. What I want or need to face, as

I recall the horrors of yesteryear is . . .  

to be, to become, to grow. Alas, it's ever

so easy to forget. We get bogged down in

the every day mundanity of our lives and

put our promises to ourselves on the back

burner.

Today is that day! Today is the morning

of the day after! Time may be running out;

we must not wait any longer. BE who you

want to be! It's time to LIVE, not EXIST!!!

walk on the bright side

leaving that darkness behind

live and love in light

09/11/2020 - Remembering . . .

In sorrow, we remember . . .

I was in my first class of the day, some

three dozen teenagers before me, when

all of a sudden, the classroom television

came on and announced that tragedy of

tragedies . . . the entire world in sorrow.

We all know the stats. We can recall that

day as if it were only just happening. We

remember the heartbreak and that almost

fictional quality of unbelievable! Sooooo,

where do we go from here?!

Me thinks 'tis high time we birth a new

world. New ways of approaching issues.

New coping mechanisms. New patterns

of thought. New dreams to create. New

lives to be lived!

Nine eleven and all the heartbreak therein,

can never be eased nor erased. But we can 

choose to learn from it and build a better 

world, a world well worth living in.

Let's re-birth ourselves and truly become

who we want to be when we grow up!

dream dreams of better

be who we're meant to be 

never settling 

09/10/2020

"There's a difference between knowing

the path and walking the path." ~Morpheus

I acknowledge that everyone's path is

different. I also accept that each of us

has been called to walk our paths at a

distinct point during our lives . . . and

no two paths are exactly the same.

Some are called to the ministry of

serving others. Few are gifted the lime

light where they can influence for either

good or bad. There are those who lead

quiet lives, ever in the background 

supporting others and making life 

more bearable. And alas, there are 

those who do not accept the call . . .

I pray I will always have the courage,

the wit and will, the wherewithal, to

accept that call and be true to myself.

May we all . . .

hearing my own call

step up stand up be counted

praying for courage

09/09/2020

Ever since I found out about the upcoming

snow, I've been so angry I could spit! I was 

pissing, moaning and groaning like a spoiled 

brat! In my defense, I suffer from SADS and

frankly, would do most anything to delay the

onset of Winter.

Then, I remembered the fires . . . and I began

praying with the rest of the world for a truly

heavy snow. I realize of course, that initially

all I could think about was myself. I was and 

am ever so embarrassed by my incredible 

selfishness and insensitivity! Alas, that led me

to wonder how many other times I've been

angry or annoyed without looking at all sides

of each scenario.

It may be an over simplification to compare

my own shortcomings with world issues, but

I look at the tensions between countries, wars,

and misunderstandings and I ask . . . "Could 

it possibly be that we simply don't look at all 

sides of the equations?!"

I pray I grow up a tad and learn to look closely

before throwing another childish fit!!!

little miss tantrum 

how old did you say you were

grow up already

09/08/2020

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

~Judy Garland, The Wizard of Oz

Me thinks yesterday will ever be an epic

day in my own personal history! We

decided to have a sit down by the pond

and enjoy what might be the last of our

summer weather, when all of a sudden . . .

 . . . a sizable, black bear came sauntering

up our walk, straight toward us! We have

a system in place, so we got up calmly, or

not . . . and walked into the cabin. From

there, we could watch him checking things

out. Felt a bit weird having him walk right

by us with only a screen door in between!

He snooped back and forth and finally

went on up the trail. There's an old cellar

type cache right above us; we think a 

family of yesteryear probably kept some

of their supplies in it. Mr. Bear forced

his way in, bottom first, but didn't seem 

to find anything of interest.

He finally sauntered off and we returned

to enjoy the last visages of warmth . . .

day of miracles

ms nature strutting her stuff

ever be in awe

09/07/2020

Traveling due East at o' dark thirty this

a.m. we were witnesses to a breathtaking

miracle of our Mother Earth. It felt like

Mr. Sun was playing peek-a-boo because

all of a sudden, he raised his head just

above the mountains before us. It wasn't

long before he displayed himself in all

his glory . . . simply unbelievable!

Alas, due to the smoke coming our way

from the California fires, he was a stunning

burnished orange and one could look straight

at him and even keep the eyes fixed on him.

I actually found myself tearing up over this

magnificence before us.

I must confess, I am a lunar child by nature

and although I love and appreciate the sun,

I am so in awe of our Lunar mother that

sometimes I simply take Father Sun for 

granted. NOT today, however! Me thinks

that I'll never forget today's fashion show

for as long as I live . . .

a celestial dance

so pleased to be invited

bowing heads in awe

09/06/2020

"Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown.

Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus."

sensitivity

Ran across this one and nigh onto laughed 

myself into hysterics! Frankly, I find myself

asking, 'Do we ever change? Do we ever grow?

Do we ever grow up? Do we ever, ever dismiss

that negativity and bad habits or are we just

faking it and convincing ourselves we're doing

a bit better?! ~!@#$%^&*()_+

At this wondrous age of 70, I cast the odd glance

across the eons of my life hoping to find a pattern

of growth and change. What I actually see, is a

younger, freer me with some of the above, but

mostly, I am ME!!!

Perhaps, what I should be seeking rather than

growth and change . . .  a greater acceptance

and understanding of both myself and others! 

Maybe the answers I am seeking, lie in the

realm of patience rather than transformation?!

