09/30/2021

"Thirty days hath September,

April, June and November.

All the rest have thirty-one,

Excepting February alone,

And that has twenty-eight days clear

And twenty nine in each leap year."

Mother Goose

Has been just a tad exasperating

awaiting the arrival of my phenom

month of October, and here we are,

just one more day . . .

Seems I spend the entire month of 

September just planning my October

indulgences . . . ONE PER DAY!

"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"

Wizard of Oz . . . Best of all, seeing 

all my kids. Love my close friends

coming by . . . 'tis me who wants to

celebrate them, rather than them me.

What do I want in the way of pressies?

(My daughter's least fave word!) FACs

Eats. Visits. Telling tales out of school! 

No need for "Brown paper packages 

tied up with string." Sound of Music

Only 14 more hours . . .

may the hours fly

october awaiting me

my thirty one days

09/29/2021

7:00 a.m.

Quaking in fear this early morn . . .

Am to have oral surgery this a.m.

lasting about 4 hours. Thank the 

gods I will be under! Send good 

thoughts!

To be continued . . .

 - - -

4:00 p.m.

Continuing . . .

Honey, I'm home! 

I stumbled alongside my guy all 

the way to the car; never quite

certain how I made it to the cabin.

Don't even talk to me about the 

climb up the stairs, Sooooo, guess

I survived, although the jury's till

out!

 - - -

7:00 p.m.

At the end of the day . . .

I seem to be returning to me, albeit I

still can't sip water with my crooked

mouth. Perhaps I may indeed live to

halfway smile another day

 - - -

fear awaits outcome

a very unique journey 

tells its own story

09/28/2021

Today is National Son's Day; although

I think of my sons ever and always, 'tis

lovely to have a special day in which  

to celebrate them.

Lui, my first born is an amazing man,

artist and bibliophile.

Peter is a professional photographer  

and a stand up dad. And, don't even

get me started on his knowledge of

foods and beer.

Chris, Jeremiah and ZAK may belong  

to my guy, but I get to have them too!

Sooooo, what is it about having sons

that make them so special?! I've never

been quite certain that women utterly

understand men or that men truly get

women. Having said that, a mother

gets a free 'get out of jail' card when

it comes to sons, albeit they're also

those incomprehensible men!

Being all grown up with their own

responsibilities, I don't get to see

them all the time as I did when they

were kids. Still, there are shared

holidays, the odd visit, phone calls,

cards and e-mails. Staying in touch 

is important.

Bottom line . . .  I love them, pray 

for them, threaten God when things 

aren't going well for them, would

give my life . . .

loving me my sons

celebrating them today

ever and always

09/27/2021

Yesterday, we attended a Celebration 

of Life. An amazing experience, all 

told. 'Twas honoring a friend, neighbor, 

someone we much valued. 

I had never given any particular thought

to the fact that in our age bracket, we're

going to be losing our older friends and

family. It really only just hit me. Wow!

I find celebrating them, honoring them,

easy. I would hope to be so celebrated,

honored and remembered well when 

my time comes. My kids would tell 

you I've been preparing for my own

death for several years.

In my defense, it comes from a group

of specialists at the hospital giving me 

all the tests in the book when I fainted 

and cracked my skull open. I was told

I had a couple of months to live. If I

lived longer, it would take a year or so

for my brain to return to its original size

as it was quite swollen.

I do find I value life more since being

given the death threat. Isn't it interesting

how the thought of something being

taken away makes it feel more valuable?

I do pray I'll be given yet another little

while . . .

finding i love life

dont be in any hurry

to take me away

09/26/2021

"National Daughters Day was created 

in India in 1936, where it is celebrated 

on the last Sunday of September. It was 

Archies Limited who invented National 

Daughters Day. They created the holiday 

to raise awareness and promote the 

imbalance that daughters in some parts

of India are considered a burden, and

inferior to sons." calendarr

Sooooo love that the US has truly put

National Daughters Day on the calendar

and celebrates it widely. It's simply fun . . . 

the phone calls, the e-mails, the letters, 

the cards and gifts . . . all honoring our 

daughters. 

As the world slowly arrives at the place

of honoring women in equality with men,

we can recognize the importance of

celebrating our daughters on this world

renowned day.

Whether you celebrated yesterday, US

style, or today, Indian style, remember

the vast importance of our daughters.

Not to forget, we women, we mothers,

are also daughters . . .

 . . . I applaud all of us!

girls daughters mothers

lets celebrate our being

we women so rock

09/25/2021

At o' dark thirty this morning 

we had a bear come to visit. 

The dogs started barking to let 

us know and we got to watch 

Mr. Ginormous amble up the

sidewalk, cool as you please! 

Without a doubt, he was the 

largest bear we've ever had 

come calling.

Seeing so much wildlife has 

been one of the perks of living 

in a 130 year old cabin in the 

woods, as it were. And, we do 

get bear every summer and early

fall. But, we also receive plenty 

of visits from raccoons, bobcats

and mountain lions. Not quite 

sure why the bear are the most 

exciting!

I find myself ever grateful to

Mother Nature for her beauty,

her wildlife . . . her moods that

gift us such different, amazing 

weather patterns. What a life!

Little Miss Goldilocks had

naught on us . . .

do come and visit

mama daddy baby bears

find im missing you

09/24/2021

"Alcohol is an excellent servant,

but a terrible master."

~Christopher Hitchens

Every now and again, make that most

always, I get to thinking about my sins.

My parents used to listen to a minister

who would talk about our 'darling sins.'

Alas, me thinks, drinking may be my

darling sin.

As I enjoy drinking, I have an assortment

of rules in place to keep me out of danger.

   *never drink alone

   *drink only twice or thrice a week

   *no hard alcohol, except occasional marg

   *choose small, low alcohol beers

   *three months off from drinking yearly

I had my first drink when I came back 

to the US at 37. Having had no prior 

experience with drinking, I had to wade

through experimentation. Being both

enthusiastic as well as a slow learner,

there were some embarrassments along

the way.

I have followed the old Mexican rules

of drinking as well. No drinking for two

years whilst grieving the loss of a mother,

one year for a father. I like the respect

indicated in this unwritten custom, most

probably Catholic.

Sooooo, 'craful, craful,' as my brother 

used to say. Let's enjoy carefully! 

Salud!

09/23/2021

I am not ashamed

to have known the touch

of madness

or to share the passion

it has gifted me.

~A. Shea

Me thinks 'tis a malady to which we 

don't often admit. But, just think of

the times we've been overcome with

grief. The death of a child, albeit 

one of our own children, a young

friend or one of our students. That 

loss of a special parent or a close 

friend. Living through this kind of 

sorrow,  you indeed know madness!

Certain losses show us the door to 

a bit of madness. Loss of reputation;

the mishandling of funds and all

that this entails, accidental or not.

The loss of a special friendship,

often over some minute detail.

The death of a fave pet, however

embarrassing we may find this 

grief to be.

Those of us who tend toward the

eccentric, understand the madness

experienced from time to time in

not being understood, much less

accepted. Not often perhaps, but

just once in a while 'twould be

lovely to be part of the gang.

So, what's this all about? What am

I asking? What needs to happen?

Perhaps, the first thing would be 

to accept that bit of madness in 

ourselves. It follows then, that we

can be more understanding and

accepting of this in others.

Madness is real, it exists. It rears

its ugly head from time to time.

We would do well to accept this

and look it straight in the face!

It is what it is . . .

what is this sorrow 

a certain kind of madness

mad with angry grief

09/22/2021

"Most nights are tough . . .

She lays there in the darkness.

Overwhelmed by the things

she wished she didn't think about."

~r.h. Sin

Most of us know a thing or two

about sleepless nights. Interesting

how those long hours are passed in 

negativity rather than happy thoughts.

I find myself reviewing my sins,

looking at various ways I could have

done better, seeing those wrongs

against hearth and home . . . a never

ending saga of my foibles and faults.

How is it that we don't mentally

explore fun things to try, good things

to accomplish and even think about

the odd good deed or two?! I wonder

if we were born with an innate need

to critique and punish our wayward

selves?!

I wonder, is it too late to change the

habits of a lifetime? Can I at least

attempt a different approach? Practice

makes perfect? Or, some such!!!

I swear, there are times I would like

to ask Hitler himself about mind

control. I don't seem to be able to

harness my own!

having a bad night

bring on the fairy tales please

so tired of ugly

09/21/2021 - Autumnal Equinox

Mabon, otherwise known as the first

day of Autumn, the second harvest,

the Autumnal Equinox . . . 