I don't think that means, 'To hell with it; I'm

going to be me and that's that!' Rather, learning

to accept myself and my foibles with the same

grace as I do in other people. Certainly worth

pondering!

i am who i am

just when i was having fun

must grow up sometime

09/05/2020

"I'm so lonesome, I could cry." ~Hank Williams

I've always been mind-boggled by how one can

feel lonely in a crowd, and yet it happens. It

seems to me that the loneliness felt must stem

from a sense of not being part of the whole.

Obviously, there are times when the crowd

around you is unknown to you, as in shopping

or watching a movie at the theater on your own.

Another scenario is when you find yourself at

a social gathering and you're the only one who

happens to have opposing political views. Or

perhaps you're the only one who isn't married

with children. Somehow, you're separated from

the group by a single factor.

I imagine that in relationships, similar feelings

arise when the other is bogged down with work

or problem-solving. In today's world, we often

don't even know our neighbors, nod our heads

in greeting rather than speaking. And, if you're

not one to go to a church, a particular club or 

fraternity, it's yet another isolating factor.

Some would say, 'Join in!' I'm more of the idea

to become comfortable with yourself. Itemize 

your traits, the things you like about yourself.

DO the things you enjoy rather than sitting

home wishing you had someone to do them

with. Get up! Dress up!! Get out and about!!!

Me thinks you'll find others seeking you out

once you've become comfortable with yourself.

You may even find that you prefer your own

company!

alone not lonely

good company on my own

tis a conundrum 

09/04/2020

"Water, water everywhere . . .

 . . . and not a drop to drink."

~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Ponder the gift of water . . . not necessarily

one we think about on a daily basis. When

I lived on the West coast of Mexico, I had

to boil our water or buy bottled water in

5-gallon carboys. Interestingly enough,

the further south I moved, the cleaner the

water!

In my 130 year old cabin, you absolutely

can NOT have but one water running. You 

can shower, flush, wash clothes or dishes, 

but one at a time. Were someone to try this

whilst another is showering, suddenly you

would be stranded, water free, with soap

on your body and shampoo in your hair!

I consider that right now I'm on a kind of 

H2O mini-vay.  (Think I'll coin the term!)

Someone can be washing dishes, a couple 

of others in the showers, yet another flushing, 

and NO DIMINISHMENT of flow anywhere!

Miracle of miracles, make no mistake . . .

a gift of the gods

the element of water 

gratitude abounds

09/03/2020

"I'm just a lover of words who is beautifully

broken and so grateful to be sill among so

many strong and brave warriors who have

faced demons and survived unspeakable

hells that others dare not speak of . . .

~Coleen C Kimbro

There are those who simply accept themselves

as they are; indeed, they may be the happiest

people on the planet. Then, there are some

who really don't care much, one way or another;

they just get on with 'it' without much thought.

And finally, there are a few who question all,

accept some things, strive to grow . . . L I F E

being a very serious proposition for them.

God only knows whether this has something

to do with reincarnation, personal growth or

that fetish some are born with. Alas, I am of

the latter persuasion. "Will my actions affect

that greater scheme of life? Is this selfish or

nourishing? Can this turn of events facilitate

someone else's life? What is my duty to my

family, my friends, acquaintances, or the

world that surrounds me?

Where, or where, can I get answers? Who

can help me with my queries? When will

ultimate wisdom finally set in? Will I ever

be who I'm supposed to be when I grow up?"

Alas, I'm at that time in my life where I

question everything and live on the verge

of despair because I am afraid I'll never

reach those personal goals. God help me!

praying for wisdom

searching every avenue

seeking truth at cost

09/02/2020 - World Goddess Day

As today is World Goddess Day, thought

I would address a couple of things you

may not have been privy to heretofore.

You will hear women particularly, saying

things like, 'I am a goddess. I honor the

goddess within,' etc. This does not mean

they are necessarily Pagan by creed. Most

women are trying to come to terms with

personal growth, honoring self and being

who we always wanted to be when we

grew up.

There are many goddesses known to us

today, obviously due to research and

historical accuracy. There is a pagan

adage, 'All goddesses are one goddess;

all gods are one god; the goddess and

the god are one God." (Please note the

punctuation.) I think of the Christian

God, who has more than 800 names

attributed to Him in The Holy Bible; it

means something to me. I have around

13 or so myself . . . mom, mother, teach,

ms. j, Linda-Dale, ld, cuz, cuñada, prima.

You get the point.

So today, no matter your belief system,

take a moment to honor your own spiritual

guide within . . . 

 . . . and, may the force be with you!

ye of many names

the center of my being

be with me ever

09/01/2020

Happiness is when what you think,

what you say, and what you do are

in harmony. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Here I am at o' dark thirty, awaiting a

decent hour to get up and face the day.

Thought I'd take a look at our infamous

FB and discovered the above treasure.

What a man, our Mahatma Gandhi! A

sage of the ages. How I long to obtain

this peace, if not happiness, ere I leave

this earth bereft of this wisdom.

I like to think I mostly control my mouth

and even what I do to some degree. But,

the whole thinking thing is way out of

control. It feels like my mind is paging

through a catalogue of every single topic

known to mankind . . . and not all of it

is pleasant.

I like to think in terms of new beginnings

and here we are, September first and just

four months left in 2020. Pray I have the

courage to embrace the challenge Gandhi 

has left behind . . .

ambition for life

think say do in harmony 

making the effort