This year, the Autumnal Equinox falls

on the 22nd rather than the 21st. Still,

I so love celebrating, me thinks I'll go

for both days, the traditional and the

actual. Let's take a look at what it is.

"The Autumnal Equinox is the moment

the sun crosses the equator from north

to south in September each year. The

equinox is the only time when the edge

between day and night runs perpendicular

to the equator, equally illuminating both

the southern hemisphere and the northern

hemisphere."

Sometimes I think I love the twice a year

equinoxes so much because of balance.

I've often commented that I'm the most

imbalanced Libra that I know. However,

on March 21st and September 21st, I

have that semblance of balance.

We'll celebrate the end of summer and

the beginning of fall. The leaves are

turning and the mountain tops show off

a light vesting of snow. Mornings and

evenings are chilly, warmth showing up

in the middle of the day. 

We have six weeks in which to enjoy 

this amazing season! Happy Autumn!

tis a bit chilly

already missing summer

enjoy anyway

09/20/2021

"Happy is when someone gives you

a big hunk of something wonderful

and it's too big to hold. So, you pull 

off a piece from time to time to hold

in your hand. That's being contented."

~Betty Smith, Joy in the Morning 

Somewhere in the American Dream,

we get all mixed up about happy. 

We tend to hold happy dear, almost 

to the exclusion of anything else.

Happy, happiness, joy, bliss . . . all 

are important. The searching for, 

the living for . . . all important. Still, 

I can't help but wonder the price we

pay for being so wrapped up in the

search for happiness that we miss

a great deal of life?!

The analogy of love making comes

to mind. Perhaps we are so intent 

on experiencing the end result that 

we don't even enjoy the beautiful 

path that leads us there. 

Bottom line, all experiences are

important. Lessons to be learned,

precious moments to be held close

to our souls, sorrow to be honored,

love to share . . . all important!

Let's live our lives to the fullest . . .

experiencing all those different

spices that make our lives both

interesting and delectable!

"Joy comes to us in ordinary moments.

We risk missing out when we get too

busy chasing down the extraordinary."

~Brené Brown

so living the life

joy to come from time to time

experience all

09/19/2021

Sabrá Dios lo que pasó?! Ni

siquiera yo tengo idea.

Será porque el diez y seis de 

septiembre acaba de pasar. Tal 

vez fue porque fui a escuchar a

mariachis el día de ayer. Pero, 

por equis o zeta, me senté a sus 

pies, escuchando su bella música 

y llorando a cántaros.

Les hice sentir muy incómodos a

nuestros anfitriones. No es lo que

quise, simplemente sucedió. El

caso es que probablemente nunca

debí me haber dejado mi lindo y

querido México.

Cuando uno es tan excéntrico, 

y por fin se halla cómodo en un 

lugar, más le vale quedarse ahí.

Gustando el país, amando a la

gente, adorando a las familias y

sus nenes . . . todo indica tal

respuesta.

Un día volveré. Tal vez sea en

cenizas para echarse al viento,

pero volveré. Quiero volar entre

nubes, descansar en sus brazos

y escuchar Cielito Lindo de lejos.

como extraño

añorando mis penas

yo quiero volver

*Dedicado a Doña Alicia Sueltenfuss

09/18/2021

 What is it about anger, rage, fury?

You never even thought you were

capable of it, and yet . . .

All your life you've known who

you are. You absolutely know

yourself. There are no secrets

whatsoever.

And then, you are angrily attacked,

out of the blue, for something you

know nothing about. Your mouth

falls open in surprise. Your face

turns red and ever so slowly, your

blood begins to boil. You explode.

You don't even recognize the person  

you have just become.

How does it happen? Unspeakable!

In a moment of clarity, you finally 

get a clue how violence happens. 

And yet, you have never credited 

yourself for being capable of such 

a reaction.

I doubt very much that life lays

awake at night, dreaming up ways

to teach us these lessons. Still, 

things happen and we might as

well learn something!

So, where does one go from there?

Does one demand apologies, exact 

revenge? Seek forgiveness from self? 

From the accuser? Can one's own 

capability of rage be accepted? 

Understanding helps. Taking time

is essential. Healing awaits and

lessons are indeed to be learned. 

Most likely, I'll be learning right 

up until the moment life ends for

me. Most remarkable!!!

my heart hurts just now

wheres daddy when i need him

want to be consoled